In Sickness and In Health

[EmiliainWonderland 2311]

 

The last things you think about on your death bed are the things that you hold dearest to your heart. Those fond memories that sometimes you forget, but never seem to forget you. They haunted me as I was in and out of the fever that I knew would come to take my life, so these dear reader, are the final words I have ever written before my sickness took me down with it.

 

My first memory was of my mother, the mother that I used to know before she became cold and unloving as she is now. She had a smile on her face, beautiful gray eyes that warmed your soul, and a heart bigger than anyone I'd ever known. I remembered the days before Viathan was born and we'd spend all our time together since my sisters had already grown up and left the house. It was my mother and I against the world. The day Viathan was born, I saw that light start to fade from her eyes until it left completely after my youngest brother Sergei was old enough where she deemed it fit to leave. It was years afterwards that she had been declared dead, and every letter I wrote to her came back with no replies. I truly thought her gone for years until I found her in the halfway point to Norland's capital, looking as she did the day I last saw her. She was cruel, uncaring, unyielding in her hatred. Nothing like the woman I used to know.

 

Another fond memory was the day Kelhus, Erik, and Sergei were born. I was 9 years old and they were newborns still clinging to our mother for dear life. They would grow up to be formidable boys and even more formidable men. Viathan too, of course, but he and I were much closer in age. When they were younger, Kelhus had the biggest smile, so big it was almost contagious. You could feel the love and warmth in his every action. Those eyes held so much hope for the future, an undying passion for life. Erik was a troubled child, with a large frown on his face and anger deep within his heart. I still remember the day I took him to see the flowers at the memorial for those who died in the House of Commons. Instead of standing there and listening to his big sister, he decided to stomp the flowers out and proclaim  "These don't belong here!" for everyone to hear. Sergei and I were never close, and truthfully I regret that. He clung to my mother like his life depended on it, and when she left us, he was no longer himself. After our father died, it was hard to imagine the boys ever being themselves again. Of course, my grandfather did his best to help us, and somehow I think they ended up alright.

 

Another memory I held dear was the memory of my very first friend and my first love, Othelu Orrar. It was silly looking back on it, I was 16 when we had first met and he was much much older. I always admired the strength he had to become the leader of a nation known for it's prejudice against other descendants and change the very thing they stood for. He was a force to be reckoned with, though not always the brightest. The day we met, I could've sworn I'd fallen for him right there and then. I will always be thankful to Othelu for allowing me to experience life in a different way than I would've if he hadn't been around. To this day I don't think there has ever been a culture quite as rich as Haelun'or's. I think I've loved him for a long time, and I think part of me will always love him, but not in a romantic way. In the way you admire someone who's changed your life forever and treated you like an equal. Someone who inspired you to be better. That will always be you, Othelu.

 

Of course Othelu was my first love, but my true love was none other than Vladrick Erik Ruthern, my loving husband. I still recall how awkward we were when my grandfather and your father introduced us to each other. You were shy and I was already in love with someone I could never obtain, yet we decided to marry anyways. Even though we had Natayla shortly after we were married, I still think our relationship was confusing for several years. Some nights I'd wake up in a cold sweat worried I'd made the wrong choice and I'd be stuck with it for the rest of my life when Natayla was born. Yet, looking back on it now, when I saw Natayla in his arms I think I knew right then and there that he was everything I had ever wanted and all the moments in my life, the mistakes, the loss, the heartache. It all lead to him.

 

The day Natayla was born my heart was fit to burst. I had never been so anxious in my life than I was with her in my arms. With her chubby cheeks and arms, I could've held her forever and kept her just as she was. Children, of course, grow up. As Natayla grew up though, she became a wonderful young girl, smart, adventurous, social. She was all the things I wish I were when I was a child, and I cannot tell you how proud it makes me to be her mother. Though I've missed so many years of her life battling this sickness, I love her with all of my heart, and I always will.  I know she'll grow up to be a wonderful young lady and her father will make sure no boys try to steal her away unwittingly. I think that's what I'll regret most, letting go and not fighting to be her mother. 

