[PK] The Sea Settles, Calm

[sapphic_spidy 1089]

 

Spoiler

 

 

He made it out.

 

But it all ends somewhere. All stories have an end. He went by many names in his life. 

 

Sydney, mostly. Syd. 
He left who he was behind, on Skjoldier, on that unforgiving place that claimed the first twenty years of his life. He never thought he’d make it to see thirty. He knew that it was never guaranteed he would see another day. His parents died. His first love died. All so that he could live- so that he could make it out, and he did.

 

He lived on Aevos, he loved on Aevos, he died on Aevos. He found a family again.

 

Sydney Crawford was never his real name. His name was left behind on Skjoldier. It belonged to the ghosts, whose memory he carried with him. Forever, he carried them with him. For every family member he lost, he added another notch to his blade. Four, in total. 

 

In the beginning, in Balian, he was a thief. For some reason, they liked him, but it didn’t change what he was. He stole, he broke in, he trespassed. He was nearly caught. Nearly getting caught earned him a family. One he’d treasure forever. So much happened in Balian. So much changed for the better. It was his home, for years. His first room. His first family in years. His first sense of security. And then he got his first house in Cormath. And then… 

 

Well, time passes. People get old. He got old. He got frail. Sydney never wanted to die of old age. He never wanted to pass peacefully. He always wanted his end to mean something. In truth, he was never very accomplished. A loud mouth, sticky fingers, and a burning loyalty which got him in trouble more often than not. But he never took life for granted. He can count the lives he took on one hand. He was many things, but he wasn’t a killer. 

 

One day, he leaves Jun Lei. He knows it will be his last time exiting his apartment. He puts in another tax token or two, to give his family time. He inhales. It’s time to let go. It’s time to see everything one last time.

 

Sydney’s last stop is the lily pond. Their lily pond. He looks to the effigy, sitting down. Who knows how much longer until the pond is gone? Swept away in war?

 

“Hey, Naya.”

“I don’ know if you can hear me. I’d like t’think you can. I’d… like t’think you’re in th’ stars, though I know that ain’t possible.”

 

“Did I do a good job? Would you be proud? I think my time’s up. Maybe I’ll become somethin’ like Reetus. Ain’t sure if I want to. Fynn wouldn’ be happy.”

 

He smiles slightly, to himself, to the lilymoot banner before him.

“He won’t be happy anyways. But I’ve known… for a long time, I was gettin’ old. My time was endin’. I think I had a good life. I hope I’ll be remembered.”

 

A pause. Idly, he traces the numerous scars along his hands, leaning his head back against the tree.

 

“I didn’ do all I wanted to do. I didn’ protect anyone. I got old. Lost my spark. I don’ know what comes next. Where I’ll end up. But that never scared me. I got used t’livin’, somehow, but I always knew I’d die. We both knew we’d die. Morbid, but we had to face that from th’ very beginnin’, didn’ we?”

 

Now, he pulls up blades of grass, one at a time, before letting the breeze carry them off.

 

“I thought I was doomed from th’ start, you know. I thought I’d die on Skjoldier. But I made it out. …”

His voice trails off. What does he say? What does he say that he hasn’t said already? 

 

 

“Fynn’s… You’d be proud of him. I’m sorry. I thought I- would think of somethin’.”

Syd’s eyes begin to leak. He doesn’t know why he’s crying. The finality of this?

 

Didn’t he expect this? Is it relief? That it’s over? What is it?

 

“I thought…”

“Surely now I’d have words.”

 

But he doesn’t. He doesn’t have anything to say.
He sits there, for hours. He doesn’t know how much time passes, but eventually, he rests. 

 

 

----------------------

The letters are sent. Some of them, judging by the state of the paper, are decades old. Some will never reach their recipients, as they are deceased. 

 

But they know Syd. He's always got to get the last word. 

