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Say You'll Remember Me

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Spoiler

Some mood music.

So, where do I begin? Oh, with a trigger warning! Because this is gonna get deep.

 

I’ve played this server for quite a while, I’ve had my scandals, I’ve had my glory days. I’ve laughed and I’ve cried. I’m made friends and foes. 

 

When I first joined LoTC I had a pretty strong group of friends that I am happy to say I am still talking to all these years, and have all made such strong impacts on my life that I can never properly put into words how thankful I am for what they’ve done for me. As time went on I made new friends and our group separated, gained new faces, came back together. However, despite everything that happened to us we grew – for better or for worse. We called ourselves Equipe. We made a family and all applied together, where I made my first character – Kypris’dionne. During the first two years of my time on LoTC I used it as a safe place to escape the harsh reality of drug addiction and abusive environment that I was trapped in when I closed my laptop shut. Kypris was an over exaggerated and wild extension of myself, she embodied the confidence and I don’t care attitude I always begged for. In my eyes she was the most beautiful woman on the server and she was unstoppable, no one could tear her down and she was stronger than any obstacle that stood before her. That was something I always wished I had at the time. During these first few years I met players like Jake, Ventai, Aerial, Parkins, and Trinn. I would consider these my first real friends I made here on the server as they were the first people I developed genuine friendships with outside of our roleplay that oftentimes had our characters interacting. Later came Lhindir, Fury_Fire, and people like SpiffyTaylor, EdgyMagey, ImCookiie, Wiseacres, Gabuette, PessPess, Slayology, Cooliomafia, Violino, EternalSaturn, Starfelt, Illiran, Frott, Axelu, HeeroQueero, Imibee, Mr.Goosey, and so many more amazingly beautiful people. Sometimes I wish I wasn’t such a prideful *****, so I could really express to these people what they've done for me. However, there were times that this server brought people into my life that if you asked me now – I would’ve made different choices. 

 

This server has taught me a lot about myself, after about two years of playing LoTC I got into a very bad accident which landed me in the hospital, a blessing in disguise as I was finally able to find the exit door to escape the situation that plagued my reality, and when I finally came back I had these people. They kept me safe, they kept me grounded, and they kept me here today so I could write this overdramatic and extra goodbye post, in proper Luv fashion. Upon returning I had a thirst to take control, to do things in my life that I could see the immediate result of the actions. This caused me to become the problematic and controversial figure you all know me as today. I begged for the ability to have control to have the power of rule over my own fate – even if it was on something as small as a minecraft server. I took a leap of faith into LoTC staff where I met people that brought out evil in me. That brought out the weaknesses in me that I had worked so hard to hide and suppress. I think we all know one specific individual that I am commonly known to be the lapdog of. This taught me about the horrors of manipulation. That even though I had escape someone who used to put his hands on me for speaking when not spoken to, or used my naive nature of love for them to control me, I wasn’t immune and I wasn’t out of the woods. This taught me about the power held in people’s words, in the things they do, and the way someone can make you feel like you’re something that you’re not. People like this exist everywhere, and you can never be careful and you sometimes may never truly know somebody like you think you do. My word of advice to anyone suffering with specifically grooming or toxic relationships to seek help and to listen to your friends, you are more than someone’s evil fantasy, I wish I had. But, staff helped me meet amazing people too. I met Wiseacres, someone who got to live the LoTC Dream of being an Orenian Empress, a Frost Witch, and all those cool niche fantasy roles that I always begged to roleplay. She showed me the evil of the server, but she also showed me the amazing people and the potential this server has to do more than entertain you on a night when you finished your homework early. I met Tsuyose, who despite popular belief, was not always my personal Dark Arts sugar daddy. We actually hated each other until our characters collided over the meme around the time of the release of Suicide Squad – trust me I look back and HATE the Harley Quinn gifs too... I’m probably the most sorry to you all for THAT

 

