Parent-Killing-Orcs And Other Cliches To Avoid

[Samoblivion 531]

 

Argus Tallesborne was born in Asulon to a simple family of farmers in Salvus. All was well in young Argus's life until he went to market one day with his dear mother and father. This would not have been a bad thing in itself were it not for the warband of Orcs that were waiting for them in the bushes nearby. In an eyeblink, the savage beasts leapt forth from their hiding places and butchered poor Argus's mother and father, revelling in the carnage. As Argus himself was about to be slain by the 10 strong pack of greenskins, he reached for the only possession he had to his name; his father's ornate sword. Strengthened by rage and a need for revenge, young Argus set into the group of burly Orcs, killing them all in a savage frenzy. The Orphaned Argus trudged home with his paren't bodies to an uncertain future.

 

Thirty years later, Argus has devoted himself to hunting down and slaying every last Orc in the world. None would stand before the strength that his grief had-

 

Wait, wait wait! STAHP! Are you saying that a simple farm boy murdered a 10 strong group of Orcs with nothing but his dad's sword? Aside from the probable lack of training this kid had, where did his father get the sword? I doubt that a farmer would be able to make or afford such a thing. And how would grief and rage fuel a murderous rampage through a heavily armed group of giant green warriors? More likely, little Argus would be paralysed with fear and grief, soil himself and be promptly dispatched. And then there's the Orcs themselves! LotC Orcs aren't the common pillage-and-burn variety - okay, maybe they are, but there's always a reason for it! Packs of Orcs don't roam the Orenian countryside looking for children to turn into orphans and farmers are slim picking compared to what they could go for elsewhere.

 

Sadly, this type of biography is becoming more and more common. At least a good third of applications use these exact words: 'My parents were killed by Orcs'. These applications are almost universally denied, mostly due to the fact that they're flat out badly written, but also because the 'Parent-Killing-Orcs' story is so overdone that it borders on a ridiculous cliche. These cliches and many others can get your application insta-denied. Here are a few pointers on why they're so cringe worthy how to avoid them:

 

'My Parents were Killed-By-Orcs'

• Unoriginal - This has been done to death.
• Unlikely to happen - Orc attacks are surprisingly rare.
• Unlikely that your character would survive if they were present.

Avoiding it:

• Consider having your parents still around, or dying of natural causes if you really want to play a parentless loner.
• If you want your parents to be killed by something try having it done by wild animals or maybe a group more relevant to your racial choice. An elf of over 100 years might have had their parents killed by the Undead in Aegis, or more recently, the Order of the White Rose, an anti-elf human knight group. Dwarf parents could be killed by cave-ins.
• If you insist on having your parents killed by Orcs, you'd better make sure it's well written and fitting with lore. Dwarves are the most likely to have their parents killed by Orcs due to their long blood feud, but even then it had better be well written.

 

Parental Weaponry

• Unoriginal - Less so than being orphaned by greenskins, but you'd be surprised how many farm boys have ancient swords.
• Unlikely - Unless he was a soldier before he turned to farming, your peasant father is unlikely to have a treasured sword. Even if it's an older heirloom he wouldn't have the proficiency to train his child in its proper use.

Avoiding it:

• If you have an heirloom weapon, make sure you spell out its history clearly in your bio. Is it your great-grandfather's sword from the days of Aegis? Was it won in a bet? Make sure you have a reason for your weapon.
• If your character is a peasant, consider not having an ancestral/parental weapon. Think carefully about their reasons for having one and if they don't make sense, don't do it.

 

Orphaned Hero

• Being orphaned is a psychologically damaging ordeal, especially to a young child. Being an orphan is unlikely to inspire you to feats of greatness. In fact, petty crime and poverty is far more likely.
• If you were present at your parents' death at the hands of lawless brigands/orcs, why wouldn't they kill you as well?

