The Haelun'or Gazette - Vol. VI

[The_Haelunor_Gazette 163]

 

The Haelun’or Gazette

Published the 1st of the Deep Cold, Y. 149, SA

Vol. VI

 

Important News and Events - Haelun’ors Local and Global news column

With the final battle of our war against the Valeites fast approaching, we implore all who are able to join in arms with our Sillumir and bring us a swift and glorious victory! Join the war effort while you still can, and if you cannot remember to send your support through our war bonds!

 

Miss Matchmaker

We would like to add a small note before we head into our Miss Matchmaker section. All entries for our currently eligible matchmake’ees are written exactly as they are given to us! If you, the reader, believe these entries are perhaps a bit self-centered, just know that we have not altered these submissions in the slightest! 

 

For our future matchmake’ees, we have taken the liberty of writing the public opinion on them! These are meant to be of a playful sort, rather than be taken as us promoting the oem’ii for courtship.

 

The entries are formatted in the following way:
A portrait of our matchmake’ees

Name of our bachelor/bachelorette
Their age
Their gender
And finally, a self-written description!

 

Curunir Maeyr’onn

204
Male
A diligent Sillumir, tall, pure, brooding. Piercing yellow eyes and luscious blonde locks. Stern, but gentle-hearted with time. Enjoys long walks on the beach, poetry, and preserving the culture of the ‘thill. His weaknesses are gifts of roses and other classic romantic gestures.

 

Stelios Hyptos
89
Male
A fisherman, chariot builder, and poet. A youthful, athletic mali’thill who boasts that he is the son of a beautiful haelun. He spends time between the Iron Temple, amongst gardens and libraries to achieve perfect art. His blonde hair may be in a pompadour-like style, or sparse braids. He is interested in high-art, athletics, song, and storytelling. His weakness is… “Bad Girls”, to quote himself.

 

Theveus Sythaerin
145
Male
A member of the Sillumir who claims he is strong, handsome, manly, redpilled, bold, brave, and beautiful. His interests include capturing maidens and taking names (a rather odd choice of words for an esteemed soldier). His weakness seems to be his unrequited love for a particular red-headed ‘aheral.

 

Future Matchmake’ees
 

Carallia Maeyr’onn
48
Female 
The heiress to the Maeyr’onn talonii. Tall and graceful, with a presence akin to the sun with her white hair and golden eyes. An aspiring artist and writer, she enjoys spending time with her young ward. Her weaknesses are sweets, specifically lemon-based treats.

 

Whispers in the Wind - Haelun’ors gossip column

Pamphilos seems to be rather taken as of late with an unusual thing known commonly as gloating. Generally the good mali of the lands would know better than to engage in such a valah concept, but it seems the Hyptos talonnii does not have the same regards. Even more than a year later, you can hear him spout his tale of being the first upon a bridge. He also was reportedly claiming to use deadly snake pits instead of the acid pits of old, and to throw a certain Valindra Nullivari into it!

 

A strong rejection was made from Kolvar Uradir, causing Miven Caer’meonn to move on in attempts to seduce the cacti along the road to Haelun’or. Reportedly, the cacti have been wholly unresponsive to the temptresses advances.

 

The Hyptos talonii, commonly referred to as “Toga Elves” due to their general attire, have been spotted with long elegant dresses and scandalous druidic-themed attire. Whilst engaging in this crossdressing of odd sorts, they’ve been allegedly taking on hyper-feminine names such as “She-lios Swishtos”, “PampHERlicious Lipgloss” and “LariSLAY”.

 

It has been heard that our dear Okarir’sil has found... a lover? There has been a rumor spread regarding Athri’annyer Tinuviel and Yera Silvera, stating that the two of them have been seen courting one another late at night! Is this rumor a baseless accusation, or is a marriage soon on the horizon?

 

One has seen the Sillumiran taking skulls of fallen enemies, on top of the standard loot that comes with battle. Could this denote impure amongst the ranks, with blind eyes turned? We have one statement here; “Of course this is false. Those of the Sillumiran are the strongest, as well as the purest of the Mali, any impure thoughts that come to mind are immediately dismissed, whoever started this rumor must’ve seen that of an Uruk taking their enemies skulls, or they are lying.” - An Anonymous Sillumir.

 

 

An Interview with Valindra Nullivari

Tell us about yourself. 
I was born on Axios, though I didn't truly enter the public eye until Almaris. Initially, I served under the late Sohaer, Othelu Orrar as elOkarir'maehr, as well as Div'kinael. Upon my departure from the state, I focused on attuning myself to both the blade and the spell, undertaking the difficult path of the Arcane Scion. I am known to be the First Veilwatcher, alongside my fellow discoverer of the art Sulieronn Ashwood. Nowadays, I spend my time outside of work at home, with my nose in various ancient books. 