 

 

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AITHWIN @NovumChase

 

Spoiler

Hey, if you get this letter, there’s one thing I want to make clear. I don’t hate you for vanishing how you did. I do kind of blame you, but it’s complicated. You’re doing the same thing my father did when my mother died. You’re vanishing. Fynn will need you. He does need you. The kid’s a teenager and employed. If I didn’t tell you this when I’m alive, I hope it reaches you now.
-Syd

 

AMARA @tinyriddle_1
 

Spoiler

Thanks for saving my life. I’ll never really be able to repay that. I don’t really know what happened there, my mind is blurry as all hell when it comes to that night. You didn’t have to save me. You didn’t have to risk yourself. And you did. Thank you. So much. I hope you long outlive me. Mother above knows you deserve to.
-Syd

 

 

ARIANNA @RatFromTheTrash

 

Spoiler

I know that you lied to me. I can’t remember who told me the truth about you, but I learned everything. I don’t forgive you, but I don’t regret trying to help you either. 
-Syd

 

ARTHUR @xo31

 

Spoiler

We had rough patches. Sometimes I don’t know if I’m sorry for hitting you or sorry I didn’t hit you more. But you’ve been a good friend the past few years. The cocoa yesterday is what really made me decide to write a letter to you, in case I die. I’m glad we made up, in the end. 
-Syd

 

ATHRI @WhatASithuation

 

Spoiler

I’m so sorry. I lost your trust a while ago, I know I did. But it got rough before that, didn’t it? I’m just sorry.

You were like a father to me. You were one of the first people to ever see anything in me. I wasn’t some hopeless idiot, some criminal, or a stowaway. You helped me. I had a purpose. And I would have done anything for you. I wanted to make you proud. That was one of the things I wanted most. I wanted you to be proud of me. Guess I ruined that.

I understand why you and Naith did what you did. I just didn’t want to. I wanted to be angry. I felt guilty for starting to let go of that anger. I felt like I was betraying Naya. But I wasn’t. She was changing, and I was clinging onto an ideal of her.

I didn’t know you well. We grew apart. But I trusted you. I still do. You always wanted the best for me. I’ll never forget that. I just wish I could repay you better. I wish I could give you more. I owe you more than I could ever repay. Sorry for nearly burning down the library way back when. Still feel bad about that too.

There’s so much more I could say, but mostly, I just want to thank you. I know people questioned you when you gave me those chances. They thought you were making weird choices, mistakes. Maybe you were. But you gave me something priceless. I feel like, for a time, I lost sight of all that you did for me. I’m sorry for that.

You changed my life. You made me realize I was more than I thought I was.
Thank you.
-Syd

 

CHARLOTTE @genericsapphic

 

Spoiler

We all knew it was coming. Wish I could tell you in person, but if you’re reading this, I can’t, for a very simple reason: I’m dead. Sorry. 

But thank you. You were one of my first friends. You had my back. You stopped me from making a mess and ******* everything up more times than I could count. You were smart, where I wasn’t. And I owe you my life for that. I’m sorry about Cormath. I’m sorry I couldn’t change anything. But in the end, I’m just a man. Just a human.

I don’t know if you’re alive. I hope you are. 

-Syd

 

FYNN @ProcaPro

 

Spoiler

Fynn, I’m sorry. But if you’re reading this, I’m gone.
I thought about what you said. Really, I did. It’s probably the main reason why I decided to live until my time was up, rather than extending my life. It’s my time. And I couldn’t stand to watch you get old yourself, while I stayed in some mechanical body until I lost all traces of myself.

I couldn’t do that. 

I hope I was one of your favorite uncles. I hope I made you laugh. Sorry for dumping my history on you all at once like that. It was selfish, to be honest. I wanted someone to know. I wanted you to know. I wanted you to know about me. I never forgot where I came from, where I started. I believe no one should.

I hope you’re happy. I hope you live to be an old man. I hope you find love, and keep it for as long as you can.

I’m leaving my possessions to you and Godwin. I trust the two of you with them. 

I don’t know what else there is to say. I’m glad I got to watch you grow up. I am so, so lucky to have a nephew like you.

-Syd, your favorite uncle

PS: Try to find Reetus if you can! He's a friendly ghost, the friendliest. A friend of mine and your mom's. I don't know where he'll go when Balian is gone, though.

