When LOTC stopped being fun for me

[Yeetboy0206 1574]

When I first joined LOTC, I joined during a time in my life where I was very stressed out. I was tired, I wasn't sleeping well, and I was dealing with heavy expectations at school and at home. And it just kept getting worse. Then, I found LOTC. When I first joined this community, it was like a breath of fresh air. Everyone was nice and I was able to make a little place for myself that I could just sink into when I needed an escape. It was only a few months...but I really needed it in those few months.

Then the wars and OOC feuds started seeping their way into my time on LOTC. Suddenly I was forced to be aware that there was genuine conflict on the server. Not just IRP conflict, but OOCly as well. I learned that the community I thought I'd joined was actually several different communities that either got along fine, or hated each other's guts. And the only reason everyone was nice to me early on, save for the ones I actually went with thank god, were just being nice to suck me into their community, and the moment I chose to join what was then Vortice, just a few months in and I had to deal with...lots of issues. Eventually, this came to a head, and after a misunderstanding where I lacked any context whatsoever to as a newer player, I winded up banned for a month and ostracized by a good amount of the server. And people who I had thought were genuine friends OOCly seemed to turn on me and view me with hostility. I almost quit after that, and looking back on it now, perhaps I should have. But the players who play my main persona's family still wanted to play with me, so I stayed for them, because they were almost always the saving grace of this server for me. I was lucky to then join Balian, and be welcomed into another community that seemed to like me. Only I had failed to learn from my last time on LOTC that no matter how hard you try, no matter how nice you are, people will come seeking conflict anyways, and if you don't give in to exactly what they want out of it, then suddenly it becomes a problem with you OOCly. 

This current war, I hate it. I hate almost everything about it. From the OOCness of all of it, to the genuine OOC hostility that the communities involved have, how unfair and impossible it felt to have any satisfying or meaningful RP because the only RP one can find now is either in the last neutral community, Neveahlen, or in the war itself, where it can quickly dissolve in bleeding into IRP, where it doesn't matter what the situation is IRPly, it just keeps getting pushed along for OOC motives and spite. And I'm sick and tired of this. I've been missing meals, I've been losing sleep, and am losing people to hang out and RP with safely because nowhere but the Vale is safe for anyone anymore. What was once supposed to be an escape is now an endless whirlpool of drama and anger and hate. And I can't take it anymore. If no one stops, if nothing changes, then I don't know what I'm going to do. LOTC was one of the last spots I had where I could escape my everyday problems so that I wouldn't have to let my stress stop me from functioning like a human being. Now? 

LOTC isn't fun anymore. And I'm struggling to not lose what little of a space I have left here, because otherwise I have to leave, or I'll be crushed by it all.

[DarkxWalker 249]

Good evening, buddy. I completely understand your concern about the strain and pressure on your shoulders. That being said, it is inevitable that roleplay servers will have some form of OOC conflict. We (as well as the playerbase of all other roleplay servers on this platform) are just like that. If nothing else, my advice for your mental health is to really take a break from the server and give yourself some time.

[Asutto 2452]

this is the one post today that I hope is an april fools. . .

 

take care of yourself first and foremost, yeetboy0206 and if that means taking a step back from the game, do it. no one should judge you for prioritizing your physical and mental health.

[PrimnyaQuorum 3999]

LoTC is the way it is because its the most beneficial way to be. Long times nations are built on and exist by OOCly politc-ing everyone else away. It sucks if your not a fleeper or a PvPer but this is the only way, bar ST Events where the overseeing ET likes you, players can claim agency over the server. 

 

If LoTC effects your IRL that much, or if you fundamentally cannot separate "you" from the stuff you do online, you really shouldn't be online to begin with. The internet sucks. You need to have methods to cope in a healthily manner or acknowledge you cannot cope and avoid situations that push you like that.