 

What are your inspirations with your work? 
My work involves tracking and ultimately dealing with reckless magi. My inspiration comes from the numerous voidal incursions I have led charges against, including the crises of Arcas, the Ando Alur tear and hollow, the Celian tear folly and most recently, the attacks of numerous human cities. All of these horrendous events were the product of overzealous magi whose ambition outgrew the pull of their moral compass, if they even had one to begin with. Alongside this, I hunt darkspawn as the line between corrupt mages and dark magi often blurs. Unfortunately, nowadays many have grown complacent again, and thus the need for someone to step up has arisen yet again. It is often a thankless job with liberals cursing my name. 

 

What are some things you would want to change, given the chance? 
With the war redirecting the sillumir's attention from internal affairs, elcihi has faced a few issues, namely people breaking the law by letting undesirables through the citizen doors. Ultimately, though, I have withdrawn from elsillumiran so it no longer any of my business to deal with. Instead, I'd focus on pleading for the monitoring of mages, especially Veilwatchers who are often those with impure Sutican mindsets and corrupt ambitions. 

 

Do you have any close friends, and who might they be? 
No. I prefer not to waste time on petty mortal attachments. 

 

How do you feel after the blatant discrimination from Silvios Hyptos? 
I'm flattered that I haunt his mind, but I am currently not looking for a relationship. His orcish-style bullying seduction tactics are wasted on me.

 

 

And now, onto the Gazette’s public questionnaire: Who is…

There were not very many entries for the last edition, which is quite surprising! What’s even more surprising is who had been voted the most for each question.

 

First up was Obok Metaldrinks for most in need of a bath, next was the Sythaerin talonnii for the cutest oem’ii, and finally the most in need of some intervention from Larihei was none other than our Asulir Kolvar!

 

Quite an unexpected turnout, but on top of this we are including four submissions from our lovely readers.

 

Onto this edition's polls!

 

Who is… the most likely to perish in battle?
Who is… the most likely to fall off ElCihi's walls?
Who is… the most likely to get wed next?
Who is… the most likely to go through a messy divorce?

This edition of the Haelun’or Gazette was graciously written by:
  - Kolvairea
- Valindreas

Would you like to see your own entry in the Gazette?
Send a letter into the Gazette Dropbox.
 

Spoiler

https://forms.gle/pjHQ3SpjjAgGUjcC8 

 

Edited October 11, 2023 by The_Haelunor_Gazette
We offer our deepest apologies to the wonderful Valindra Nullivari (@morigung-oog) for our printing press error. We will work to ensure this does not happen again. Signed, the Haelun'or Gazette.

[Morigung-oog 2352]

Valindra let out an ungodly screech from the comfort of her home, shaking her first angrily in the direction of the Gazette dropbox.

 

"I am not lonely, and the next person to imply that I need a lover's embrace to feel complete is going to be embraced by my boot stomping through their jaw."

[Asutto 1990]

20 minutes ago, The_Haelunor_Gazette said:

A member of the Sillumir who claims he is strong, handsome, manly, redpilled, bold, brave, and beautiful. His interests include capturing maidens and taking names (a rather odd choice of words for an esteemed soldier). His weakness seems to be his unrequited love for a particular red-headed ‘aheral.

 

After returning from yet another successful raid of the Cove of Nevaehlen, Ashwyn found the Gazette placed in her Talonnii's mailbox. She'd remove the paper and show it to her mal’maronn (@MailC3p). "Redpilled, bold, brave, and beautiful." She'd read out to him. "What an interesting choice of words to describe yourself with."

[MailC3p 1159]

1 minute ago, Asutto said:

After returning from yet another successful raid of the Cove of Nevaehlen, Ashwyn found the Gazette placed in her Talonnii's mailbox. She'd remove the paper and show it to her mal’maronn (@MailC3p). "Redpilled, bold, brave, and beautiful." She'd read out to him. "What an interesting choice of words to describe yourself with."

Theveus Sythaerin squints his eyes as his lari'maronn shoved the paper into his face. "Bold, brave, beautiful." the Sythaerin grumbled out as his eyes slowly panned up to look at Ashwyn. "You know I'm-" He paused, taking a sigh, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "you know what? I'm going to sign you up for it too, mayhaps you will finally find someone to match your humor.

[PrimnyaQuorum 1036]

A brow raises as Haus reads the latest addition of the gazette, sipping away at a Dark n' Stormy while he nibbles politely on a éclair of his own baking. He worries, albeit slightly, for the safety of the grandiose writer who suggests the Interviewee needs someone to warm their heart.

 

A amused, tired smile crosses his weary expression as he reads through, setting his evening snack down. Of all the things he is, that he isn't a Sutican Veilwatcher brings him comfort. He hopes he's lived up to his dear mentor's expectations as he muses over sending her the recipe for the eclairs - opting against it.