My life took a spiral most recently as I lost my character, Kypris. Someone I had always seen as the hero I was holding out for. Every memory on this server I had was on her, and all of my bans for RP took place because of her – shocker if you’ve ever encountered her. She was PK’d in a way that I never expected for her, but was honestly quite poetic and brilliant. She died due to the faults of her own actions. Something that I never understood for the longest time of my life. When I close my laptop I live a much different life than many of you might expect. I am much happier now, I’ve been sober for a few months, and I’ve learned to value myself – even when I struggle with the idea of my own identity. However, Kypris was something that helped me and by extension this server and everyone on it, yes even those of you that still hate my guts for ET abuse in 2016. When she died I took another spiral. During month of March I met a boy with brown eyes, I hate brown eyes, and he most importantly saw me in the way I saw Kypris. He saw me for everything I used Kypris as, an attempt to become that *****. As most of you may know, this year was rough for me here from constant bans and scandals to fights with friends and the occasional concerning message left in a discord as a cry for help. However, this time, I did not become another victim to the boy with the brown eyes and just like the character I had created I had overcome the evil that I had unknowingly pluged back into. I beat addiction once again, I left another abusive relationship on my own accord, and I graduated from High School before I did that – I wasn’t going to be dragged down again.

 

I kind of ramble, and went all over the place with this... The moral of the story is that through my experiences here I have been able to grow as a person and I have been able to notice the faults in my own self and have learned to reflect on what I do – and of most importantly to think before I speak (I kinda pick and choose when I remember that, but I’m out of your hair now). This server taught me a lot. To all of you I am so thankful, and I don’t know if I’ll ever return – I think my hourglass has run out of sand. 

 

Below I left a few people some messages. If you got left out it’s probably just because my short attention span and small vocabulary of nifty words took a ****.

 

To the members of Equipe

Spoiler

Dorian, I love you so much and I am so glad we’re talking again. I always aspired to be like you and I always looked up to you in envy. I cannot thank you enough for welcoming me and taking a chance on me with the frost witches. That really meant a lot to me – you saw me for me and despite the stigma you took a chance on me. 

 

Grim, I’ll see you in a few months and you probably won’t read this because of my horrific grammar. Thank you for everything. From every long night call where you listened to me cry to every time we went out and RP’d crackhead dark mages in taverns who loved to use the word “*****”. I still have that promocode for the toys if you want it.

 

Jlyoko, I love and admire you. I’m so proud to see you happy with your lover and living as the fierce queen you are. I’ll be down there to tip you a dollar soon enough, but only a dollar because I only make two quarters per corner trick.

 

Dev, I currently have you muted because I can’t think straight with you singing the lyrics to Stacy. However I love you more than I can put into words. You know me more than anybody else, and you’re the only one who never gave up on me. I'll always think of you when I hear Roses, September, or any poorly done Nightcore song. FASTER FASTER! I can’t wait to see you this summer and to take on the world with you at my side.

 

To the Frost Witches

Spoiler

Thank you to most of you for teaching me that even if you’re nice and caring to people – mob mentality is a reality. However, not all of you were that bad and a few people in particular I’d like to thank specifically.

 

Gabuette, your such a talent artist with a contagious laugh and a witty personality. I’m so grateful for you and I couldn’t be more thankful for all the amazing pieces I’ve seen you bless us with. Also, there’s a snake in my booty.

 

Slayology, you’re an iconic blessing and you’re so much smarter and stronger than people give you credit for. You’ve always spoken highly of me even when there was nothing nice to say, and you’ve always been there for me when I needed a shoulder to cry on. And with that, I have one last thing to say: Hibachi, benihana teriyaki.

 

Pess, you’re beautiful and amazing and I’m so happy to have met and gotten to know you. You’re a lot cooler than everyone says you are too. Much love and I hope that we keep in touch.

 

Steelmemes, you smell and I honestly love you. You were always my favorite witch to RP with. I hope life’s treating you well.

 

To the residents of TRANSylvania

Spoiler

This is a meme not everyone here is trans or the like. These are just my *******.