 

GNARLA @hyped_angel

 

Spoiler

Thank you for our time together. 

-Syd

 

GODWIN @AuJy

 

Spoiler

Hey, Win. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. But if you’re reading this, I’m gone.
I leave to you and Fynn all of my possessions, I just ask you leave Naya’s stuff to him. He deserves it. 

My birth name was Nicholas Bon. You’re the only one I really want to let in on that secret though. It’s a name I left behind, with everyone on Skjoldier. It’s not a name that really belongs to me anymore. It belongs to them. It felt wrong to keep using it, after they were gone. After I left that hellscape. 

I’m sorry to leave. But I’m so glad you found me all those years ago.
You nearly caught me breaking into a house, you know. I jumped out the window to avoid getting caught. Yet we still ran into each other, we still talked. And I’m glad. You saved me, then, from becoming something a lot worse than I ended up being. I owe you everything. I always loved you, as a brother, even when I was frustrated with some of your antics. You were always one of the most precious people to me. Always. 

You’re strong. I noticed it a long time ago. You put up your walls, you put on your acts, because the show must go on and all. But you’ve always been struggling, too. You never told me much about your past. I guess I never asked, and I’m sorry. You held it close to your chest. Even on your Dedicates Day. I remember back then. Your apartment. Then your house. You gave me a room. Me, my emotional, thieving ass, was given a room in your house. It meant a lot to me, even if I accidentally gnawed on a few curtains, haha. 

I’ve always been selfish, but you’ve always cared for me. Thank you. Thank you so much. You lit up my life. You’re the best brother anyone could ask for. Thank you for giving me family. Thank you for giving me a chance. Thank you for saving my life.

-Syd

 

GRAE [procapro]
 

Spoiler

I never knew you as an adult, but I used to babysit you when you were small. You have good parents. Never forget that.
-Syd

 

GWEN @yink

 

Spoiler

Thank you for believing in me.

-Syd

 

HAEL @salamanderfantasy
 

Spoiler

Thank you for helping me keep my head, and leg, on straight. There’s a lot everyone could learn from you. You’re one of the smartest people I know. You’re curious too, which is a good thing. Maybe consider naming an invention after me one day? I don’t know, just a thought.
-Sydney

 

IOLAS @kuebiko
 

Spoiler

I don’t know if I regret spending all those years on you. I don’t know if it was a waste.
You’re the one who left me, though. For the record.
You were too scared to lose me, you kept seeing me for the years it would take me to die. I don’t know if you ever saw me as alive. 
You left me a long time ago. But for all of that time, I can’t leave this world and leave you nothing. Though I don’t know if you’d do the same for me. 

Bye, for good this time.

-Syd

 

JENNY @funtzu

Spoiler

I will literally never understand you but also I don’t need to. The world needs more people like you.

-Syd

 

MALNA @KillerMaid

 

Spoiler

Hey. Don’t take this news too harshly, but I’m dead.
It was bound to happen eventually. I wrote you another letter in case of this happening years ago, but I can leave better words. 

Your life matters. So much. You’ve done so much good. All I ever could have wanted was to do half of what you did. Your positivity did so much. And I care about you, you’re my sister. I hope you cared about me, but try not to take this news too hard. It was bound to happen eventually.

I’m so glad that I met you.
-Syd

 

NAITH @Halfirate

 

Spoiler

I truly am sorry. I just thought I’d tell you again.

Thank you and Athri both for taking chances on me, and I’m sorry that I disappointed you. I forgive you. You did what you had to do. Though I can’t expect either of you to forgive me. And I’m sorry that I’m not going into some mechanical body. But I couldn’t stand to watch everyone else grow old and die.

I know that might be an insensitive thing to say to an elf. Sorry for that too. But I’m not made for that. 

Thank you.
I never meant to disappoint you. I always wanted to impress you. I always looked up to you. You and Athri both.