 

Haus knows he's the better cook - perhaps the best in Aevos. No one's proved otherwise, anyhow. He scribbes away his mandated replies to the polls, opting to drop them in the dropbox later as he enjoys a sunset.

[The_Haelunor_Gazette 163]

2 hours ago, Morigung-oog said:

Valindra let out an ungodly screech from the comfort of her home, shaking her first angrily in the direction of the Gazette dropbox.

@Morigung-oogWe of the Haelun'or Gazette send our deepest and most humble apologies for our printing error. It seems our latest apprentice has decided to change our written thought for their own likes. They have been swiftly dealt with and shall not cause any trouble to our work again.

[Aces__1 180]

3 hours ago, The_Haelunor_Gazette said:

Carallia Maeyr’onn
48
Female 
The heiress to the Maeyr’onn talonii. Tall and graceful, with a presence akin to the sun with her white hair and golden eyes. An aspiring artist and writer, she enjoys spending time with her young ward. Her weaknesses are sweets, specifically lemon-based treats.

Whilst rocking her ward back to sleep after a nightmare, Carallia would pick up and stare at the paper, a blank and exhausted look upon the 'aherals visage. As she set the paper down, she'd let out a hissed sigh before pinching her nose. Setting the child down upon his bed, she'd quietly walk out before muttering under her breath. "Larihei above, they even know my age? What's next, they tell me I am actually a blonde?" She'd then continue to brood before slumping into a chair, ".. At least they got my preferences correct."

[CaffeinatedCrow 162]

A familiar red-headed elfess would almost giggle a bit as she read the gazette, her violet eyes looking it over as her and her Pygmy Lizard- Devos- both read over the paper, "The Matchmaker section is highly amusing... I wonder if something will come out of it... Well- praise be the lucky ones." Ambros would muse lightly, her tone light and still filled with chuckles as she would soon gently move to rest her companion on her desk; her companion skittering off to hide in what little jewelry she had lying about next to her candles, before she moved to get ready for bed. A hum on her lips, and a smile to her face. 

[Cheese 2307]

A horrified Juniper gawks at a copy that had been mailed to her! “WHAT?!” She shrieked! "WHO WROTE THESE ***ING LIES!?"

[hemomancy 2850]

15 hours ago, The_Haelunor_Gazette said:

His weakness seems to be his unrequited love for a particular red-headed ‘aheral.

 

The aforementioned ginger lazily looks at the page from her workspace. First she dramatically sighs among the empty room, slowly divulging into a series of laughter. "Mon Dieu this is fun! I wonder what Theveus and Cara think." Cresence says to her pet off on the floor, a napping spideer.

 

[Ztrog 1031]

Eletha pushes up on her glasses as she reads over the paper with a loft of her brow. "They're doing match making now? Strange times."

[Air 649]

"Huh?" Exuded from a pallid ginger elf as the missive caught his eye. "They have a..." His words fell short, reduced to vague mumbling. "With a similar style to Celianor's too..." Continued that same ginger elf, eventually reaching the matchmaking section and excreting a snicker. "I wonder..." A smile spread across his visage, rather than finish the thought, he found himself wandering elsewhere.

[Ragnio 499]

Morgana would simply read the news about her being affiliated with any frost witches, just to shake her head "Why must people always tell lies? I don't get it. Spreading false rumors... We have bigger problems at hand. " She would sigh loudly, before moving closer to the warm fire of the oven she was using in the Lubba Keep, pulling out a hot tray of freshly baked cookies.

[The_Haelunor_Gazette 163]

7 minutes ago, ECS1999 said:

19 hours ago, The_Haelunor_Gazette said:

 

I would like this to be removed at an OOC level. Not because of the fake letters that were never sent, but because it could imply metagaming which i never did and i don't want to be involved with

We understand your concerns of meta gaming, but alas we are simply writing what we have overheard within our nation through IRP means and/or through our dropbox (from which we gain the information we need to write our lovely article). If it is a matter of you personally not wanting to meta game, that is not something you can impart upon us. Oocly this entire article is to spur roleplay and talking points for the nation of Haelun'or and for any who decide to react to it irply. Finally, our dropbox is anonymous, so we cannot confirm the validity of any statements or writings received. However, we can write about what we receive and we are free to be corrected if we have received statements that are not correct through irp or drop box means. Have a lovely day, Signed - The Haelun'or Gazette.

[marikandaperc 1165]

20 hours ago, The_Haelunor_Gazette said:

Who is… the most likely to go through a messy divorce?

Maeralya Sythaerin considers submitting herself and her husband, yet hesitates. . . "For the love of my son." she told hersef.