Mannamannaa

Asorable.

Kor'Garr the Clanless picks an invitation out of the Krugmar aviary box, brow raised as this was very clearly not addressed to him. He then notices one of the more aggressive courier hawks had... Enjoyed a meal.... When coming back from a dispatch. Small feathers were everywhere, the unfortunate pidgeon nowhere to be seen. "Wehl, peepz loike zumazh iz nub gettin' diz lettur. Uupz..." He then looks over the rather elegant missive with an expression of light bemusement. "Wuld dey mynd agh Uruk aht diz parti? Bin mani tikz zynze Kor'garr haz blah'd wit dah uld Musin vrendz." He takes out a large sheet of rough parchment, dips a rather fancy quill into ink, and begins to write a reply...

Kor'garr the Clanless takes a large swig of Grog in the Betharuz Tavern, droplets of alcohol dripping down thick tusks. The orc twirls his mustache slightly as he hears the murmurs of discussion about the new conflict between the Raguks and the whitewashes of Un'Satum. "Wehl, Kor'garr wint tu rikord der Blah 'imzelf. Dey wunt tu reyf dah goi agh kannub bi 'onur klomp'd, bikuz Wytewazhes nub'av eny 'onur en dah azht playze..." He then chuckles lightly, bulky arms crossing over a heavily scarred chest. "Kor'garr wuld hav klarified dat bit en dah originul mezzij doh. Juzt konfuzed dah dregortz zmol grukkurz evin moar dehn dey ulreddi ahr." His head shakes slowly in regret until he pauses with a thought. "Dah Dregortz wur... Pairitz, yub? Kor'garr juzt grukk'd uv zumtyng..." The grey orc quickly rises from his seat, face contorted into a malicious grin as he heads down toward the miniscule docks of San'Velku...

Kor'garr smiles widely upon seeing the missive, raising a tankard of grog to the announcement. "Tik vor dah uld clans to meyk der riturn. Lup'Raguk!"

[!] Bundles of newspapers would be spread throughout Almaris for all to see. While written cleanly and vividly upon dense sheets of high quality parchment, the pages of blocky script would be unskillfully formatted, with a noticable lack of pictures or other artwork. [!] THE KAKTUZ WEEKLI Vol. Azh (I) Azh’kint’H’ (XV) (105) Second Age Current Events KRUGMAR SLANDERIZED, HYPOCRISY RAMPANT While the topic of Krugmar’s great war against those beings now referred to as the Synods was going to be the headline piece of this issue, Kor’garr cannot simply watch and do nothing as the Ugz lays outrageous accusations at the feet of all Krug-kind. Consider this an apology for the obvious emotion and clear lack of neutrality in the following article. Recently news of the most cursed being Iblees’ return has been announced, and with it a resounding volley of claims that our Rex and those under him have forsaken the spirits and instead bent the knee to serve under the very being responsible for our curse. In particular, The Albai Princess Valyris Ibarellan directly stated in official writing “The Rex has sworn fealty to Iblees” and “prepares for war alongside the Betrayer’s loyal necromancers.” [!] The piece continues on another page further in... [!] ORC KULTURE - Grog agh Grub Prove Your Strength! Heart-eating and its Benefits. It is well known among the children of Krug that simply defeating a foe in battle is not the best of ways to show your own strength over a bested enemy. Instead, it is common for Orcs to obtain and eat the vital organs of adversaries who have proven especially worthy, as a way of absorbing their strength and climbing it as our own! One muscle of special importance where this is concerned is the heart of a slain enemy, representing their vitality in battle and the flow of their Grizsh (The Blah word for blood, which usually alludes to one of the three famous Orcish humors). In order to show true conquest and growth through the ferocity of battle, a freshly fallen enemy's heart will be carefully harvested with a special blade and then consumed at the site of victory raw and uncooked, to better preserve the echoes of lingering life and appease the spirits. A greater amount of the organ being consumed displays a greater victory over the foe and growth in strength, while being unable to stomach the chosen quantity of raw flesh will show clear signs of arrogance and weakness, not being able to withstand the power of a foe you have already bested. In a less ceremonial sense the consumption of vital organs in a raw form helps young Uruks with their swift maturity and need for large amounts of fresh meat to bolster their quickly growing forms… And let’s not forget that hearts are wonderfully tasty, albeit more dense and gamey than other meats. Kor’garr recommends pairing raw heart with lighter and sweeter beverages such as Cactus Fruit Wine, in order to provide a better contrast between the fragrant aromas of fresh fruit and the metallic tang of a freshly slain foe. Also, against some foes the consumption of their raw and unpurified flesh is a distinctly poor idea, such as those tainted by Buurz’Mojo or the cursed taint of Iblees. The Kaktuz Weekli is nub responsible if you flat yourself from poor decision making. ORC KULTURE - Spiritualism The Spirit of Ublulhar! With this being the first ever issue of the Kaktuz Weekli, now would be a great time to mention the spirit known as Ublulhar, patron of hope and new beginnings! A well known and welcomed entity to praise among Krug-kind, Ublulhar is known for supporting acts of creation and welcoming change towards a brighter future. His commonly represented form is that of a small entling, or living tree, bursting from the ground, symbolizing the growth of new life. Uruks tend to avoid the usual methods of sacrifice when worshiping this spirit, instead tending to the growth of young plants or animals as a way to show devotion to the optimism of Ublulhar’s concepts. ORC KULTURE - Uruk uv da Week This is Uruk of the Week, a section where we highlight a member of our great Horde to talk with and ask them about themselves! With the lack of tik available for interviews, this particular issue is less of an interview and more of a self-introduction. So… Kor’garr Blahs “Ug”. Kor’garr is a Clanless orc that was born in the year 1770 of the first age, being brought to Almaris as a child. I am an accomplished Blacksmith, Dinker of Grog, Diplomat, Friend of Musin, and have even been Rex of the Iron Horde in the past back when it was called the Wagh Nation of Krugmar. My favorite hobbies include beating up giant beasts and collecting bottles of fine alcohol to display in my tower. I am an orc of the Red Sand born under the constellation of Ghorza during Agongraz (or the Amber Cold for the Nub’Uruks)... Ah, and I have a distinctly glorious handlebar mustache. Aside from all that, I am now the owner of the Kaktuz Weekli, though it is more of a one-uruk show at the moment than anything else. Q&A CORNER Here is where Kor’garr or other members of the Kaktuz Weekli will respond to messages submitted by our readers! Feel free to Blah with Kor’garr or send a bird to San’Velku’s aviary with your questions or stories, and we will put them into the Paper! Since this is the azht issue, of course, there is nothing to respond to yet. Ending Comments Staff Notes: “More will be added in later issues! Rulg to the Writer’s Guild of Almaris for their support in this publication. Issues will always be released during the later half of the Amber Cold. Also please note we are hiring artists for photography, art, and formatting purposes. ” (OOC References) (OOC P.S.)

"GRRRRAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" The grey orc lets out a roar of dismay and rage, arms flinging the held possessions across the room. A bottle of fine ink shatters against the tower wall in a shower of droplets and twinkling shards as Kor'garr's frame shudders in disbelief. He continues to seethe as he looks between the two missives upon his desk, each individually worrisome but together telling a story of intentional slander and deceit. "...Tuu mani liez. Kor'Garr wihl zpred dah Truth." Wordlessly, coldly, the greyskin's eyes burn in vibrant crimson hues from outrage as he strides over to the nearby drawer. A new bottle of ink and many, many sheets of parchment are laid before him as the newly motivated former Rex of ages ago begins to write for the global stage once more...

I wholeheartedly approve of expansions to a player community's culture and efforts to make the group give a more unique experience to the Server. Thank you.

Obligitory feeding of the Rep Farm.

[!] Large posters would be displayed throughout Krugmar, writ upon in bulky yet elegant Blah. Similar works in a surprisingly refined common are spread through Almaris on thick missives of parchment. [!] EMPLOYEES WANTED! As some of you might know, Krugmar will soon release the premier issue of a high quality publication known as the Kaktuz Weekli, a newspaper organized by Kor'garr the Clanless to inform both Krug-kind and Nub-Uruks of Krugmarian happenings. Topics of discussion will include important events both domestic and foreign, explanations of old history, and articles upon Orc Kulture for all to know and understand. For this task we are seeking talented artists and writers to participate in the creation of articles and various media references. Employment will include payment of various kinds, particulars of which can be negotiated with Kor'Garr. Orc heritage is not required, and neither is an understanding of Blah (or Uld Blah), though willingness to become familiar with Uruk Kulture is highly recommended. Please send birds or inquire in person at San'Velku for more information, as positions are limited and time-sensitive. Spirits guide your path, Kor'garr the Clanless

"Ohz, dat wuz wut I hurd zumazh zynging en dah Betharuz Tavurn... Etz, wutz dah wurd? Katchy. Kor'Garr loikez et." The grey orc goes about his day.

Wait Musin are still doing things? Would love to RP with them again!

This. Exactly this.

Kor'Garr the Clanless scans through the recruitment propaganda slowly, brows nearly lifting off his forehead until the orc lets out harsh peals of jubilant laughter. "YUB! YUB! Iv deez' 'umiez Blah dah troothz, dehn wiz' gunna gitz zum 'hozh klompz ahed uv'uz! Peep loike dey moight akzhulli av'zum 'onur!" His scarred chest continues to shake with each shout of bloodthirsty joy, until finally his frame relaxes into a thoughtful slouch against the nearby walls of Krugmar's tavern. Dust and spilled grog stick to his bulky shoulder as it rests against rough lumber and gritty cavern walls, but he pays no mind the surrounding mess, instead frowning with furrows of intricate intent. A mild wave of his wrist sends the poster to rest upon a primitive table nearby. "Wehl, dey wihl nub 'av az much 'onur az wi Uruk-kin du, aht leezt. Buht meybi dey wihl git kloze. Daht wuld bi'ag zyte tu peep."

I am so sorry to hear that, I personally love the musin and every RP session I have interacted with them was truly wonderful. Great community that got a bunch of OOC hate because the server treated them like Wonks 2.0 when they weren't a meme/joke race (they actually slam down hard on that.) Kor'Garr still thinks of himself as a Musinfriend and would enjoy seeing them around once more. I wouldn't call them random, just non-descendant? Magic High fantasy world should have high fantasy beings in my opinion. I also think a lot of the more "miscellanious" races are ostracized, both IRP and OOCly, to the point that trying to survive playing one can be an actual burden. It's sad, but if it isn't a human, elf or dwarf one of the former probably hates it on principle. ...Oh, and why the zkah would I choose to play as a boring colonial-era human when I could be literally anything more interesting to RP as?

Definitely the time when I, as Rex, joined forces with a young human girl to start a food fight in the middle of Norland's throne room during an important diplomatic event... I think it was the feast of a wedding? Either way, faux CRP happened and by the end of it almost everyone had been pelted at least once by flying baked potatoes. Naturally, said girl ended the conflict by rolling a nat 20 to airshot Kor'Garr right between the eyes with one of the balls of starch, and he faceplanted his way off of the front stage onto the court floor below. Good times.