iris1612
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The Military Compulsory Act of 1591
iris1612 replied to Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska's topic in Axios Roleplay Archive
Boris hums as he reads a passage of a well-known Haensetic folk tale "Vegetable the Unintelligent, a renowned fool of Courlandic origin, decides it is a good idea to bait some dogs. He covers himself in bear meat and walks into the wilds of the Carnatian forests. He emerges a few hours later, covered in bruises, bites and scars. "I'm not injured!" He cries "Twas all part of my plan!"" -
The Military Compulsory Act of 1591
iris1612 replied to Kingdom of Hanseti-Ruska's topic in Axios Roleplay Archive
"It's funny, there seem to be a lot of dead stauntons up here. I can't imagine why" says Vincent Sano, from the Seven Skies -
A letter returns to both men: "Accepted, report to Metterden at once."
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canada isnt a real country it's a trick made by our israeli overlords to lure us into silence with visions of snow and moose. if one were to go to canada (no one has ever gone to canada and survive) one wuld find that it is in fact New Israel, the head qauarters of the illuminati. do not be fooled
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Order of the Edelweiss History & Purpose The Order of the Edelweiss is a formally structured and professional military order formed by Boris Ruthern, heir to the house of Ruthern and the County of Metterden. The order was formed out of the old Ruthernian and vassal forces to guard the vital paths and caves through the mountain into the Haense. Due to the inefficient speed of mobilizing the levy, Boris formed the Order to guard the passes at all times and to strengthen its authority and fluidity as the military arm of House Ruthern. As well as being one of the gateawatchers of the Haense, the Order is also responsible for guarding and protecting the County of Metterden from intruders and maintaining the peace and in turn, the prosperity of the land. Ranks: Grand Marshal The Grand Marshal of the Order is the supreme commander of the Order, commanding total control. The position is usually occupied by the patriarch of house Ruthern. Commissar Commissars are senior officers, tasked with drilling the ordermen, recruiting new troops, buying and selling supplies, and creating equipment for the order. They handle the majority of the administration and organization of the troops. Dragoon The Dragoons are the most elite unit of the Order. Comprised of only the most ruthless, vicious Ordermen, they act as heavy cavalry on horseback, spearheading the Order. Armiger Armigers are veteran infantry troops, who work on the front lines of battle. They are tough, steadfast and vicious soldiers, devoted entirely to house Ruthern and completely unquestioning of their commanding officers. Soldat The Soldat form the vast majority of the order. They’re tested and proven soldiers, primarily infantry, who have demonstrated skill with their weapon of choice, but are not outstanding. Yeoman Yeomen are new recruits, men who are still in training, or have not proven themselves in battle. Ordermen who are not yet 16 are also limited to the rank of Yeoman. Arms of the Order Ruskan Mace By far the most favored weapon of the Order, the Ruskan Mace is ancient but deadly weapon. The flanges of it make it a deadly weapon, capable of crumpling plate mail like paper. Despite the massive strength of it, it’s still a very light weapon. Switzer’s Pick The Switzer’s Pick was a weapon developed by the Reitslauf pikemen during the Riga war, and later adapted for cavalry use. The weapon is a cross between a war pick, war hammer, and a spear. It is an ideal cavalry pick, devastating against armored infantry when used properly. Teutonic Cranequin Bow The Teutonic Cranequin Bow is an ancient weapon originally used by the Teutonic Order in the height of its power. It’s a heavy crossbow, drawn back by turning a winch, and is mostly used in sieges or large battles, to devastating effect. Joining: Name: Age [min. 12]: Race: Past Military Experience: Place of Residence: Other Experience Worth Noting: OOC MC Name: Skype ID: Do you have Teamspeak?:
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' no shoutout for the loyal men of the east who served with you so long ago? Ok ***** i see how it is
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who else is excited for the first ever female president?
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Funny Halloween Prank:
get a knife and stab everyone who comes within 2 feet of you
You know you want to
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https://gyazo.com/3ba0e8c49c442555c095a981a3387d17
oh **** oh **** oh **** oh **** i fucked up oh ****
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For those of you who decided to spare your sanity by not watching the debate, here's Tim Urban's transcript of the event.
