The Cusp of Womanhood

[CopOwl 1668]

The Quest of a young Ludovar

 

Spoiler

For reference of the situation, this is in response of:

https://www.lordofthecraft.net/forums/topic/210651-an-open-letter-for-my-daughters/

https://youtu.be/rnrK3zxsKdA

 

 

[The Ludovar twins traversing the streets of Karosgrad.]

 

I. WHO ARE YOU?

"You shall depart from Haense to have time away from all the current ties you have, to own a clearer mind.”

 

It had been a quite miserable day, thus far.

Adele Ludovar received a messenger that morning from her temporary noble accommodations in Karosgrad - due to the Komital House’s apartment being moved or renovated following their promotion - who had hurried, huffing and puffing, to her door with letter in hand. The letter entailed the missive which her father had written and published that very morning regarding herself and her sister.

 

She had felt vindicated, attacked, and by her own father? He was banishing her from her home, her friends, and everything she holds dear. And for what? Her young, immature mind could not conceive of why he would antagonise her in this way and she felt spiteful towards him.

It didn’t help how, when she sought out her sister for guidance and understanding, she had seemed far more excited about the prospect than she had! It made Adele feel that maybe there was something wrong with her… Surely she should be excited, ecstatic about finally being given permission to leave Karosgrad by herself and make her own way in the world. But she didn’t…

 

The Ludovar Twins gathered in Karosgrad to say their final goodbyes to all of their friends and family - an emotional affair - and it only soured Adele further to see the attitude of Amicia versus the disappointment of her relatives and closest friends. Should she not be crying? Bawling, at the decision to send her away? It just made Adele feel silly and immature for making such a fuss, while highlighting dear sweet Amicia’s grace and maturity as the older twin. 6 Saint’s Minutes… For this.

 

Goodbyes were said, tears were shed, and hugs were shared. And finally Adele rode her dearest horse, Bit, towards her destination: Elysium. It was the first place she could think of, after everything. But as she wandered through the busy streets, all that filled her mind was memories of her latest trip there. But without Theodosya to cheer her up, or Klara’s excitement and encouragement, the city truly didn’t feel the same - or like home. She had gone there to seek out her maternal grandfather or further information about her mother, but no one she had seen seemed as though they may be familiar with her mother - or the de Astrea family at all. 

As she sunk in defeat against a pillar in the central square, she hung her head low in shame. She felt like such a failure. It was only day 1 of living on her own and she had found nothing of interest, and she couldn’t even find sufficient accommodation for herself to sleep that evening. She curled up, without the motivation to even write in her diary as she was accustomed to doing, against the cold stone pillar. She listened quietly to the goings on of the evening as her eyes fluttered closed in fatigue. She took a moment to drape her thick fur cloak across herself before her eyes drooped shut.

Safe to say that Adele slept rough that night…

 

[An artist’s rendition of Adele’s metaphorical journey to adulthood in leaving Karosgrad and travelling through the woods to Elysium.]

 

II. WHO DO YOU WANT TO BE?

'Only when you return from your quest will you be considered as ready to officially reach adulthood.’

 

Her heart felt empty as she trudged through the empty streets of Yong Ping.

She had given up with Elysium after a horrendous month of sleeping the streets, witnessing the affairs of darkness, and watching a few rare moments of innocent child kindness. Children were common to the streets of the Kingdom, though whose they were or where they stayed was not known to Adele, however she had watched them play through the Elysian avenues for hours on end. It had warmed her heart to watch them, and observing their play had certainly given her plenty of time to think. 

She despised the person she had been the month prior: spiteful, full of disgust and protest, unenthusiastic, even cruel at times. But nothing she had said or done had been faked or had been a lie! She WAS unenthusiastic about leaving, but she did love her sister. When they separated from each other at last in a busy hub of travel, the tears she had shed had been nothing if not real. 

And now as she sat upon the highest roof of the barren city, the rain battering her back, she was filled with an unending sense of loneliness and the image of those happy clapping playing Elysian children filled her mind with longing. 

 

As a child, Adele had been very sick and weak - a trait typical of one child in a pair of twins - and thus her father had kept her safe and cramped and bored inside the Otistadt nursery for many years. Through her first years of life, through her mother’s death, and even through Amicia’s eventual release to the streets of Karosgrad. While this confinement had alighted in her a furious passion for reading and literature, she had missed out on years of play which her twin had been given access to. As such, she often felt robbed of her childhood.

 

She worried for her sister, her dearest twin who she treasured dearly. No matter how jealous she may feel on the bad days, nothing could fill the void in her soul when they were separated; when she didn’t know where she was. When she had first been introduced to Karosgrad’s pavement, she followed Amicia like her personal shadow. She had tried to emulate her - following in her every step and motion, but of course as they grew they drifted apart. They had never officially fought, but there were days filled with jealously and anger; occasional aggression and later tears of sorrow and remorse.

