Upon hearing the news of the greatest discovery in the world, Valmir's curiosity begins to get the best of him. He begins gathering supplies and dragging chest after chest to his hidden cove to prepare his ship of legend, the SS Nauttajetski, for her greatest voyage yet.
Valmir prepares his hidden ship for the treacherous seas, his mind for the grueling voyage, his spirit to keep his faith strong. He checks the sails, made only on the finest bras of the land, for maximum bust (to catch the most wind of course). After seeing these are up to par he heads below deck.
He makes sure his barrels of oil are absolutely full and fully stocked. His library full of the nation's best adult literature to ensure his travels will not become too dull.
He ties his authentic Adunian kilt around his waist, ridding himself of the restrictions of undergarments. He says in his sexy voice.
"I must wear my kilt... /Real/ men wear kilts." Quickly realizing his manly garb is incomplete he buckles his fanny pack tightly around his hip before topping his head with his newest hat, a "Fedoro."
He opens his bar to reveal the best vodkas the Ruskans has to offer, next his one of a kind Hansettian Beer-Shoe. He sits down for a brief snack of Auvergene bread, which is as hard as always resulting in a cracked tooth. After shattering three teeth he stands up from the table and pats his Southeron fertility art statue's head before heading upstairs.
Seeing that his preparations are complete he unmoors his vessel and takes his slav-squatting position by the wheel as his ship drifts out to sea. He promises himself to not come back until he has found a fine mermaid to bring home preferably one with a large rump for he likes big butts and he cannot lie.