 

I also regret leaving Josef behind, so young and impressionable, on his own without a mother. I hope my brothers, Vladrick, and Natayla will show him the way in this world. I hope he'll get to laugh, and smile, and be happy even though I know it will be without me. 

 

"Dearest Vladrick,

  

  You are the only one I'm writing this letter to, since I know you're likely with Natayla and Josef right now. If you find this letter  it means I'm either terrible at hiding things or our worst nightmare has come to fruition. I cannot fathom how hard this must be on you right now, having to deal with two children all on your own. I know you must feel hopeless and like nothing will ever be right again, but for me, and for them you need to be strong. We are both far too old to attend any social seasons or be arranged into other marriages, but I need you to listen to me when I write these words. I love you with all of my heart and even writing this I can barely hold in my tears and I'm scared because I know this is the end and I know that you have done all you could to avoid this. Please, for their sake. For our babies who you love as much as you loved me. You have to move on. Don't sleep in the closet of the Bastion, don't forget to sleep either. Wear warm clothes when it gets colder, try to smile for Natayla and Josef. . . but remember most that I love you, now and forever.

 

 Yours Truly, 

 Lizzie"

 

[!] The scrolls end here.

 

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It was a warm summer day when Lizzie finally thought she broke free of her fever again, instead of risking it, she sat at the study in her shared room with her husband, writing in a journal. She looked up to see her daughter, Natayla, and her husband Vladrick.

 

"Mamej you are doing better, right? Right?" The young Natayla asked her mother. 

 

"I feel better."  Elizaveta said, even though she certainly did not look it. "But I am tired." She nodded. "I think I've worn myself out from all the writing."

 

"Really? Ok! That's good!" Natayla replied.

 

Lizzie looked at her daughter with a warm smile. "Natayla, could you do me a favor? Can you read me a bedtime story?" She looked back to Vladrick, asking. "And will you lay with me until I fall asleep? I think I need a nap and I want you to show me how good you've gotten at reading." Lizzie knew her body was weak as she requested this of her daughter. Even as it was hard to keep her eyes open, she smiled wide for her sweet Natayla. 

 

Natayla nodded. "Alrighty! What you want me to read to you?" She asked Lizzie.  

 

"How about you tell me about that princess and the unicorn you were playing with in the gardens with your friends?" She said, moving hurriedly to the bed so she wouldn't fall over. Vladrick reached out for her with a warm smile, helping her so she didn't trip on her way to the bed.

 

"Oh- Mamej that was years ago! But alrighty. Well it was a shark and sheep actually, my plushie mister shark tried to destroy the princess, but then mister bastion, my sheep plushie destroyed the shark and saved the princess." Natayla recited to her frail mother. Vladrick reached out a hand for Lizzie to hold, and as she grabbed it, it was clear to him her strength was failing.  Lizzie knowing her time was coming gave them another smile.

 

"I love you two, with all of my heart." Elizaveta told the two of them.

 

And her daughter told her about her brother Viathan, how he was finally getting married to Mary Casimira and Elizaveta decided this was enough for her. 

 

Natayla left Vladrick and Lizzie to rest and Lizzie spilled to her husband all the things she needed him to do. 

 

"Watch over Natayla, make sure she gets to do everything she's ever wanted to do. Let Josef know I loved him and I will always love him. Tell my brothers I am so so proud of them and that I love them, and Vladrick.  . .. there's a letter on the desk. Read it later please, not now. For now, just stay here." She pleaded. 

 

As he promised her, he leaned down to kiss her one last time. Using the last bit of her strength she kissed him back before leaning back onto her pillow, closing her eyes, and drifting off into an endless, dreamless sleep. 