[sam33497 7356]

LOTC is good for escapism but it's important for playing the server not to take things too seriously. People are hostile and troll a lot but to be honest at the end of the day no one cares THAT much (if they are right in the head) so it might seem more gloomy than it actually is. At the end of the day you can still do whatever you want to do on the server, just try to keep yourself in the best headspace you can, and keep in mind that if it's tough on you there's better things to be doing than playing minecraft anyways so its fine to take a break

[MailC3p 2403]

Hey, Man. I've never interacted with you directly, as far as I can tell. Despite that however, I am sorry to hear that you are not having a good time. If you need to take a break, sit out the war, don't let people on either side of it bully you into fighting it, at the end of the day it is just stupid mineman

[Samson Option 9652]

I will write more on this matter tomorrow as I don't want what is a serious topic to be caught up in the "April Fools" banter. Message me on Discord if you want to chat and I'll be more than happy to give you some sound advice as an older player.

[Rig 17580]

Hey man,

 

You're a really funny guy and you've got a great attitude. Don't let all this wear you down. In Veletz, a lot of us had our own settlement kicked down, but we picked up after and managed to make some fun out of it. Personally, when the server's making me crash out, I delete Discord off my phone and prioritize stuff that needs my attention. These things include my job, coursework and hobbies.

 

Sam said it above but escapism is a reason loads of people hop on LoTC. I hop on because I have fun writing my little stories, it distracts me from the pressures of being towards the end of my university career- you're a young guy, you're still developing your own mindset, so don't take what a bunch of geeks on a Minecraft server have to say about you so seriously. Easier said than done, I know, but you'll get some thicker skin and end up very resilient with the right attitude.
 

We're all gonna stumble and f*k up and that's just being human. Not everybody's gonna like us, some rightfully so, others for no reason at all. Just gotta embrace it.

 

You have my Discord if you need to talk a little bit about it. Best of luck, Yeetboy.

[Disheartened 809]

Hey there, I don't know you but I do know this server! A lot of us have been where you are. Things can be frustrating and intense at times. Try not to let it ruin your fun! Stick with people who don't stress you out and take breaks when you need to take breaks. Prioritize yourself always. At the end of the day, this is an online game, there is bound to be conflict even oocly since not everyone can always have their way. I just returned after a long break and am going to be in Balian, hope to see ya around!

[PrinceJose270 1211]

God, OOC and war only tears people apart. I genuinely question their point outside of mild conflict till the next big bad shows up. Not even too invested in the war. Yet from seeing and hearing things. I question if Lotc is actually following the narrative and mission it hoped to achieve. Yet near every war i've seen this map has just been OOC mappaint and plots.


Simple as; We've lost the way. War is simply clicks that kills communities and such RP Longterm. Regardless how one justifies it.

[marikandaperc 1817]

As a new player, I was tossed into the middle of a rebellion, probably one of the most toxic wars I've had the chance to partecipate in. It was terrible, filled with ooc-sneaking, toxicity and other uncouth behavior.  
 

The only advice I can give you is to always remember that at the end of the day, this is not real. In a year, when you look back at this war, you will realize how pointless and silly it was, so don't ruin your health for something that is ultimately pointless. Do not take it too seriously, and if people try to put you down then take it as a joke. 

 

I can't say I've struggled with finding RP. mostly because Norland is active no matter what, but what I can suggest for you is to either make an elf in the vale (since you mentioned its activity) or just a new character in general. 
 

I saw you mention something about ooc hostility, but I promise if you were to join a nation your other persona is at war with, none would put you down or treat you unfair. So do not be afraid of making a new persona in one of the active realms (Norland is pretty active, Numendil is ok, Dwarves also seemed ok). I would probably suggest a dwarf or an elf so you can space away from your main form of rp (human) and instead opt into something that doesnt have to be anchored down anywhere (its more common to see a dwarf in a human realm than a human in a dwarf realm, dwarves also live more time).

 

ULTIMATELY, your health matters most, so if you can't have fun even when you try to change things around, then maybe all you need is a little break. In the meantime, you could find other games to play, maybe ask around if anyone from LOTC would play with you (im sure a lot of people would, even "on the enemy team") or just pick up new hobbies. When I'm very upset or generally frustrated I just walk it off and it helps a lot!

