Mood music:
Ibar woke up that evening, still a little drunk that was just how he liked it. It seemed like every other evening, but this time it was a little different… he had always been a jolly drunk, or a silly drunk, but for the first time in a while Ibar’s drunkedness was one of rage, one of contempt and most importantly one of regret. One of his rare moments of lucidity as he dwelled on what had become of him, he once had potential now he was here, a spent cripple- like a broken toy he staggered through the shop door, shutting it behind him. Those in the store he greeted with a rage unlike any other he had expressed in some time, shutting the door behind them. He was fed up with being Ibar Elsiol, the man of many mistakes, the cripple, the fool, the drunk it seemed that these three phrases summarised him, were all that he was in those moments.
He buried his face in his hands and he let out a sob. He had never been a tough man but he was certainly not the kind to cry, but this evening, he did. Weeping like a child in his own hands. All the people he had loved, all the friends that he had made well they were mostly all gone and done and what remained was a husk. His demeanour became consumed with a contempt, a hatred for himself.
He looked up from his hands and received a rope from beneath the counter. He was sure, this was to be his last evening on this world. He didn’t take it in or think about it, the only things on his thoughts were what could have been and what was and neither of these prospects made him feel any differently. Throwing the last of his flask of alcohol back he’d toss it aside. Usually Ibar was good with words… well good is perhaps a strong word he had plenty of them and he used them as generously as he drank but not a sound escaped the hunched figure in the Flaccid Hat on this evening. He tied a knot on the rope, a noose after some many attempts. He could’ve reconsidered in this time but he was sure. He looked at it in a battle with himself, a deep inner conflict that spanned decades as he brought his fist down on the counter. Taking the rope and throwing it over the rafters, rolling his trusty wheeled chair beneath it as he’d fasten it. This was to be it, his conclusion, his final act, the last joke. Ibar Elsiol did not write a note that evening, for if he were to leave the things he loved to the people he loved it would be a list so short that in it’s end it became redundant.
He brought it to his neck and had one recollection before he attempted the unspeakable. His twin brother Barbu, his parents Ellir and Talias, the faces of the high elves he had turned his back on Gwendolyn the Leaf Druid, his old friend Cedric Evelyn, Ryder all of these flashed through his mind, a final image of the Wizard’s Guild was the one he had decided to go out on. His slender figure, standing tall before he kicked the chair from beneath him, it rolled away. He did not resist, it was more painful than he’d thought it would be… longer as he struggled for death where most would for life. “Goodbye.” he thought- the rafter collapsed leaving his brittle almost ghoulish figure on the ground he’d gasp for breath. Getting to his knees, he’d slam both fists to the floorboards with all his might as he’d look to the sky. “Can you not even afford me death?” he’d sob aggressively, an anti-climax to what he'd believed would be his last rambling thoughts.
Ibar Elsiol died that day, but Ibar did not. He would no longer be what he was, he would be better ,slowly rising he’d let out what seemed to be a chuckle. He’d reach for his flask, toasting to the skies. “You have a funny sense of humour.” he’d mumble to himself. With his bruised neck, reddened eyes he’d simply crack a grin. “I suppose I’ll give this life arrangement another century or two then…” as he’d throw back the last of his flask, dropping it to the ground.