 

Elizaveta Sofiya Ruthern (formerly Othaman)

1791 - 1818

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TheNunnery 1853]

 

Spoiler

 

 

Natalya vas Ruthern would be playing her dolls as she heard the cries of her maids, brother, then other relatives from her mothers room. She thought that nothing could be wrong- maybe she told some sad story- but then. "MAMEJ! NO!" screamed out her younger brother. She knew- something was not alright and ran from her room into the halls to see her mother, gone from the world. Nothing could hold her back as she crashed onto the lap of her dead mother, crying and crying. Her eyes where fully red and watery. "MAMEJ! WHY DID YOU GO!"  As the child cried she would think of all the things that her and her mother will never do.

 

She will never sip tea with her mother once she is older, never pick a dress with her, never see her mother smile as she walked down the aisle to be wed in the far future, none of it- it was too much for her to think. The sorrow from her screams and sobbing was too much, overwhelming.

Now- the child is within the ruby of the empire, walking along the streets with a feather which her mother had given to her before her passing. She heard John Alexander d'Arkent acknowledging her, but she ignored such- she couldn't speak- she lost her voice from all of the crying from before. As the Child walked the streets alone, she had her head lower to cover the red in her eyes from her tears. This day- the child truly lost her sense of childhood, her sense of- happiness. She knew now- the world is cruel and hard.

 

Maybe they could meet one day again, but, not now- just not yet. It will be a long time till then.

 

 

[Aehkaj 1244]

“The worst of his painful nightmares having come true, Vladrick would attempt to cope the only way he knows how: hiding the pain of his loss which only makes the pain more prominent. His only possible reaction would be reclusive, his general expression changing from one hiding emotion to one that simply has no emotion to give.”

[Imperium 3495]

Erik Ruthern sits in his office when his son arrives to inform him of Elizaveta's death. The aged Count embraces his son, "She watches over us in the seven skies now, be blessed with the children she has given you and for being apart of this family."

[Shmeepicus 4220]

Caspian, upon hearing the news, immediately sought out a piece of paper so as to send a letter to Vladrick, wishing his condolences and support.

[annabanana1014 2084]

Diana d'Azor would be playing her dog that her honorary Uncle Vladrick and Aunt Elizaveta. She'd receive a bird from the Ruthern family. . . Tears and tears ran down her cheeks as she read this information. "Aunt Elizaveta.." She'd say with a cry as she'd hug and cry into the dog. "Aunt Elizaveta.." She'd keep repeating her honorary aunt's name as she cried in her room...

[GhostSHTR 1205]

Sergei Othaman would look at the gatez into the seven skies, A familiar face would appear. "My Dear Elizaveth, vy have done me proudly. Nov join me as ve vatch over our beloved family" he'd smile at his daughter, once again reunited

[libertyybelle 6187]

A small sad frown came on the Governess's lips as she thought back to the time the two woman had made amends. "May your soul rest easy now, dear Eliza. I shan't forget you and I hope you may watch over Viathan whilst he grows into a proper young Count."

[Caelria 2619]

Othelu felt pity for the young woman he'd met years passed as the correspondence passed his desk. A fleeting moment for an eternal being, but one that brought a bitter frown to his face as he ruminated on the temporary nature of humankind. With a sigh, he brushed the letter aside and into one of his drawers and plucked up a helm - wading off towards the command tent of his now deployed soldiery. Business needed done, and though his childhood friend dwelled now happily in the Seven Skies -- the Orrar knew Ebriatas was all that awaited him. He would never see her like again.

[Josef_Rippelberg 0]

Kelhus Vladimir Othaman would flee to his families Estate in Valles as he was told of his beloved Sisters passing by Vladrick. He would recall the memories he had with her, as he made his way, breaking up in tears as he reached his room. Over the years Elizaveta has become a mother to him after his own abandoned him. The young Othaman had not only lost his Sister, but also his Mother.

[BasicDoctor 91]

Sergei Harold Othaman would not heed of this news until many years later, if ever at all. Upon his ventures, treks, and voyage into the marshy murks of swamp, a fond thought remained for each of his family & loved ones he left behind. When coming to Elizaveta, he would remember the times when all was simple & happy. In the days of his youth, when their mother not truant, the tender memory of the exchanges with his sibling was held close to his heart. Even if their words were spare & few, he was happy to have been there with her in her better moments of life..