 

The rippling water expanse extended before her while the abandoned city sat unused. There were a number of heartfelt details within the foreign city, and over her time spent there she came to learn of many of the alleys and got to know the capital very well. Her favourite spot she discovered was the roof of the island casino where one could see the entire metropolis with its intricate architecture and well-loved streets. And from her favourite spot one day, she spied movement within the Yong Ping streets…

And as Adelaide von Audrick walked through the avenues, she had caught the eye of Adele Emma, and that day was an eventful one…

 

[Adele Emma leading Bit through the countrysides of Almaris to her new destination: Sedan.]

 

III. WHAT IS THE REAL PLEASURE IN LIFE?

'I wish to pass on a dream I had when I was your age onto you. I wanted to figure out who I was, what I wanted to do with my life and how I can become a better man.’

 

Adele Emma sat atop a hilltop with her book in front of her, and pen in hand.

For she was no longer Adele Ludovar, as her father had decreed. She was now Adele Emma; her mother’s daughter. A girl who was named after Queen Emma Karenina of Karosgrad, a woman she great admired. A girl who was named after her illusive Reinmaren grandmother, Adele the former. Two great women who she had always wished to emulate, to make them proud and make her father proud. 

 

But things were different now: Adele Emma turned 18 that day and she could officially return home, if she was ready… But she hadn’t answered the final question. She knew who she was: she was Adele Emma Ludovar. And she knew exactly who she wanted to be: she wanted to be the woman worthy of her names, the woman who could live up to that precedent and the woman who would make her father proud.

 

But what was a real pleasure? What did she love to do? And as she sat there, alone, atop a Sedanian hill, she glanced down to her beaten and muddied dress. Her eyes brushed over her small bag of possessions with its books, and her tiny Bokolo fledgling taking shelter inside her bag. They passed over her bottle of alcohol, her remaining food, and her jewellry. But finally she fixated on something: the gifts she had purchased all across Almaris to give to her family. And while she sat there and thought for a moment, she remembered her travels in the past months and how gruelling they had been. And she remembered what had pushed her through, what she had been hanging onto the whole time. 

 

Adele Emma missed her family profoundly, the crater left in her heart could do nothing but grow, its cracks spreading all over her face and features without those she loved the most by her side.

Her eyes gazed around the streets of the Principality of Sedan, where her sister would come to rule over in harmony with her brother-in-law. It was a desolate place, with a chill wind that reminded her of home. Adele Emma found it both an unnerving and a comforting place, all at the same time. She briefly wandered the streets - the houses were small and cramped, with the great Castle impeding upon them, and it made her feel sorry for Amicia’s future life. 

But she resolved that there was nothing she could do about it from there, it was time to finish up and collect her horse.

Adele Emma wanted to go home.

 

[Adele Emma gathering flowers on her travels.]

 

[!] A letter is published in the hand of Adele Emma Ludovar. It bears no seal upon it, though it is addressed to Count Johann Ludovar.

 

"Dearest Papej,

 

I have learnt a lot during my time away and I think I am finally ready to come back and answer your questions. I am Adele Emma Ludovar, and I am your daughter. I am the younger of two twins and we are turning 18 years of age today. I love books, and I love my pets. I am not confident, but I love throwing parties and making people happy. I was named after a successful businesswoman, my grandmother Adele, and I was named after a gifted Queen, Koenas Emma. I have an aspiration to be involved in the management of law and justice, just as you did. But most importantly, I love you and my family. I am emotional, but that is okay. That is who I am. I am your beloved daughter.

I wish to live up to the amazing women I am named after. I don’t know if that is even possible, but I want to be generous, kindhearted, loyal, loving, warm, considerate, brave, and ambitious just like them. And I will hold those traits close to me as I try to follow in their footsteps. 

I thought for a long time, all of the time that I was gone I have thought about this. The third question, the final question. And finally it dawned on me when I realised what I had been pining for all that time, and the reason I had wanted to leave home so little. I didn’t want to leave you, my family. Are family is not that large, in comparison to other, and we are tight-knight. We are close. I have missed you dearly on my travels. I have missed Amicia more than anything, like losing a piece of myself - though I think that being away from her has helped me to learn independence. But all those things aside, the thing I noticed when we first passed through Karosgrad’s gates - no, when I first read your letter to us, I missed my family. And the realest pleasure in life is to spend time with your family and friends, something that you can only realise when you are parted from them. 

Papej, I think I am ready to come home now. Oh, how I have missed Haense…

With all my love, your dearest daughter,

Adele Emma Ludovar”

 

 

[Adele within Otistadt as a young child, although her days of childhood are now over…]

 

[RaijenStars 967]

Johann Ludovar read the first letter he received from his daughters throughly, the letter from the daughter he was more worried about after her visible protest and difficulty to leave for the journey.

While reading the letter his smile grew wider and wider, while he showed confidence, he was very warry if the expedition will even bear fruits as this tradition was never done before in the family, but this was way more than he ever imagined. The words of his daughter touched his heart, hearing how she both grew to accept herself and determine her future, he was of course excited to hear as she wished to follow his own footsteps but more than anything - he was glad to hear of her love for the family.

There was not a single thing in this world Johann cares more about than his family, and he struggled through his youth wishing his family would feel the same.

With this letter he felt he did a good job educating his children and building an enviroment his family would enjoy and like to stay in, unlike previous generations.

With that, he proudly went to start preparing for the return and coming of age ceremonies of his daughters.