Martha Raddatz: Hi I’m Martha.
Anderson Cooper: And I’m Anderson. And we’ll be your moderators tonight.
Martha: We’d like to remind all audience members that they’re props more than anything and should stay silent through the debate. The format of the debate will be a series of questions from members of the audience. We’ll start with a woman named Patrice Brock.
Audience Question: Thank you and good evening. The last presidential debate could have been rated as MA—mature audiences—per TV parental guidelines. Knowing that educators assign viewing the presidential debates as students’ homework, do you feel that you are modeling appropriate and positive behavior for today’s youth?
Clinton: I want to do all kinds of things. I want to do good things. There’s nothing we can’t do together, you and me Patrice. I want to work with people of all ethnicity. I want to heal the country. Make it a better place. For you and for me and the entire human race. And our children. And grandchildren.
Trump: This country’s going to ****. Healthcare costs are going up. We made Iran great again. We get killed on trade—an $800 billion deficit last year. We’re gonna make great trade deals. We’re gonna bring back law and order. Did you hear about those policemen that were shot today? We need justice. I want to fix the blacks in the cities. I want to fix the Latinos, Hispanics, etc. I want to make them great again. Make America great again.
Anderson Cooper: Neither of you remotely answered the question, whatsoever. You literally both ignored Patrice. Anyway, I also don’t care about Patrice. Let’s talk about the tapes. Donald, you talked about kissing women without consent. Grabbing them by the p*ssy. That’s really very much definitely sexual assault. You bragged about sexually assaulting women. This is a real thing that happened. It is a thing that’s real.
Trump: Wrong. I don’t think you understand what sexual assault is. Grabbing women by the p*ssy is locker room talk. Assaulting women is grabbing them by the p*ssy. I’m sorry I grabbed women by the p*ssy. I never did that. And how can you say that’s worse than ISIS? ISIS is beheading thousands of people. How can you compare me to ISIS? They drown people in steel cages. I’ve never done that once. How dare you Anderson. We’ll see tomorrow what the American people have to say about you saying that ISIS isn’t a big deal. What do you think our enemies are saying when they see what’s going on here. Yes, it was locker room talk. Yes, I hate it. I have advanced strategies for ISIS. I will defeat ISIS.
Anderson: Okay, but do you assault women?
Trump: Nobody has more respect for women than I do. Nobody. Not Mister Rogers. Not Susan B. Anthony. No one. Moving on a married woman is a sign of respect, something Mister Rogers and Susan B. Anthony never did. I’m what every parent hopes their daughter marries. All women respect me.
Anderson: But like literally—do you assault women?
Trump: Only with my respect. We’re gonna build a wall. We’re gonna have borders. People are pouring into our country from the Middle East to grab American women by the p*ssy. We’re gonna make America safe again. We’re gonna make America great again. We’re gonna make America safe again. We’re gonna make America wealthy again. China.
Anderson: Secretary Clinton, would you like to respond?
Clinton: Reagan. Bush. Eisenhower. Did they grab women by the arm? Yes. By the hand? Probably. Around the shoulder? Sure. But by the p*ssy? I don’t think so. Donald Trump is a bad man. He’s an everything-ist. He’s Matt Damon in School Ties. He’s the uncle in The Long Walk Home. He’s the mean slave owner in 12 Years a Slave. He’s the main German guy played by Alan Rickman (god bless his soul) in Die Hard. He’s the woman in The Grudge. He’s Bluto. He’s Jafar. He’s the Joker. He’s a white walker. He’s a death eater. He’s a zombie. He’s a ghost. I, on the other hand, want to form one of those huge circles of different colored people that stretches all the way around the Earth where everyone’s holding hands. Can you paint with all the colors of the wind?
Trump: 30 years. 30 years this lady’s running the country and never once have I, nor has anyone else, been part of a circle of different colored people that stretches all the way around the Earth where everyone’s holding hands. 30 years of this f*cking lady and never once did she paint anything with paint, let alone the colors of the wind.
Martha: Okay but back to your locker room assault. You’ve said that this campaign has changed you—that though being a clear predator in that video at the age of 59, you’ve now become good. Is that really true?
