Scyfling Culture: Wedding Traditions

[CopOwl 1668]

Scyfling Culture: Wedding Traditions

Published by the County of Malkovya

ISSUED ON THE 6TH OF MSITZA AND DARGUND, 482 E.S.

 

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A STUDY ON THE HANSO-SCYFA TRADITIONS OF MARRIAGE

Penned by the hand of Her Ladyship, Anabel Elia Colborn, Keeper of The Book

"Gor vardifuli neji de fyrste tre dagi af weddi, utani de tredje yere" - Scyfling Proverb

"Make precious not the first three days of marriage, but the third year"

O’ GUD, VOR HJELP I GYNE ERE,

 

With a new generation on the horizon, and surely many blossoming romances to come, it felt pertinent to dedicate a portion of my duty as the Keeper of the infamous Book of House Colborn and its ancient lords and edifices contained therein to record our culture’s ancient rites and traditions pertaining to Marriage. Additionally, with the ascent of our beloved Queen Amaya of Venzia in her marriage to King Aleksandr II, this publication is written in honour of Her Majesty to share her practices with her people. Certain traditions were mentioned in the previous Scyfling Culture publication, though these only scratch the surface of deep House Colborn and Scyfling History. 

 

While Ruskan traditions of marriage have developed along their own throughline, towards the adornment of expensive outfits and jewellry accompanied by lavish feasts for the women and jousting tournaments for the men, Scyfling traditions distinguish themselves through several key familial practices carried over from the times of our ancestors. 

 

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CORTUAL AG BETROLIVNI  - Courtship and Betrothals

I.     COURTSHIP TRADITIONS

 

An artist’s depiction of blacksmith Annebelle in courtship with her soon-husband, Cassian Colborn.

COURTSHIP RITUALS among the youth are, broadly, the same across cultures. It is not unusual for a particularly beautiful young lady to attract the attention of a dashing young man - or vice versa! Among Scyfling people, it is not taboo for a woman to approach the man she is interested in first, very unlike the Ruskan tradition of prospective bachelorettes waiting for suitors to entertain. Young Scyflings frequently become acquainted during church holidays, or at festivals, and at evening socials such as Tavern nights among the populace. 

 

Among some families, when a girl comes of marriageable age she begins to wear an empty sheath attached to her girdle. If a young suitor takes a liking to her, he places a ceremonial knife in the sheath to signal his interest, and she would keep the weapon if she likes him as well, and return it if she disapproves.

THE RYFLEBAND EXCHANGE occurs when a Scyfling has decided to offer their heart to someone. They give their prospective partner the “Ryfleband”. These Ryflebandi are handed down the generations from mother to son, or father to daughter. Some Ryflebandi are family heirlooms, meaning that if the individual gifted the Ryfleband declines their partner’s gesture, then the Ryfleband will need to be returned. However, many Ryflebandi are necklaces, bracelets, or armlets lovingly crafted just for the purpose of gifting it to the Scyfling’s beloved. If a non-Scyfling is the chosen recipient of a Ryfleband, the Scyfling in question is encouraged to teach their partner how to craft one so that they may give one in exchange and allow the tradition to continue in the coming generations.

 

Gems are often avoided in a Ryfleband, instead many Scyflings opt for beads, polished rocks, wood, and other natural ingredients that symbolise different things. Some people elect to collect and polish rocks from a location they have fond memories of; in this way they can entrust these precious sentiments to their chosen partner for them to keep them safe. Additionally, beads of gorgeous patterns are often added to a Ryfleband, and many individuals choose to adorn beads forming the symbols or colours associated with their family. For example, many young Colborns craft Ryflebandi using black and white or raven-eyed beads in honour of their House.

 

A group of Scyfling children gathering plants and stones in anticipation of crafting their Ryflebandi.

II.     BETROTHAL PRACTICES

 

A light-haired Scyfling couple posing for a portrait - likely at the request of their Elders.

BETROTHAL PRACTICES in Scyfling society are a sequence of events which a couple seeking permission to get engaged must carry out. They do this to acquire the consent of their Elders and parents, as any individuals that marry against their parents’ wishes would be unable to expect a dowry to support the bride in her first years of marriage, or any inheritance in the future. 

