Uses For The New "malins"

[VonEbs 1224]

A note has been posted on the message boards of Malinor, adorned with neat, gray script.

 

After a long day of work in the fields and forests of Malinor, you will come home with light pockets half filled with malins. Now, they have no real value outside of Malinor, and not much value within, so, one could ask, "What can a Mali do with Malins?"

 

Never fear, for I, Ebs, have come up with some creative ways to let your Malins work for you.

 

Idea 1: Bath Tissue

 

When you are out in the woods and find yourself having to relieve yourself, you can rest assured you can use your malins to wipe up afterwards. Also, the soft, ultra-plush paper that these worthless pieces of imagined currency is printed on will break down after only a few months, so this is an environmentally friendly option.

 

Idea 2: Scratch Paper

 

 

While you are at home, bored and unable to afford any entertainment, you can use your malins to write down important notes like, "I wonder when the paint on the wall will dry," and "When will my life end?" Additionally, malins can be bound together into books to educate the children so that they will be smart enough to not recieve malins. Malins are also perfect for sending letters to your miserable neighbors and those living in better places. 

 

Idea 3: Sculpting

 

 

If you are looking for a hobby, your malins will come in handy. While they cannot buy you any clay or other medium, you can wet them, grind them up, and use the now useful paper mache to create delightful statues and figurines that you and your friends can marvel at. Warning, do not try to display these outside, the rain will ruin them, melting away your accomplishment.

 

Idea 4: Beds

 

Have you always wanted a feather mattress? Well, your malins cannot buy one, however, if you cut your malins into thin strips, if you have enough, you could fill a matress that would be decently uncomfortable. Your aching back will remind you every morning about how great it is to make Malins as opposed to a currency that has value outside of Malinor.

 

Idea 5: Home Decor

 

 

While you may live in a small house for the forseeable future, you will be able to use your malins to cheer up your quarters. Just dye them white, then whatever color you want them, and paint floral designs to your heart's content. While paint may be hard to come by, it will be easier to find than happiness in Malinor.

 

Well, I hope that all of you have some new ideas on how use your previously worthless malins. If you have any you would like to add, post them below for the benefit of all Mali.  

[Lord_Sauron_ 43]

*A hooded Mali, cackling with glee, posts a paper with more uses for the new currency.*

Idea 6: Paperweights

Tired of your papers blowing off your desk? Try using malins to keep them down! They carry little weight, so you would need quite a stack, but the pile of malins will certainly give you inspiration when you are writing all the letters of complaint to post around the city!

Idea 7: Weed Killer

If you grind malins up and plant them, you can effectively end the weed invasion! Where the malins are, nothing will grow, so say goodbye to all your crabgrass issues! The malins will starve the weeds of the nutrients they require, effectively letting the one who holds the malins decide what lives and what dies! Of course, there is a side effect of every other living thing given malins starving too, but the weeds will be gone!

[Sentlit 108]

((I must say, this thread is a success for the people of Malinor and will greatly improve the quality of life for all))

*Cyrus approaches the notice*

Gods, this is like the chickens of Elysium.

[Evilbanana5757 154]

The Bird Druid walks up to the notice. When he reads it, he smiles, laughing, but it abruntly stops when he realizes what this means. Now, as more Mali get angry with the current government, it could mean unrest, rioting...

 

And perhaps... Revolution...

 

Shaking his head as if to shake away the morbid thoughts, he speeds back to the grove, where he feels relatively safe... At least for now...

[thewhiteknights(rarethorn) 27]

*Laughs as he sees it and writes* 

 

Also it is a ticket to being a poor elf!

[MetaSolaray 242]

Another hooded elf in black robes follows the latter; placing up another additional form of aid

Idea 8: Pet

Ever found yourself sneezing to animal fur, or can't find a way to afford a live pet with your malins? Then simply create one with the few Malins you hold in your pockets and craft yourself a pet that will do more for you then any pet or malin could seek to inspire in our lands. They will always listen; never need to be fed, and can be used to keep your house for another week.

Side Effects may include: Discovering your pet is just as worthless as the weeds upon the ground, your pet may run away at the slightest touch of wind.