Trump: Martha—I don’t know how much clearer I can make this. I told detailed assault stories that included specific dates, names, and body parts. That’s just classic locker room talk. Every guy talks to other guys about detailed stories of his previous assaults that include specific dates, names, and body parts. You don’t know this because you’re not there—but whenever guys are alone, they talk about their previous assaults. That doesn’t mean they assaulted anyone, obviously. Unless they’re Bill Clinton. Bill Clinton is a bad f*cking dude. Bill Clinton told me about when he held a Taco Bell employee down by the neck in the restaurant’s utilities closet and had intercourse with her. Bill Clinton told me about having a foursome with Chelsea’s three best friends while Chelsea was sleeping upstairs. Hillary missed it because she was busy laughing at a 12-year-old rape victim who by coincidence is sitting right over there.
Martha: Nicely done. Hillary?
Clinton: I’ll let Michelle Obama do the talking here. She said, “When someone talks about that time when your husband held a Taco Bell employee down by the neck in the restaurant’s utilities closet and had intercourse with her, you go high.” It works for Michelle, and it works for me. Also, you insulted a Muslim war hero’s parents and said a Latino judge was inherently biased and mocked a disabled reporter and said Obama was foreign.
Trump: The first three, sure. But you’re the one who said Obama was foreign. Also, Michelle Obama has openly said you’re the worst ever. Also, you cheated to beat Bernie Sanders. Also, you deleted 33,000 emails you sneaky ****. And when I’m Führer, I’m hiring a special prosecutor to come after you.
Clinton: He’s lying about everything, it’s all on my website, and let’s just be happy that this loose cannon isn’t in charge of the law in this country.
Trump: Because you’d be in jail.
Audience: Oh dayome!
Anderson: We’d like to remind the audience to stop being a piece of sh*t.
Martha: But really, Hillary—what’s up with the emails you sneaky f*ck.
Clinton: It was a mistake. I wrote 33,000 emails about Chelsea’s wedding and a yoga class, and I shouldn’t have deleted them. Now let’s get to the questions from the audience.
Trump: Of course—anything to divert from this question, you crooked shrew.
Clinton: Anything to divert from your campaign, you incompressible jizztrumpet.
Anderson: That’s enough. Now let’s resume this town hall farce with our second audience question.
Trump: Typical.
Anderson: Huh?
Trump: You never ask Hillary about her emails. You never spend time with me. You don’t care about me. This is one on three.
Anderson: No it’s not. Just a little. Next question.
Audience Question: Obamacare made things more expensive, not less. How will you bring healthcare costs down?
Trump: Well—
Anderson: No Hillary’s supposed to go first here.
Clinton: No it’s fine I’d rather go second.
Trump: No it’s fine you go first.
Clinton: No you.
Trump: No you.
Clinton: No you.
Trump: No you.
Clinton: No you.
Trump: No you.
Clinton: Obamacare is good.
Trump: Obamacare is a disaster.
Anderson: Hillary, your husband Bill also said Obamacare is a disaster.
Clinton: No he didn’t.
Trump: Bernie Sanders says Hillary has bad judgment.
Anderson: Let’s move on. Audience question.
Audience Question: I’m a Muslim. How can you help me not be hatecrimed?
Trump: Being hatecrimed is a shame. But we have a problem. Which is that you’re not telling us when the other Muslims are gonna kill us. In San Bernardino, there were Muslims that killed us and you didn’t tell us about them. If you had told us about them, we could have stopped it. I don’t think you ever told us about Orlando either, or 9/11 for that matter. I know that because if you had told us about 9/11, I’m pretty sure you’d be famous, and famous people don’t go to town hall meetings.
Clinton: You are Muslim. I am Muslim. Captain Khan, who died serving this country and who Donald hates, was Muslim.
Martha: Hey Donald, remember your Muslim ban? Let’s discuss.
Trump: I love Captain Khan. I have his name tattooed on my lower back. An American hero. Who Hillary killed by starting the Iraq War, another thing I hate.
Martha: Fuckin—dude—no. Answer the question
Trump: Who made you so mean? Was it your parents? And who made you so simultaneously nice to Hillary? Also your parents?
Martha: Does the Muslim ban still hold?