 

Starfelt, we’ve had our ups and downs, but you’ve always undestood me. You’ve always heard what I had to say and you’ve always stuck up for me. I’m sorry I wasn’t always a good friend to you, but I hope that you find better people who will treat you as wonderfully as you’ve always treated me. Just remember, when I plant a cracka ***** I expect her ass to stay planted. Kisses xo

 

Eternal, you live so close to me that it’s stupid we haven’t hung out so I’m currently calling an Uber to your homestead. I also know that you slept with my husband and my first baby daddy. I love you so much and I can’t express to you how much every one of your empowering speeches uplifted me in times of need. I am so excited to see work you do when you nail that audition.

 

Axelu, you came out of no where. You jumped into my life and ever since then I’ve loved every moment of you. You’ve really showed me that good things come when you least expect it. I love you so much and I hope we keep in touch. I wish I could’ve cursed you.

 

Alright, I’m getting lazy and most of you I have on Snapchat or in discords. My discord is @愛君は#2390 so if you wanna reach out and keep touch let me know! But, with that I bid you all farewell. Until the sun rises in the west and sets in the east I wish you all the best. Even you, Jake from Gay Farm.

 

Spoiler

Image result for Harley quinn gif

You know I had to do it to em.

 

I’ll probably back later this year when my boyfriend inevitably leaves me for my prettier mister-sister. Or I’ll end up in a roadside ditch after a bad encounter with a Latin King. Comment which one you’d like to see in next week’s video!

 

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giphy.gif


See ya later b, don’t forget to occasionally message me on discord.

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I don’t want to believe you're leaving, and I don’t wanna say goodbye. So, just come back ❤️ 

 

Spoiler

Love you luv

Thanks for always being an incredible friend to me, my first friend. I have more to say yet everyone doesn’t need to know. 

 

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in no way shape or form did you ever compromise, and frankly that’s what I liked most about you beyond your blatant honesty with your views or opinions.


I simply wished I knew you at a better time.

stay safe and live well in life.

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see you on the flip side, loser. o7

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Bye 😞

gana miss my kharadeen fam...

keep in touch fam o7

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NO WTF THIS CANNOT BE REAL. THIS CANNOT BE REEEAAAL 😭😭😭😭😭

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Luv, you have no idea how much I have kept you in mind when I’ve decided to just be myself and forget the haters. You have helped me grow as a person and I will never be able to thank you enough for everything you have done since the moment we met. I have blossomed as a LGBTQ+ man thanks to your sassy ways and the ability that you have to connect with people of all kinds and from all different walks of life. I do, and always will, adore you and will always be here to give you hundreds of more inspirational speeches when someone does you dirty.

 

Catch me in Discord or on Insta, Sinister Sister! 💜

(I think the following gif sums up our personalities and friendship:)

 

az616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=537&h=7bc6a37ec

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I can’t say I’ll miss you and I’m positive others will feel the same. You were honestly a morally blind person, so high on your own fumes its unreal. I hope you learn some humility and respect for other people because otherwise you’re not gonna get far kiddo. You’re the textbook definition of a boy that just sits in his room and harasses others online simply because you don’t like them. I hope that’s changed in you, but I’m not going to hold my breath.

Have a nice life kid.

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I can’t say I’ll miss you but I can say this:

I hope you can find change after all the incidents on this server. A lot of people disliked you and I really wish you could find out why and fix that about yourself, everybody has issues but it’s never too late to change. From my experiences, you were always on a virtual high horse and simply harassed others you didn't like which is not okay. 

Please, find change and have a nice life. o7

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I still enjoy the fact that we can’t let a goodbye post be filled with something good. We all make mistakes, countless ones. We all aren’t perfect, but we shouldn’t let that be the main thing about a person. We aren’t a one worded story. 

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Luv, my main sinister sister, thank you sm for giving me a chance and being there for me, for making my day with your humor – Honestly, I’ve loved every moment I have had with you. You have my snap, insta, and discord so don’t be a stranger. ❤️ 

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