DNN #16

[gandalfo 1452]

 

 

Edition #16

 

Guilty, Frostbeard punished!

Let it be known, in the Under-Realms of Urguan, that your crimes will be punished. Garrond Frostbeard has learned this lesson the hard way after taking actions into his own hands. G. Frostbeard was charged with slavery, perjury, vigilantism, and impersonation of a public official. He was found innocent of the charge of slavery, however, he was found guilty on the charges of perjury, vigilatism, and impersonation of a public official. The punishments were 5,300 minas and the revocation of his permanent citizenship in the Under-Realms of Urguan.

 

Local Goldhand Attacks National Treasure

The trial of the century happened in Urguan today. Grand Champion of Urguan, Charles ‘The Bald’, was charged with attempted murder. What happened in the courts, nobody expected. The prosecution showed incompetence and made a mockery of the courts when they did not even read the Laws of Urguan. The prosecutor, Ivar Goldhand, refused to read the laws and tried to charge the national treasure and Grand Champion, Charles ‘The Bald’, with something that is not even a crime. The expert legal team defending the legend quickly figured this out and demanded a dismissal of the trial. The court was adjourned to return at a later date, due to the Prosecution's inability to produce a coherent case, nor were they able to produce a consistent set of charges. The entire situation was abysmal and embarrassing for the new Court System in Urguan.

[SimplySeo 6999]

Jorvin Starbreaker pulls a small clay capsule from his pocket, and rolls it between his fingers. He contemplates biting down on it for a moment, before sighing.

 

”Nae t’dae, auld friend.”

[Burnsy 437]

”Ah, teh onleh news source ah trust with anotheh amazin’ storeh.” Ulhart said with a chortle. 

[Nooblius 7965]

High Preceptor and Magistrate Norli Starbreaker sighs as he reads over the latest edition of DNN.

 

“I at first was hesitant with agreein’ ta Chief Justiciar Dwalin Irongut’s choice o’ postponing, but it seems quite evident dat da prosecution was nae properly prepared fer da case and da defense was over prepared. I’m confident dat it was an unfair balance of power on da two legal teams, and dat da postponement will only serve ta aid da defense, perhaps just as they needed.”

[Cordial__ 230]

“Sad!” says Dwalin Irongut

[Hiebe 2493]

Anudder fake news outlet.

 

Cries the scarred dwarf

[McDaedra 261]

Maf would promptly stuff a sock in the nearest dwarf who happened to be screaming “FAYKE NEWSSS!” and continued to page through older DNN’s, as they are a better source of history than them damn libraries.

[sneakybandit 1650]

Darek smiles the sun’s smile as he reads the DNN after returning from a long court battle.

   “Good tuh see teh best enhanced news is back in town”

[Tharggus 50]

Tharggus shakes his head reading the news “Beh a horrible deh wen deh try tuh troil eh national trasure”

[Josh3738 3137]

“If th’ glove don’ fit ye must acquit.” Says an aged dwarf in a time traveling Winnebago. 

[Kaiser 2347]

Boeing Irongrinder sips his coffee

[CHARLES THE BALD 2615]

Charles “The Bald” would get sicker by reading this edition of DNN but he would still say very slowly “Justice was served”