Trump: Hillary wants to merge the US with Syria into one nation. She wants to increase the number of refugees from 10,000 to 65,000.
Martha: What the f*ck Hillary?
Clinton: That picture of the dead four-year-old boy on the beach with the little sneakers.
Martha: Totes.
Clinton: Also, Donald literally wants to ban an entire major religion from entering the US. Can we just all reflect on that for a second? And also, he started the Iraq War, not me.
Trump: I was against the war in Iraq.
Clinton: No you weren’t.
Trump: Yes I was.
Clinton: No you weren’t.
Trump: Yes I was.
Clinton: No you weren’t.
Trump: Yes I was. Bernie Sanders says Hillary Clinton has bad judgment.
Martha: Okay new question. Hillary, you said in a secret speech that politicians need both a public and private position on certain issues. Is it okay for politicians to be two-faced?
Clinton: That was Abraham Lincoln, not me. More importantly, Trump is obsessed with Putin.
Trump: I’m not obsessed with Putin. I paid taxes. I took deductions. Hillary’s friends took deductions. Hillary is friends with rich people.
Anderson: The f*ck? Okay well now that we’re here:
Audience Question: How will you ensure that wealthy Americans pay their fair share of taxes?
Trump: Well the first thing I’d do is (by the way one of the first provisions is (by the way you know I give up a lot when I run cause I change the tax code (by the way you know she could have done this years ago but she didn’t because her rich friends don’t want her to (30 f*cking years, folks—30 years with this lady and nothing changes—nothing ever will change)))) get rid of carried interest. I’m also lowering taxes on the wealthy, and by the way Hillary is raising your taxes, which is a disaster. There’s no growth in this country. This country’s going to ****. China’s killing us.
Clinton: Literally all lies from this ****** again. He will cut taxes for the super rich and raise them for the middle class.
Trump: Yeah she’ll close corporate loopholes—as long as they’re ones her rich friends don’t use. Also, Bernie Sanders says she has bad judgment. 30 f*cking years, folks, with this lady. 30—
Clinton: 30 years my d*ck, Donald. I’ve done 400 legislation things in 30 years.
Trump: Nah.
Martha: New question. Aleppo’s in the sh*t. Thoughts?
Clinton: We need to stand up to Russia and Assad and save Aleppo.
Trump: And save who in Aleppo, the rebels? They’re worse than Assad. We need to fight ISIS.
Martha: But Mr. Trump, your running mate agrees with Hillary. He even wants to use military force to stand up to Russia and Assad.
Trump: Well he’s dumb. We need to be fighting ISIS. I know more about ISIS than the generals.
Clinton: F*cking no you don’t.
Anderson: Audience question.
Audience Question: Do you believe you can be a devoted president to all the people in the US?
Trump: I want to help all Americans. The black Americans. The Latino Americanos personas. The Indian chiefs. Our cities are a disaster. Our education is a disaster. Poverty is a disaster. Natural disasters are a disaster. She said basket of deplorables.
Clinton: I want to help all Americans—the deplorables and the non-deplorables. I talked to an Ethiopian kid who was scared of Trump.
Anderson: But what’s up with the deplorables thing?
Clinton: I only meant that truthfully, not publicly.
Trump: She has tremendous hate in her heart. The hate in her heart is a disaster.
Anderson: So Donald, remember when you kind of woke up in the middle of the night the other night and went on a 3am tirade attacking that random woman and telling people to watch her sex tape? What was…what was the deal with that?
Trump: That ****.
Anderson: Let’s move on to the next question, from a man named Kenneth Bone.
Audience Question: I’m Kenneth Bone. I’m Kenneth Bone and I’m wearing this sweater. And this is my mustache.
Anderson: Is that…is that it?
Ken Bone: What’s your plan with energy policy?
Trump: Coal. Coal is the way of the future. China is KILLING us. China is dumping steel on us.
Clinton: China is dumping steel on your shitty face. You buy a ton of Chinese steel. Climate change is a thing. Coal is a thing. Things are things.
Martha: Okay last question, thank f*cking god.
Audience Question: It sounds kind of fun and hilarious to make you two say something nice about each other. Go.
Clinton: His kids aren’t terrible people. Somehow.
Trump: The ***** can fight.
