The Sir Humphrey Party

[Slimmy_Rimmy 95]

ATTENTION MEN!

 

Today is the start of you taking back what you have built! 

 

You!

Who spent 30 years of your life slinking as a muzzy mule for the ample wheat that shushes the bellies of NOT your own family!

You!

Who lost your eye and thirty of your friends for the ISA, only to find you are last in line for the Emperor's deflated bosom, and not even a vinegary droplet awaits your parched throat at the suckle of his calloused teet!

And you!

Who writes the night away by the grace of a camper's lamp before brushing one-thousand times each side the powdered wig of the signature of your genius!

 

I do say that YOU men are the true builders of the empire! And yet, before us there are plodding, pea-brained slobs and WOMEN in charge! Why, just the other day I made a harmless comment to a woman concerning her breasts, and I was harassed by a rogue automaton! Thank goodness the ISA came when they did, only... The new Solicitor General is a WOMAN, and therefor I suffered the wrath of her warped, womanly emotions and constant struggle with inadequacy, as well as being (conveniently enough) the cousin of the female I had commented on the breasts of earlier on. So... NOT 'thank goodness the ISA came when they did,' because the violent metal abomination (who was my molester) was set free and, get this, I was taken to jail and filed with made-up charges that I can only assume were inspired by the Solicitor General’s revenge-fantasy journal she'd written when her beau went away at the girth of her thigh. I had to pay a fine of 100 mina, that no doubt went directly into her pocketbook, just to stop the beating and harassment! It was no doubt, I had decided, Ophelia's 'lady-week.'

 

We have coined the term, "feminism."

It's meaning?

"... When females contradictorily try to prove they are better than men by becoming men themselves; oftentimes, in very obnoxious ways."

It is a phenomenon in our time, for this is what happens when the blumbering buffoons in office give women (with all sorts of mixed up ideas in their heads; using fancy words such as, “self-esteem”), their way. 

 

A change must be made.

 

We, good men, are the last bit of the realm that still believe in integrity. We call ourselves, The Sir Humphrey Party. Lead by our brave and noble leader who, at this time, prefers to remain anonymous. 

 

Those who wish to join the revolution, please seek us out discreetly.

 

Many thanks! 

 

- Sir Humphrey 

 

 

 

[TheIchorDruid 1986]

[!] A courier raven flutters down to the famed Sir Humphry, the contents of the parchment as followed:

 

"Dear Sir Humphry!

I am most apologetic you found the just action delegated by myself and my Assistant Solicitor General most unfair! However, I might remind you that naught but misleading information is written amongst your advertisement. Firstly, you were fined a sum of Sixty Marks, a fee that not just you alone were charged with. Mr Reginald was also fined the same sum for his wrongs upon that evening. 

 

I apologise my womanly nature upsets you so, for this nature is Law and such law approved of by His Imperial Majesty. Thus! I applaud you for your saddening advertisement, but it is most unbecoming to spread lies and sobbing akin a babe to gain sympathy from denizens whom have also been subject to your antics. 

 

Yours Sincerely,

Ophelia van Wick, Solicitor General of the Ministry of Justice

[Mescaffier 6197]

Lieutenant-Chaplain Viktoriya DeNurem let out a snort, lifting the missive she'd found into the air to read amidst her evening patrol.  "How cruel, I and the Assistant Solicitor General were left out of the tale! We're just extras, I suppose," the dastardly woman snickered beneath her breath, continuing upon her merry way to go harass a random passerby. 

[FlemishSupremacy 6115]

"I hate femoids." Says a certain man named Quinten from behind his bandana. He found this news to be quite shocking! Upon hearing it, he immediately began to sob at the downfall of a mighty society to existential threat that is gender equality. 

[rukio 8924]

12 minutes ago, FlemishSupremacy said:

"I hate femoids." Says a certain man named Quinten from behind his bandana. He found this news to be quite shocking! Upon hearing it, he immediately began to sob at the downfall of a mighty society to existential threat that is gender equality. 

A certain Ratcliffe nods in his agreement, kicking over some pink wool and sticking his tongue out at a feminine passerby! It was clear the rat was angry with femoids! In some effort to self-comfort he would fit his snug helmet back over his deformed face, the right side dangling ever so slightly due to the lack of an ear. He mutely curses the gods for the wounds that plagued him to never be loved by women. Woe to the rat.

[Axelu 4333]

A rabid man quivered over the drool-covered  pamphlet, his mouth teetering into a lopsided smile - his warped, stained teeth made apparent. 

 

"The time of men returns.." He cackled elatedly, "too long have we been in the shadows of women.."

 

He proceeded to scratch his belly, rotund and garbed with an ill-fitting shirt representative of a bygone period of wealth. He belched.

[LordCrowe 173]

Private Hendrick Mengelestein laughed as he thought of what Ensign Velu would do to this poor unfortunate fellow

 

"he doesn't stand a chance...." he says, shaking his head, imagining the burned body and shallow grave to follow

[Crows 118]

"The hottest, smartest, and coolest man in history and the future" he'd read over the flyer