 

Typically, in the year before marriage, a bride may elect to take time off from her work or other responsibilities. This is so that she may travel to visit her relatives and neighbours to collect any gifts they may have; often linen, wool, cloth, or money, and she spends the remainder of her time using these items to create clothing such as smocks, stockings, gloves, handkerchiefs, etc., that she will give to the groom, his parents, and other relatives (with her mother-in-law to receive the most) on the morning after their wedding. 

THE ELDER’S APPROVAL is a centrepiece to the Courtship process among Scyfling circles. Before one can become engaged or betrothed, both individuals must arrange a meeting with the Grand Elder of each Scyfling House. While often synonymous, both the Grand Elder and the Patriarch or Matriarch (or both) must give their consent and approval before any arrangements can be made between families. 

 

Often, the soon-betrothed will have dinner with the Grand Elder and Parriarch to discuss and gain their approval. Additionally, this can often be the opportunity for the parents of both young individuals to meet one another, get to know each other, and for both families to grow closer before agreeing to a permanent union. On the other hand, it can be a low-stakes occasion for any party involved to revoke their permission to wed, or sort out any inter-familial grievances in a positive environment. 

 

A young Scyfling man introducing his prospective bride to the Grand Elder.

THE MARRSKA EXCHANGE is connected to the “Marrska”; the individual tasked with overseeing the breeding and care of horses in a Scyfling family. When members of two families have decided to get married and sought the permission of their respective Heads of Houses and Grand Elders, the Marrska Exchange takes place. 

 

In the past, horses were important symbols representing a House’s pride and prestige, and they were also incredibly valuable. It was a point of pride for each Scyfling family to keep and breed peak-condition horses to suit their needs. For example, a hunting family may breed swift horses, while a merchant family may prefer to keep more athletic breeds. The Marrska Exchange is an event in which two families about to be unified in marriage exchange a top-quality horse from each of their stables. To allow another family’s Marrska or delegate into one’s stables, and to offer them a horse is a clear sign of trust. Furthermore, the Marrska often - in the process - is given the opportunity to enter the other party’s dwelling, and makes a judgement about the other family’s suitability for their relative based on its cleanliness, the condition of any refreshments they are served, and how well they treat their horses.

 

A Scyfling family’s Marrska preparing one of their horses to perform the Marrska exchange.

 

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FORLOVI AG WEDI - Engagement and Weddings

III.     ENGAGEMENT EVENTS

 

An artist’s impression of Loviska Faolain-Colborn at her wedding to St. Carr Colborn.

ENGAGEMENT CUSTOMS among Scyfling people are a very sacred practice, and there are several things that must be completed before and as a couple are wed in holy matrimony before Gud. In the past, a formal proposal of marriage would be preceded by a discreet inquiry by the gentleman suitor to ensure that he would not be met with rejection. 

 

The suitor, accompanied by an older spokesman - his father or other relative - venture to his chosen young lady’s home and they present the girl and her family with a bottle of spirits and some gifts. Often, these gifts are specific to her and her family; as they are intended to honour them, and act as an offering before the official proposal of marriage is given. If the girl’s family intend to reject the proposal, the gifts are returned at a later date. However, if their answer is favourable, the girl and her parents visit the suitor’s home in return, and the bride-to-be may even stay for a short period to impress her partner’s parents and help with the housework.

THE BRIDAL CROWN BESTOWAL is an important event in a betrothed Scyfling woman’s life. Once a pair of young people have completed all of the necessary procedures to get engaged, it is the duty of the bride’s mother, grandmother, other female relatives, or the Grand Elder (if she is female) to gather the bride and the children of the family to listen to stories of her wedding and marriage. 

 

It is on this occasion that the elder female relative in question gifts the bride with her own bridal crown to wear on her wedding day. The bestowal is for this purpose, and for the elder relative to offer the bride with advice and lessons on how to maintain a happy and successful marriage. Scyfling children are highly encouraged to engage with familial tradition, and they attend an older female relative’s bridal crown bestowal to listen to their elder’s stories and learn more about their culture. 

 

Alternatively, if a female relative is unavailable for the bestowal, an older male relative or a male Grand Elder can take their place. Often, they tell stories about their own wedding and wife, and other memories of the past that could benefit the bride as she begins the next step of her life. Additionally, if the bride is marrying into a Scyfling family, she is still offered the honour of adorning the Elder’s bridal crown - or the family’s communal crown - and treated as though she were a daughter of the family as a sign of acceptance.