I hope you can forgive me too.
-Sydney

 

REETUS @JudgedKitty

 

Spoiler

Can ghosts even get letters?
I’m glad I got to give you a hug, buddy. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there longer. I’ll tell Fynn how to find you. Please, keep an eye out for him.
-Sydney

 

SARIEL @graveyard_bones

 

Spoiler

Sariel,
Sorry. I hope you outlive me. 

You’ve come so far. I’m so proud. I know anyone would be. You know Naya and I would do anything for you. I hope she’s still around when you get this. Please don’t go back to how things were before. Things are good the way they are now. So much better. 

You’re always my brother.

 

Open Six Below for me!

 

-Syd

 

VELUC @amogus

 

Spoiler

You’ve saved my life a few times, but I don’t know if you’ll remember me well when you get this. It’s been years since I’ve even seen you. I should have heeded your advice sooner, about being angry at the right people.

Thanks for letting me chew on your shoulder too. If it weren’t for your help, I probably would have died then, instead of being able to remember it decades later. Thank you, Veluc.

Keep that jar-brain safe.

-Sydney 

 

YRMSHIK @nusti75

 

Spoiler

I’m sorry that I let us drift apart. I never knew you well, but you took a chance on me. Gave me some purpose. I’ll never forget what you did for me. If you’re receiving this, I’m gone. But we all knew I wouldn’t last long anyways.
-Syd

 

FYNN, ONE FINAL TIME [procapro]

A bunch of individual letters, all sent to Fynn.

 

Spoiler

Naya, I don’t know if you’ll be receiving this anytime soon. I hope not, but I’m not sure. I’m writing this now because I want you to know if something happens to me. 
I hope I’d know if something happened to you. Watching you pretend you weren’t hurt after the battle was terrifying. I worry for you. Please, take better care of yourself.
-Syd

 

Spoiler

Naya,
Thank you, for everything. You took a chance on me. You saw me for what others couldn’t. You saw me as a person, with potential. I’ll never forget that. Thank you.
-Syd

 

Spoiler

Sister, 
I owe you more than I could ever repay anyone. I’m sorry for being a pain in your ass, 

Spoiler

Naya, 

Thank you for

Spoiler

Sister, your kindness has meant everything to me. You were my first family in

 

 

Spoiler

Every day, I thank the mother above that Godwin introduced us. You were my first family in years, and your kindness meant everything to me. It would have been so easy to brush me off, but you never

 

Spoiler

Thank you,

 

Spoiler

Sister,
I’m writing letters in case I die. I just finished the one I’d send out to Gwen, but writing the one to you is always hardest. What would I even say? 

I don’t think I’ll outlive you. You’re smarter than me. Really, you’re so smart. Smartest person I know. You and Aithwin are a perfect pair of nerds. Your kid’s real tiny, but he’ll grow up well, with you two. Hopefully Godwin won’t be too bad of an influence.

If you’re getting this, I’m dead. And I’m sorry. But we both knew that I wouldn’t last long. 

Or maybe I did. Maybe you’re getting this and we’re both wisened old raisins, getting drunk with Athri and sushi on boats, playing truth or dare in your manor in Kaethul.

I don’t know what will happen.
But I want to thank you. I love you. You’re my sister, and always will be, even when we’re both long gone.

Your brother, Sydney 

 

Spoiler

Fynn, 

I leave you everything Naya ever left me, and everything I ever would have left Naya.
Never forget where you came from, never forget who you are.
You’re going to do great things. 

In the big set of barrels, there are some items in the bottom right one that I don’t know who they belong to. Maybe you Godwin and Sariel could try and find their owners for me? No pressure, of course.

Your uncle,
-Syd

I also enclose to you Naya’s letter to me:

Sydney, My Brother,

 

If this is with you, I am gone. I am sorry. I am so proud of you, have I said that? I am always so proud of you. I remember, decades ago, when Godwin dragged you to the Moot talking about you breaking into mansions. I am glad I didn’t arrest you. Now look at you, a protector, a fighter, strong, able to weather whatever storms come. You are so bitingly intelligent, so truly and completely your own. You are smart. Godani, I have met few that can match you in wit. Keep it sharp. You are a good man, I know this, you have always been good. Stay good. You know I’m not like I once was. We have stood on opposite paths since we met, and it seems we will never tread the same for long, no matter how hard we try.

