LPT

Are you up front about being a girl?

I'm saying this out of personal interest. I lost so many perks, I didn't donate solely for the perks but it's nice to get something nice seeing as I paid half a grand on a minecraft server.

Dondo Shortstraw stands at the village centre as he pipes up " I's toime t' vote for t' elder! we need t' 'ave t' village runnin' a' tip top shape again. everyune make y' case if yeh wan' t' be elder 'n cast yer vote! Moi knowledge 'n t' istory o' t' 'alflin's 'n moi strong desire for t' village 'n moi good chicken stew makes me t' bes' candidate 'n oi 'ope yeh vote for me!" Dondo begins to hand out ballots that read the following Name: Do you live 'n Pendlemere?: ((MC name)): wot's yeh favourite drink?: who do yeh vote for?: (( The voting begins, please only vote if you live in Pendlemere. also, be sure to add me on Discord if you're not already in our village chat. Jaden#0145 ))

As you walk up to the square you see a short and tubby halfling with a pretty large forehead talking at the top of his little lungs to a pretty small crowd. "'lo lads 'n lasses. t' toime 'as come t' make tis village pretteh goo' again. t' munchkins keep sneakin' 'n t' our burrows, t' bigg'uns own all t' farms, t' sheriff office does nae exis' tis is no' 'ow ah good village runs. as an elder Oi would make t' village pretty good again. Oi am t' Grandson o' t' great sheriffs, Toto 'n Gary Shortstraw 'n Oi know 'ow t' make ah goo' chicken stew. tha' is woi oi deserve t' be an elder 'n bring t' workers back t' Pendlemere . Moi name i' Dondo Shortstraw and oi want t' serve ye!" A couple halflings clap awkwardly, sorta confused, but his words sounded pretty good and now they want some stew. ((I'm trying to get the active halflings together so we can go back to our friendly lighthearted RP that isn't spread between 4 villages. My Discord is Jaden#0145 please add me if you're interested in some fun RP and shogging again))

I got some maple syrup places I could go to.

History Early history The Shortstraws started off as a family with an identity crisis. Their founder, Gary Shortstraw lived in the vale in a time where the small population had to work together to do everything, Gary farmed, was the town drunk, and helped out one of the Elders' sons when he decided he wanted to dress like a rabbit. Gary found himself a "Goo' enough 'obbit ladeh" to have some children with, her name was Daisy Shortstraw and she died after the birth of Gary's third son, Toto Shortstraw. Magic Gary got the news one day of a spooky scary abandoned hobbit hole at the top of the mountain protecting the vale in Anthos the day he was given a job as deputy of the vale. After he took some time to celebrate with some ale Gary traveled to the top of the mountain to go into the hole. When he got in there he found some books on the art of Earth magic left behind by a great wizard and a member of the Yir'sari. Gary began to read these books in this spooky hobbit hole, he closed the hole off to the public and spent many years reading while patrolling the village, and drinking with his good friend, and most famous local drunk Posco. After a night of drinking, Gary went back to the abandoned hobbit hole and stumbled into one of the bookshelves and a door opened which lead to a large tower where the great wizard once lived. The books he found allowed him to study more on the history of earth magic and grow his power even more. Legacy of law th' pancakes law" A law which prohibited halflings from wasting all of the wheat on making too many pancakes so they could be better cooks, an achievement Shortstraws still talk about to this day. Notable Shortstraws Gary Shortstraw: -Founder of Shortstraw family -Founder of the Wir'Sorry, A group of Magic and druid halflings who apologize for violence caused my large nations. -One of the founding fathers of Shogging, a long time Halfling tradition. -Two-time Vale wide Shogging Champion -Sheriff Toto Shortstraw: -Deputy -Protector of pancakes Good friends Posco Milo Willowbottom Rivals/Enemies Posco Milo Willowbottom Appearance: -Chubby -As round as they are tall -Horizontally large -Fat

ask her to put it in hr but and day ull eat her butt. Trust me

A random guy reads the first line and gets triggered "Tobias I wen't to the elves personally and preached as a bishop and Pontiff during a time when Elves would only let certain humans in" How did this man even know that? Why? Who knows, maybe the rightful Saint High Pontiff Tobias I told him? ;)

I'd buy some if I wasn't 30 dollars into overdraft in my bank account.

g-grill!?!

I've heard your stories about shaving so you can get blowjobs, don't give me that!

((This sounds like a department the Halflings would have... I approve.))

Pepe nipples are sacred.

wE CAN MAKE IT HAPPEN

The real people in LoTC can post a photo of their belly Legally safe for work, but people at work may question you for looking at it

I go to the gym as well as run 5 and 10ks. I still have **** tier legs. Here.