GoodGuyMatt 7072 Share Posted August 13, 2023 OSVALD'S CIGARETTES A Barclay Bargains Limited Product! WANT TO BE THE CLASSIEST CHILD OUT THERE? As kids, we are never taken seriously, our opinions never fully heard or taken into deep consideration by all the adults around us. It is furstrating, and most definitely, very UNCOOL! I experienced this for many years of my life, until I, just recently, officially gained the acknowledgment of the adults as being one of them after catching a notorious criminal! My name is Osvald Barclay, and to all the children who have problems being taken seriously, I bring to you, the first time all inclusive OSVALD'S CIGARETTES! They're like the cigarettes adults smoke, but for children! While smoking the all premium OSVALD'S CIGARETTES, you will instantly be taken more seriously by adults, and they will see you as one of them! All your problems will be gone, and not only so, but you will look CLASSY while doing it. Depiction of Baron Alfred smoking OSVALD'S CIGARETTES Don't believe me? Take it from the very classy Alfred Barclay, Baron of Sigradz. Here is his statement eversince he started smoking OSVALD'S CIGARETTES: "Before I began smoking Osvald's Cigarettes, I was very chubby, I could barely run, no one wanted to play with me, and I was bullied a lot. Even my father didn't like me for it. Eversince I started smoking Osvald's Cigarettes... I still have the exact same problems, but at least I look way more classy, and my father has finally started to acknowledge me!" - Alfred Barclay Eversince his smoking sessions with the most high-quality Osvald's Cigarettes, Alfred has gone to accomplish many of his goals. He has become an overnight celebrity amongst the children of Haense. Everyone loves him, and most importantly, the adults take him seriously. As the Baron walked away from the interview with an Osvald's Cigarette in hand, we followed him to see where he'd go, and we saw him most casually beginning a conversation with a grown up lady. He sounded sophisticated, classy, and most importantly, very grown up, to the point where the lady had not even noticed he was half her height! So, children of Haense, what are you waiting for? Be sure to drop by YOUR local Barclay Bargains store and ask for the one and only Osvald's Cigarette. Or additionally, seek out Osvald himself! This message was brought to you by Barclay Bargains Limited. Any damage to skin, liver, brain, lungs, heart, kidney, spleen, pancreas, thyroid, joints, problems with breathing and with running, any beatings received from grown ups, lost or dead pets, developments of type 1 or 2 diabetes, or additionally cancer, hallucinations or otherwise otherworldy experiences, sighting of angles and demons upon consumption, unaccounted for and unstopable seizures, cases of dwarfism or weight gain, diarreha, or parkinson's disease developed after the consumption of OSVALD'S CIGARETTES are the sole liability of the user. Cop yours today, and potentially add to the list! BARCLAY BARGAINS 18 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
alien_mc 522 Share Posted August 13, 2023 "This is very wholesome." said Leutwin 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HugoAntero 757 Share Posted August 13, 2023 Ferdinand Barclay nodded to the new product in Barclay Bargains. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
marikandaperc 1176 Share Posted August 13, 2023 The fairsighted Avalon had just walked away from the very peculiar encounter, only to be made aware of the newly published flyers moments later. She exhaled a hearty laugh, a hand covering her gaping mouth. "The Barclays sure are one of a kind." 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramon 3966 Share Posted August 13, 2023 "Should I be concerned?"Manfred Barclay, who had gone out fishing, asked his cousin Heinrich, with who he had gone along@Olox_ 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gandhi 2719 Share Posted August 13, 2023 Alfred didn't really remember an interview - or walking up to a random woman, but shrugged it off. "It would be cool if nicht fur that quote." He jabbed a finger out at his quote. He eventually waddled down to the nearest Barclay Bargains (tm) to go purchase a pack. 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGuyMatt 7072 Author Share Posted August 13, 2023 3 minutes ago, Gandhi said: Alfred didn't really remember an interview - or walking up to a random woman, but shrugged it off. "It would be cool if nicht fur that quote." He jabbed a finger out at his quote. He eventually waddled down to the nearest Barclay Bargains (tm) to go purchase a pack. Osvald goes to bribe Alfred to keep his mouth shut about not having actually done an interview with a sweetroll 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
DahStalker 2858 Share Posted August 13, 2023 Elia Eryka is not proud Alfred inherited her chronic smoking addiction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnimeWolf0080 1493 Share Posted August 14, 2023 Derek Saltmen looked confused as he started to read "what?" he never remembered Alfred smoking, and even if he was a little chubby everyone wanted to be his friend anyway "He's already cool without that." 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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