 

I do all for my family. It is not enough. Don’t lose yourself. Be you, I beg you.

 

Remember the Rains,

 

-Naya, Your Sister

 

 

 

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OOC Time

Spoiler

Hooooly wow. This was a hard choice to make, but it's time. I played Sydney for over a year, and experienced a lot of first on the server through him. Met a lot of really cool people. Thank you everyone for puttin up with this whirlwind of a man!! His story was so fun, but it has to end at some point, and I think now is the time.

 

It was honestly surreal watching a character grow up and mature as I played them. The changes felt natural. And I'll miss this guy, really, I will, but it's his time. He's 96, which means I've been playing him for... 75 weeks. WOW!!

 

I loved this stupid lil guy, but he deserves his rest. 

Goodbye Sydney, thank you for being such a fun character to play. From stealing 900 pieces of bread from a keep during the Veletz war, to breaking couches, to getting called a dog by demons... it was a WILD ride. And unfortunately for you all I'm not goin anywhere!! But it's time to say goodbye to the character I've spent the most time on. 

 

 

[JudgedKitty 224]

The days in Balian were repeating again in the male ghost's eyes. Again. and again. Reetus the ghost that people knew felt like he couldn't pass on. No one ever told him anything about what is going on. The fighting. The violence. All that Reetus wanted was to see his best friend's family and what was left of Annette's generation. He floated through Balian, looking for a living person.

His normal routine shattered before the man's eyes. A letter. A real letter that was left on his shrine. The ghost can't help but floated over and opened to read the contain. His tears fall down his face as he read it. "Sydney. The world didn't deserve you. . . I hope you were happy." The man rubbed his tears away, once. . . again alone. "I was happy that day that you hugged me and promised to visit me once again. I guess. .  The both of us are truly liars."
He dryly chuckled as his tears continued to flow down. The ghostly man sat on his shire, staring at the ruins of the Balian that Gaius truly loved. 

"Sydney, have I told you about how I was like?" The question spoked loudly. A question that no one will ever reply. "I was once like you. Filled with so much hope. I wanted to be a druid. Someone who can heal people. . ." He paused after saying that. Knowing full well that someone will give him an earful later " But I will save this another day. . . Know this, Sydney. I will look after the boy Fynn the best I can.  The same way that I do with Gaius' descendants. In a soft guiding way. . . Just be ready when I get done with my last task. Okay?" The ghostly man picked up his head towards the sky with a soft grandfatherly look. "Promise me that, at least"
 

Spoiler

We will all miss Sydney!!!

I can't wait to rp with you more in your future personas
Talk to you later, okay?

[xo31 3979]

AN ARCH WIZARD, sat atop a tower, somewhere, and filtered through letters. Mania often laced him these days, so long submerged within the arcane and the powers of the Void.

 

One note crossed over his desk, and as he read over it, a sigh was let out. For a moment, he was grounded, mania and insanity draining, to just leave Arthur. -  And a glowing tear dripped from his eye.

 

He peered up to the sky, and spoke aloud;

"You were a good kid, Syd. You deserve the rest more than anyone."

[kuebiko 684]

Somewhere, a lonely scholar receives a letter. It catches him in the act - afraid to look outside at the idea of loss. The letter takes Iolas off guard to the point he stares at it. Those years were a waste, the same years he spent over Averwyn, and later another. 

But there's something so surreal to it. So painful that he spends the evening weeping within Haelun'or's library. Not even able to say a goodbye as he had lost track of the time held so dear. Humans are so fragile. It never would've worked, and it was for the better he had vanished. The letter hurts more than it heals, and there is no one left to question over the nature of it.

 

A cat now bares his name in honor. One of many who keep the 'thill company within that library. Books weren't going to leave him anytime soon, and one would note the existence of Sydney Crawford. An endlessly hopeful soul, who he had hoped found greatness. 