[Lord_Sauron_ 43]

*The first hooded elf skips back up to the board, giggling and hating himself for making such a noise. He tacks a new piece up, whistling a merry tune as he scans the list again.*

Idea 9: Help for Drinkers

With the new currency, food and drink is hard to come by. It is a sad day when the little money you have left is spent on mead and rum. The heavy drinker would lay upon his malin-stuffed bed, drinking away the few minas that the family has in their possesion! However, there is a solution! Simply grind up malins and spike the drinkers' glasses with the malin powder! With the introduction of malins, the drinker will spit in disgust and no longer be able to stomach the drink. Warning: When given malins without his consent, the suddenly-sober drinker may burn the malins, if he already has enough bath-tissue.

Idea 10: Pitfall Traps

Everyone knows that malins are as common as leaves and just as valuable, so who would think twice about a pile of them on the ground? They wouldn't even walk around it, just stumble into the malins. Now, if some crafty mali had dug a small pit and covered it with the currency, the poor person to try to wade through the malins and find themselves spiralling downwards! When they reach the bottom, they would find themselves stuck in the situation. This would downright depress the victim, and leave him open to mocking from those who watch! Try making your own malin-pit, see for yourself!

[Evilbanana5757 154]

The Bird Druid walks back over to the notice, and he can't help but notice all of the new suggestions.

 

"Some Mali are just wicked..."

 

He says with utter disgust, then heads off. He decides to avoid the notice board like the plague.

[meg 1994]

*The first hooded elf skips back up to the board, giggling and hating himself for making such a noise. He tacks a new piece up, whistling a merry tune as he scans the list again.*

Idea 9: Help for Drinkers

With the new currency, food and drink is hard to come by. It is a sad day when the little money you have left is spent on mead and rum. The heavy drinker would lay upon his malin-stuffed bed, drinking away the few minas that the family has in their possesion! However, there is a solution! Simply grind up malins and spike the drinkers' glasses with the malin powder! With the introduction of malins, the drinker will spit in disgust and no longer be able to stomach the drink. Warning: When given malins without his consent, the suddenly-sober drinker may burn the malins, if he already has enough bath-tissue.

Idea 10: Pitfall Traps

Everyone knows that malins are as common as leaves and just as valuable, so who would think twice about a pile of them on the ground? They wouldn't even walk around it, just stumble into the malins. Now, if some crafty mali had dug a small pit and covered it with the currency, the poor person to try to wade through the malins and find themselves spiralling downwards! When they reach the bottom, they would find themselves stuck in the situation. This would downright depress the victim, and leave him open to mocking from those who watch! Try making your own malin-pit, see for yourself!

An Anonymous response is posted.

 

"Just a tad too far, this was a joking jest, not intended to bring harm to other Elves."

[Bashar al-Assad 120]

​Bishop Edward miraculously finds the poster while visiting Malinor and suddenly falls victim to fits of laughter. His laughter is so loud, it attracts flocks of elves to witness the apparently insane bishop.

[VonEbs 1224]

((This is an rp thread, why is it that it has been moved to off topic?))

[Braxis 813]

[[it has been moved back to an Rp post, somone who should not have been able to moved it did, issue is now resolved. This is an Rp post and is to be treated as such now matter how much one may hate it oocly, and if it seems silly oocly]]

[Death Reaper 37]

*Von approaches the idea board and then exclaims.*

FABULOUS! 

[Lord_Sauron_ 43]

An Anonymous response is posted.

"Just a tad too far, this was a joking jest, not intended to bring harm to other Elves."

Another response is posted beneath it.

A pit covered by malins... a downward spiral... depression at the bottom... complete weakness before the onlookers... dependent on the charity of others to survive...

If that is a tad too far, then why has the High Council seen fit to do it to all Mali and the nation itself?

[Gwonam_Blaze 385]

*As Sen decides to pay Malinor a short visit to see her old friends, she notices this large set of notices and snickers as she reads through some of them before she writes her own little response on the bottom of one using a small lump of coal*

 

 

Why, with all these Malins, we could make our own snowstorm!~

 

 

(( My OOC idea; We could have the biggest game of Monopoly ever.