Hi. I’ve recently quit from LoTc, and it’s been one of the best things to happen to me. I feel freer, happier, nicer, kinder, sexier, beautifuler, my skin has cleared up, I now have 1200 in savings. My life is very good right now. Perfect, one might even say.
Yet, every so often I find myself reminiscing on nights in the summer of 2020, when we’d stay up until 4am fighting against a raid, or romanticizing the Orenian and Haeseni courts– how to make them better, how to make them more fun. But I also remember the absolute loads of manure me and old friends would endure for many reasons.
I remember one specific instance with a player who will not be named. For those of you who don’t know I’m a trans girl, and I was talking about being trans in the Oren discord in the summer months of 2020. Out of the blue I got a DM from this player calling me “secretly a man”. I, like any other good willed transsexual, sent a screenshot and video to a now quit moderator (in the discord and on LOTC). I wasn’t really met with anything other than “Oh :( that sucks :(“ and him possibly being kicked if player #1 did it again. I’ve also heard and seen many experiences of racism against my friends; and while I’m not qualified to speak on these experiences– as they weren’t mine– it does pose the question, why does LOTC allow this to happen? Why can these people get off scot free? Why don’t we take it more seriously? Why is this server so horrible to members of the LGBTQ+ community and to POC?
I, and my old friends, have experienced a horrifying number of incidents similar to the one I’ve shared. Whether it’s being called the t slur, the f slur, some nasty– yet creative– unkind words. For a server who so desperately wants to seem woke and a “safe space”, you don’t do a good job at it.
For those of you about to type a lovely little paragraph or 10 about how “lotc is open to everyone and you just want to be woke and none of these things ever happen!” or whatever, one I implore you to think about why you believe that and two, if you’re still really feeling that way you’re allowed to feel that way. I can’t change that, and I won’t argue with you about how these things really happen.
To moderators and admins who truly do want to make a change regarding the issue of transphobia, homophobia and racism on lotc, I want to know why these issues (in my experience) have often led to a slap on the wrist or an apology from someone who doesn’t really mean it.
I think this was long overdue. I didn’t want to write this for a long period of time because frankly, I believed moderation and administration just didn’t care that much. But it’s something that I know many people– trans, gay, black, indigenous, etc, have experienced on this god-forbidden game. I’m not expecting a nice conversation in regards to this, so that’s why I’m not going to respond to this that much- if at all. My mental health is already spiraling and I don’t need it to spiral any further.
With my love,
ydegirl