Avoiding it:

• If your character's been orphaned, write more about the emotional impact of it rather than a burning desire for revenge.
• Darkjames wrote up a wonderful guide on orphan RP in the Tutorials & Guides subforum. It has a few good pointers in it for those determined to play orphans of any age: http://www.lordofthecraft.net/forum/index.php?/topic/85832-orphan-creation-small-guide/

 

Mighty Warrior/Chosen One/Farmboy Rambo

• Unoriginal - Everyone wants their character to be special, but the best characters are often just regular people who fit nicely into the world.
• This is not an RPG - Conventional games lull us into a 'chosen-one' mindset, where we are on some all consuming quest that hordes of enemies can't stop you from completing. In LotC you are one amongst many, a single soul in a massive world. Rarely will the actions of an individual change the course of history.
• A simple lad raised on a farm all his life will be nowhere close to the sort of godlike fighter that would be needed to take on a mob of muscle-bound warriors.
• Playing an all powerful character is Powergaming.

Avoiding it:

• Consider not creating a warrior. Many of the most interesting characters on the server are not soldiers but regular people carrying out their jobs and socialising.
• If you are going to be a warrior, make it clear in your application that you are not an all powerful hero. Instead of mentioning your unparalleled swordsmanship talk about how you were taught some things by an old friend once. Keep it simple.

 

Well, I hope at least someone will read this and take note. No-one likes an application that's a carbon copy of half of the apps in the Denied sub-forum. Take some time with your application and have fund doing it. I hope this has helped and good luck with applying ^.^

 

[Neri 3587]

The tags made me laugh - good guide, though I remember seeing one quite like this before. Proves how much of an issue it is, eh?
 
#Orcshavefeelingstoo

[Major Dom 1297]

This. All of this. Someone should sticky this in the Whitelist Applications subforum.

[DragoonCrow 346]

I know that feeling, it seems to be a common occurrence throughout the Minecraft RP community. I was a whitelister for a server once, and we usually insta-denied them.

[Ventusyr 232]

Oh my goodness, yes, yes, yes... This should definitely get a sticky. I read applications just for fun, and half of them have been killed by orcs... Orcs aren't inherently bad, guys :(

[Princeton 395]

This is just.... wonderful. Bravo. 

 

[steelersfan1221 300]

Pfft, my parents were killed by orcs, and I was accepted.

[Kardel 1047]

I remember the good ol' days when being orphaned by orcs was not cliche and when family heirlooms were a must have to be cool. Seems all o' that has changed, now everyone and everything is so complicated with all o' them electronic do-dads and coal powered boats, and all these hip new trends and cults. I blame anthos democracy.

[Urahra 5359]

But guys...haven't you heard of Orc McParentkiller? Wargoth of the McParentkiller clan?

 

The McParentkiller clan was once quite powerful in the Warnation. Please don't call their culture cliche. Orphaning people was very important to their lives.

[Aislin 4348]

Gronkk usually targets children instead of their parents. They're weaker, slower and more delicious. We should have more parents that have lost their children to orcs applying, instead of vice versa.

[Bucky_24 132]

Draktar likes to ambush familys, slay the father and mother, while making sure the kids only defense is literally 2 feet from him. Then he will pretend to have his back turned and be stabbed in the back. He then is known for running away screaming, "Ah'll gut lat mi lil pretuy! Und latz lil dawg tu!"

[Heff 2458]

This is very good! Also you might wanna add that if they joined a guild but were evicted/kicked out/ it was destroyed/ disbanded that they shouldn't constantly mention it ig. 

So-So "Oh... I think I saw my old friend!" Then they go and look outside to nobody

[rukio 8910]

Pfft. I'm just going to say, I shall now wait for every application of orphaned children to include the time the White Rose** killed both their mother and father. (Even non elves.)

**Yay for computers that can fix errors that tablets cause!

[Bucky_24 132]

I can't wait for an Orc who's backstory is "Humans killed my Parents"

[Dyn 149]

There is a power that rivals the parent killing orcs. This power is... The halfling shovel!