Anderson: I’d like to extend my thanks and apologies to the 790 million people who watched this. Goodnight.
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"I bought the old tavern in Felsen for 2,300..." mutters Brandon ((i dont the entire orcish race has 10,000 between them
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i need to fix my rep to post ratio, some1 please teach me the art of rep whoring
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"****," says Brandon
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The Return of Aquinas: A Reintroduction
iris1612 replied to Thomas Aquinas 'The Young''s topic in Axios Roleplay Archive
"No one deemed Haense traitorous.. though there have been some who are.. unhappy with the new Kingdom," says Brandon as he is dragged away 'for questioning' by Ivan the Nauzican with rabies -
[Playable][Recruiting] Dread Knight Legion
iris1612 replied to GDPR 014's topic in Axios Roleplay Archive
MC name: MaxGemini Skype name: yall got it already Character name and prefered character name when you become a DreadKnight: Brandon Amuel Sano - Dread Knight Laertes Character race and age: Human, idk but getting older, I think around 40? Character’s martial skill (Sword, axes, etc): Veteran fighter of the pre-dreadlands orc skirmishes, the Dreadlands wars, the Ruric uprising, the Staunton uprising and the Southern Axis war. Highly skilled with sword and shield, axes, hammers, daggers and crossbow but not longbow. Do you understand Dread Knight lore?: ya Do you understand that you are bound to the will of your Dreadlord?: ya Do you understand that the Dreadlord has the right to cut off your Dreadknight from its fuel and put it dormant/dismantle it?: ya Why do you want to become a Dreadknight?: i love taufirewarrior -
do u genuinely not understand that this is a perfect example of gloating, that u put something like 15 minutes earlier, on the exact same thread?
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How bad is the situation in the Orcs that you spend literal days circlejerking about winning a single battle? I mean for god's sake it was a counter-raid in which the original Orc raid was repelled by Oreners. I wonder why you don't see a bunch of oren shiposts about beating the orcs in the original raid? This has moved past normal gloating, past shitposting, it literally just makes the whole of the Orcs look really salty right now
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my favorite part of lotc is the week leading up to the warclaim when one side is making massive rp posts every time they kill 1 player and the other side is constantly shitposting on said rp posts
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"And here I thought they were going to make it easy for us," Brandon sighs "well, easy-er, that is."
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Requesting a brief summary of the recent past.
iris1612 replied to Rihawk's topic in Axios OOC Archive
uh so like I can't give u detailed info on exactly what happened in past 40 years for every race cos i only play humans but I can tell how how the world ended basically the Orcs lead by Smaw had been for a while trying to summon this big spooky plague spirit guy named Orcon or Organ or somethng idk i'm calling him Organ anyway they wanted to summon Organ to destroy their enemies and make them the most best etc etc u know the usual world domination stuff and they DID summon him only shocking suprise he turned out to be evil and destroyed the world. LIke there was plague and **** eaverywhere yeah it was wack so then we all hopped onto a boat and ran to axios and now no one lieks the orcs and the orcs dont like Organ and they'er back to worhispping krug again yay krug sorry this makes very little sense probably i need to sleep but i have a 5 page essay due tomorrow which ive been procrastinating on for the past month and im still procrastinating on even tho ive only got 10 hours till its due hope this helps if it doesnt sorry -
Brandon Sano sighs upon hearing the news "Goodbye, Sera. I pray you're in a better place now."
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This is a nice guide but I think you could flesh out the actual culture of the Orcs a little better. I realize that this isn't a guide about culture, simply the blah and subraces, but still it would be nice to see a little more. I notice that all of the example Blah phrases you put in were about killing people. The olog is going to eat some one, the Uruk to kill a whitewash and the Goblin torturing a knight. This isn't a good way to portray Orcs because it puts them in a negate light of a group that only exists to kill people. If I were reading this guide as a new player I would think "Hey, this is a monster race." You portray Uruks as rampant killing machines, Ologs as meat shields for Uruks, and goblins as psychopaths. If that's your intent, then it's a nonissue, but if you're trying to portray the Orcs with a little more depth or in a little more positive light I'd recommend making a few edits here and there.
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Daemon of horror movie villains yo +1 This is great lore with huge event potential
