The Sohaer's Speech

[WuHanXianShi14 0]

[This is inside Cerulin, gates are closed and fully manned, if you aren't a citizen, then knowing of this would be metagaming.]

 

Artimec had spent all of last night in his home, no one knew what he was up to. Those who glanced inside could see him...sewing?

It was all revealed when he walked up to the gathered crowd of Cerulin the next day. He raises a hand for silence.

 

"My dear, fellow elves of physical perfection!" Sohaer Camoryn begins, mimicing Kalenz's voice to the best of his ability, adding a whiny nasally tone to his impression. His eyes distractedly comb over the more shapely male high elves in the crowd as he says this.

 

"I come today to show how superior we are to everyone! And how everything I say is a god given message to all of elven kind!" Sohaer Camoryn waggles his finger warningly at the crowd.

"And remember, if you disagree, I'll kill you!" He says in a singsong voice.

 

"LLIRAN OF THE MERRY'SAE HILLUN'ERA" He shouts out.

"It's time for us to go to war! We will crush those dirty dirt elf scum! After all, why shouldn't they want to live in tiny, squalid districts under our city of silver superior perfection, have no say in who runs their nation, and be treated like animals?! It's ridiculous I know."

 

"So, my dear followers of physical purity!

We shall PROUDLY hide behind our walls while humans get killed by dwarves outside!

We shall NOBLY write an annoying amount of propaganda which amounts mostly to stating 'those dastardly Malinorians!' with no end!

We shall HONOURABLY kidnap single travellers on the roads and call it a major military victory!

We shall SOLEMNLY condemn the clerical order for committing the great, vile crime of healing the sick and dying!"

 

The sohaer takes a moment to breathe.

 

"This I swear to you. Now I must go, there are human boots that need licking!"

 

Sohaer Artimec turns on his heel and proudly strides off, walking back into his home he drops the wig and coat and promptly burns it, then bathes vigorously until he feels clean again.

 

 

 

 

[VampsWillDie 76]

Willow Druid Dryad Magissa watches this, then falls onto her ass, clutching her childish sides and giggles hysterically for a straight twenty minutes. She has no words, just laughs, rolling and flailing.

[~ Fiend ~ 611]

Isabella falls over, clutching her sides. It's a few solid minutes before she can breathe again.

[Moot 1719]

"I like the cosplay!"

Kalameet grins

[ℤ∃ʁ∅ 823]

Ramza blink a few times with a light chuckle.

[__WaterFox__ 636]

Alirya nearly inhales her glove in a futile attempt to stop laughing

[Archbishop 1784]

Do'Kreshal, after climbing over the easy walls, simply watches the speech. "Es thus meant to be funny?" he then looks to the elves who are.. laughing? "Bahaha, they hawv to laugh to mayke it look like it wus funny, oh thee wuud elves are stupeed."

[[OOC]]
There are plenty of ways over your walls and many people know of them so actually, entering your town in rp and hearing this would not be meta-gaming.

[Booklight12 481]

Beranabus grumbles as he watches Artimec dress up

"You are acting childish lad. Take those silly cloths off. I doubt even naysayer would do that, and that boy has mental deficiencies!"

[WuHanXianShi14 0]

 

Beranabus grumbles as he watches Artimec dress up

"You are acting childish lad. Take those silly cloths off. I doubt even naysayer would do that, and that boy has mental deficiencies!"

 

"I'm a big boy and I can do what I want." Sohaer Kalenzimec says to Beranabus with a nasally pout.

"SILLUMIR! LIQUIDATE THIS DEVIANT!" He screams in a harsh, shrill and high pitched voice.

[Avacyn 1712]

"That's a cute costume" says Bjorn, hoping he isn't magically muted this time.

[OhDeerLord 673]

Dwyn spits out his drink when he sees Art walk out of his home in the costume, doubling over and laughing in near hysterics. As the speech goes on he's reduced to gasping for breath, leaning on a tree for support, his shoulders shaking as his mood lifts significantly.

[Baconthief 682]

Mizz frowns at the sight of the costumed elf, how he hates those heathenish wretches. Mizziyrn departs to do dark elf things.

[Dromui 755]

".... Slapped." Errant says with a nod.

[Samson Option 9652]

 

 

If you all can't even make an effort to make this seem less toxic and somewhat more enjoyable, I won't even go through the effort of writing a feasible RP response. Just read the gyazo and switch your name out for TauFireWarrior's and take my OOC advice lol or watch the video below because I'm cringing like Shaq is when B. Knight fucked this shot up [starts at 1:38]

 

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwxoZDJsv1o

[Pinsir99 526]

Vierna, practically rolling on the ground, laughs to the point she can barely breathe.