[Generi 621]

Charlotte stood against the railing at the fore of her ship as she read and re-read the letter. 

 

'We all knew it was coming,' it said. 

'You were smart, where I wasn't.'

'I don't know if you're alive. I hope you are.'

She scoffed.

'I'm just a man.'

 

"That's a damn poor excuse for dyin', lad. But I can't drag y'back from a ****-up like this." But that was the difference between the two, the Captain figured. She wasn't just a man. She grew more ancient by the day, but never frail. She took so many lives, but would never give her own up. She couldn't dare to lay down and accept her fate. 

 

Charlotte ordered her barebones crew to make the ship ready for sail, wondered if the best place to rekindle lost motivation was in the death of her favorite little disaster, and emptied an untouched glass of whiskey into the sea, where someone like Sydney Crawford belonged. Finally free with the waves and wind. 

 

 

[KillerMaid 636]

Malna sat there, reading the letter over and over.

'I hope you cared about me'

 

"Sydney you idiot" 

 

The last part came out cracked and broken, mostly due to her healing wound and the tears streaming down her face. She held onto the letter like it was made of thin glass, shoulders shaking with the force of her crying 

 

"... I always did"

 

Through heated anger, through concern, through distance, and even through death, she cared for him. He was her brother, plain and simple... and now he was dead. It didn't take long for another portrait to be added to the wall, the letter pinned with it for her to read. Of course, Malna would take this hard, but she would live, like she always did. Part of her was glad she at least had a letter this time.

 

"You were so much better than me, I'm sorry you didn't see it."

[ProcaPro 557]

Somewhere in the world a man, freshly woken and preparing to travel, finds several birds staring at him at his front door all with letters tied to their legs. Fynn grumbles, then invites the flock inside. Some come through the door he leaves open, some don't. Water and seeds are prepared in small bowls and set down, the aging man gathering the little rolled letters one after the other while the messengers take their reward for the travel. Once his guests had left the Templar sits, a brew of coffee at his side, and flips through the letters.

 

There wasn't anything grand, to do about it. No revenge, no great cause or being he can chase for the loss of his family, who'd helped raise him when he had nobody left. Nothing to do but accept. Fynn places a hand over his eyes, leaning back against the wall. Travel could wait, this day.

[RatFromTheTrash 531]

6 hours ago, sapphic_spidy said:

I know that you lied to me. I can’t remember who told me the truth about you, but I learned everything. I don’t forgive you, but I don’t regret trying to help you either. 
-Syd

 

[!]

 

Long-changed hues met the letter, read in some far-off land.

 

 "...I didn't lie."

 

There was no sorrow in her, only loathing. The note was swift to vanish, buried deep within the earth.

[WhatASithuation 210]

And another one bites the dust. Athri stared down at the letter, but felt more at ease. He wondered if that was horrible or not.He couldn't pin point why exactly he felt that way. Syd was right, he did lose his trust. But - Athri'annyer still considered Sydneys actions fair. He bore no actual hatred - more simply, acted out of loyalty to his wife. These days, Athri had isolated himself in his clan home, no word given to others spare for his family that would likely drop by to check up on him. He kind of envied humans. To burn so brightly but then - to simmer out of existence when it was due time. He remembered at one point he had offered Sydney a version of immortality. It surprised him that in the end he seemed to deny such. At one point in time it'd be impossible for him to understand. But now, with his faith in mind, it clicked more soundly. When it's time it's time. 

Maybe he felt at ease because he believed his soul went to a good place. The horrors that happened to his sister didn't happen to him.

With such Athri'annyer got to work, planning on finally leaving the comfortable isolation of his clan home. He'd plan a small memorial service, and ensure a memory stone to Sydney was placed up in the graveyard. He'd do his best to ensure he was remembered.

[NovumChase 235]

Sunbeams spear in through the slender gap left by closed shutters. Dust suspended in them floats idly over snow-white hair and a hand, stone-hard with age, that unfolds the letter addressed to Aithwin.

 

In eyes faded with age, something swells. A hoarse sigh escapes him. His head lowers.