 

Good luck

 

(also if you want to try new rp or just text u can contact me on discord @dietcokecola)

[Gridlock 1033]

Yeetboy, I have been playing on the same side as you for a while now and I've been in some pvp practices and warclaims with you these last weeks.
I can confidently say you're taking everything too serious. You're doing this to yourself by failing to take things with a grain of salt as this is at the end of the day just some minecraft server.

 

I've been on the same side as you and I have experienced no serious/noteworthy ooc toxicity (aside from some trolling about our L's) from the other side at all, I've been able to RP in the hub I usually RP in without any issues. True, war requires some adapting like not sitting out on roadsides all day waiting to be banditted etc. But it's not like it has been made impossible for you to RP in your hub. At worst you'll be caught in a raid once and then it goes on cooldown so you can peacefully rp for like double the time that you actually lost to that raid. 

 

If you need to step away from lotc to unwind, do it. But if I can give you one piece of advice that, if you take it, will change your lotc experience forever it would be: Don't take anything that goes on on this server too serious.

You're allowing it to get to you. Build things outside of the server that fullfill you, you can't allow your mental health to depend on a server with a bunch of monkeys like me on it.

 

Spoiler

These may be my last words before I get casually nuked, please take them to heart.

 

[Yeetboy0206 1574]

An update:
I am doing better, thanks in large part to several people who reached out to me outside of just the replies to make sure I was okay, for which I am grateful. Instead of going to bed at 4:00 AM EST last night, I went to bed around 3:30 thanks to these people. That said, I am still not great, and some of this is just because of IRL things, but also because I woke up to see that this post was hot with 10-11 replies, and I saw a few things that made me feel like I would be better off not making this post.

First of all, to those telling me that I'm taking this too seriously or that the war, at least from the side opposite mine, are not engaging in toxic behavior,  a person on the other side uploaded a video using excerpts and recordings of my speeches and songs to YouTube excerpts of speeches and songs I've made during this war without my consent or knowledge. To avoid more OOC drama, I won't say who did it, nor am I going to post a link to the video. To start with, the song recordings were expected to be shared around, which wasn't what I was upset about. Nor was it that my speech has clips of it uploaded to YouTube. It's that I had to find out about it hours after it had been uploaded, and was not approached for permission or consent at all before it was uploaded to YouTube. And this wasn't a normal war edit, it was one specifically targeting myself in the title, in the visuals, and the use of audio. 

As for struggling to find peaceful RP outside of the war, I stated clearly that it wasn't an issue of activity. It was an issue of the fact that outside of the Vale, any kind of RP at any time, should you be in a nation that is a part of the war risks you being forced into conflicts that often can turn into toxic OOC drama. For example, the raid on Balian was not something I planned to participate in on my end, and upon its completion, at least in the mod discord, a great deal of OOC drama came about because people from the other side were claiming things we had logged illegally when that was not the case. Granted, this thankfully was a situation I could move away from. Situations like being a witness to someone going out of their way to instigate unnecessary conflict in a VC that eventually lead to a ban report where one has to risk great personal reputation and their standing in the overall community to testify against a player who at least if the reaction to his ban is to be believed, was popular despite his behavior being very clearly bannable under the current rules of LOTC are much harder to avoid. 

 

As for those telling me that LOTC has and will always be this way, if that is the case, then let me be clear about something. That's the fault of the players. Not just the systems. A flawed system only causes as much damage as the players who abuse it for personal benefit at the expense of others in the community. To say LOTC will always be this way, means only that the players who perpetuate the behaviors that lead to all of this refuse to change or lack the self-control necessary to avoid creating these problems they say will always plague LOTC. Something doesn't have to be perfect for it to be fun. People have to care enough to actually try to fix it. If you don't, then fine. But don't try and escape the issue by saying that LOTC has and will always be this way. Because if that's the case, then it's not natural, because change is nature. The only people to blame for that are those who refuse to change.

 

I hope by the end of today I will be able to go to sleep by midnight. I will post an update if that winds up being the case.

[Solour 526]

-1 just take a damn break and find sum else to do. unhealthy.

[argonian 14254]

Someone including you in a war compilation vid is still not a good enough reason to skip meals and stay up all night.