 

A Scyfling Bride being bestowed with the Grand Elder’s Bridal Crown.

THE SCYFHJELMER BESTOWAL, or Scyfling Helm Bestowal, is the male alternative to the Bridal Crown bestowal. The Grand Elder (if he is male), or another older male relative, retells stories from his youth of courtship, his marriage, and he shares advice to teach the groom how to treat his future wife. This is also a chance for the groom, if he is marrying into a Scyfling family, to get to know the other male members of the family and earn their trust and approval. On occasion, the men will go on a hunt together to grow closer. 

 

At the conclusion of the revelries, the groom is given a ceremonial family helmet for him to wear during the wedding. The Scyfhjelmer may only be removed, on the wedding day, by the bride once they have both taken their vows in order for the married couple to share a kiss. It is considered bad fortune for the bride to see her husband’s face before this moment if he chooses to wear the Scyfhjelmer.

 

A Scyfling Groom donning his family’s Scyfhjelmer.

IV.     WEDDING EVENTS

 

A painting of guests and the bridal party waiting outside a church for a Scyfling wedding to begin.

WEDDING EVENTS are often a strictly structured and ritual affair, historically involving animals and a weeklong sequence of events. In the present, on her wedding day, the bride wears a family heirloom wedding dress and her bridesmaids don similar clothing. This is to help protect the bride by confusing any evil spirits that may want to ruin her wedding. Additionally, alike many other Scyfling traditions, Scyfling women have always had a degree more independence than other groups’, and it is for this reason that the bride typically walks herself down the aisle.

 

Furthermore, it is well known that Scyfling families commonly bring and gift goats to their friends, allies, and family members when they get married. At any wedding, the ideal goat is of  golden blonde colour as it is a symbol of wealth and good fortune for the newly married couple. 

THE WEDI BRIDLOP, or “The Tour of the Bride”, is a tradition originating in the early days of Scyfling conversion to Canonism. In these times, it was difficult to take written records and there were not proper avenues by which a bride and groom could be recognised as legally married. Naturally, the local authority (the King, Chieftain, etc.) may choose to recognise the union, however, this was uncommon. In order to publicly announce the couple’s new relation to one another, the recently married pair would travel around the area with a portion of their bridal party to showcase their married status and announce it to others. 

 

This practice is not necessary in current times, however the bride and groom may elect to continue a tradition in the spirit of the original custom. Often, they choose to do this by holding a race among the bridal party and their guests. All attendants race along a set course that leads them through the countryside to the site of the “Wedifest” - or Wedding Feast - where everyone celebrates the joyous occasion. To distinguish themselves from their guests, the bride and groom are each permitted to ride a horse, while all others must compete on foot. Additionally, as an extra motivator, he who arrives to the Wedifest last shall be required to pour everyone’s drinks for the evening.

 

Frequently, the Wedifest is an opportunity for the friends and guests of the newlyweds to share stories about them among themselves and give any well wishes and gifts they may have brought. In addition, toasts are common at Scyfling weddings, and guests can often expect a toast from the father of the bride, and/or the patriarch of her House, the bride, the groom, the father of the groom, and/or the patriarch of his House.

 

An old Scyfling Wedi Bridlop in the First Age.

IN SUMMARY, wedding traditions among Scyflings are very complex and many of them have a deep history. A large proportion of this very ancient history has been left out of this publication in favour of finishing a relevant and timely study. In my free moments, I hope to do more research into these old ways that may not have as many records for the purposes of publishing a historical memoir in the future. 

 

My advice to young Scyfling brides - or those aspiring to become Scyfling through marriage - is to cross-reference the notes written here and those on bridal attire documented in the previous Scyfling Culture publication. Only by imbibing and immersing oneself in all aspects of culture can one develop a full and deep understanding.

 

Moreover, I encourage any tentative or curious individuals to embrace Scyfling traditions if anything written herein calls to them. Additionally, I am always accepting letters from those with further interest in my area of expertise, or those who require further clarifications.

 

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SKRALI VOR GUD,

 

Her Ladyship, Anabel Elia Colborn, Keeper of the Book, Royal Scribe

[yopplwasupxxx 5665]

Very cool +1

[JuliusAakerlund 1780]

(Always a joy to see your lore take physical form. I'm greatful to CopOwl and everyone else who speaks to me, consults me and writes this into reality. I look forward to the many other pieces we'll be putting forward.)