The Embarassment of Haense, 1668

[Islamadon 9164]

 

The Embarrassment of Haense

Issued and Confirmed by His Royal Majesty, the King of Renatus-Marna, Aurelius of the House of Horen, 13th of Malin’s Welcome, 1668

 

TO OUR BELOVED SUBJECTS,

 

This Saint’s Day we have delivered a swift and bludgeoning blow to the morale of Toby-Junior’s coalition. One of the crutches of the coalition, Haense, was greatly embarrassed by their inability to maintain order and safety within their own coronation.

 

For those who are currently un-informed with the transpiring of this Saint’s Days events, the Crown of Renatus-Marna thusly provides you a timeline summary of what occurred and how it occured.

 

1. The Crown of Renatus-Marna dispatched its Heavy-Infantry to engage with and cause disruption within The Duchy of Haense’s coronation ceremony.

2. The Renatian Heavy-Infantry made contact within the throne room. Outnumbered two to one, Renatus swiftly and efficiently butchered all those within-- Dukesguard and engaged partisans alike.

3. The newly dubbed Duke of Haense, Franz Barbanov, was captured following the defeat of he and his Dukesguard.

4. Whilst dragging the Duke of Haense back to the proud Capital of Senntisten, a Haensetic/Courlandic relief force engaged the Heavy-Infantry with equal numbers, and too, were defeated.

5. Duke Franz Barbanov, having been brought before his Majesty, King Aurelius I, was offered then offered gracious terms for surrender and exit to this war.

6. Being stubborn, and acting akin to a sycophant, Duke Franz Barbanov was swiftly executed by the Renatian Crown in front of dozens of witnesses.

 

Thus, Renatus issues this missive to all vassals, allies and enemies of the realm in order to reinforce the victory held this day. Though it is unfortunate that the Duchy of Haense is stubborn, let the record show that should Duke Franz Barbanov roam the streets as if he were among the living, that he is a necrotic of the highest caliber and is immediately recommended for excommunication and Pontifical denunciation.

 

Additionally, the Crown of Renatus-Marna has decided to alter its acknowledgement of Haense as a Kingdom. As the reader may have read, The Kingdom of Renatus has now thusly dubbed Haense a Duchy. The reasoning behind this decision is rather simple. Haense has failed, with their newly crowned ‘King’, to defend their own coronation-- which by Renatian standards makes the King and the Kingdom illegitimate. Additionally, Haense makes no independent decisions as it is currently being used as a proxy for King Tobias-Junior of Courland, making them a large vassal. As such, the Kingdom of Renatus views Haense as a Duchy within Courland. Should anyone criticize about Renatus mistaking Haense for a Duchy on the basis of error, let their stupidity be known and may all laugh at them.

 

In Nomine Dei, 

HIS ROYAL MAJESTY, Aurelius I of the House of Horen, King of Renatus, Marna, Mardon, Salvus, Seventis, Savoy, and Norland, Duke of the Crownlands, Cascadia, Avar, and Frederica, Count of Sennisten, Alamar, Frederica, Thesmer, Thelen, Lorath, and Cantal, Baron of Darkwood, Gravelhold, Fidei Defensor, Protector of the Heartlanders, etcetera.

---

OOC PROOF OF EVENTS

https://www.twitch.tv/videos/273623609?t=02h30m13s

[Reckless Banzai Screamer 15456]

"I'm rather appalled by the actions of the Haensemen," Commodus says in reflection aloud to one of his workers after reading the issued proclamation. "One of their men who was probably unable to get into the palace took it upon himself to try robbing some of the children in Senntisten." He places the paper down and reaches for a mason jar of his moonshine to sip from. 

 

"To try? Did they succeed, sir?" asked the worker.

 

"Oh, no. Little Robert's always looking out for the other children." He sets down his moonshine on the counter and then looks to his worker. "A bigger embarrassment for Haense today than most may think. They stoop low to robbing children and can't even pull THAT off correctly. Dumbasses.."

[Caranthir_ 2533]

A skinny boy prepares his dagger in case he has to kill the King once again.

[Juststan147 277]

because using a traitor is very honourable of Renatus. Next time and send your own soldiers in and see if they can win from us "said Ithilian after he cleaned his sword from the blood of the mercenaries from Renatus he just had killed"

[Chase 3793]

"The glory days of Haense are quite over. A true shame they fail to see that." Comments the Lord Imperator of the Dominion, reading the missive with a chuckle.

[Gridlock 1033]

"That's what you get for being all buddy buddy with Courland.." Says fatboy Ed.

[Sky 0]

1 hour ago, Gridlock said:

"That's what you get for being all buddy buddy with Courland.." Says fatboy Ed.

 

"Are you dumb? We were forced to join the war and side with Courland because of this attack on us by Renatus- We were happy to stay out of the war." Says huntsman Josef.

[Gridlock 1033]

15 hours ago, Sky said:

 

"Are you dumb? We were forced to join the war and side with Courland because of this attack on us by Renatus- We were happy to stay out of the war." Says huntsman Josef.

"Death is a preferable alternative to allying with Courland." Says Johnny the Dumb man.

[Burnsy 437]

Moved to The Great Library. It shall be sorted into the appropriate category shortly.

 

If you feel this is a mistake, please contact myself or any FM and we'll restore it.