CharmingCavalier 1723 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Spoiler IT'S FOLKBALL FRIDAY!!!!!!!! Heartland Folkball League Championships XIII 1911 Heartland Folkball League in the Fields of Barrowton Brought to you by The Miller’s Mark, Good for whatever ales you! 1911 Bracket We whisk you away over the Arentanian Mountains to the setting of the 1911 Heartland Folkball League championship. It has become known to the officials of the HFL that in the hinterland village of Barrowton, our productions have a sizable following. Therefore, it was declared that the town should play host to the league’s next joyous celebration of community and sport. So to our leal readers, we come to you in this handbill to recount the glorious Twelfth Championship Tournament of Folkball, the sport of the Heartlands! After last year’s stunning performance by the New Vienne Upstreeters, and their mysterious giant that was unseen at the team’s arrival, many groups have gone home and practiced their strategies. Atrus fans are frothing for a victory, Minitzers demand results from their coach, and Bywater is just happy to be here! So, as always, lots were drawn and matches set. And then the play began the next morn. Game 1 Petran Suns vs Bywater Hedgehogs After several disastrous seasons, the Petran Suns have swiftly dropped in respect amongst the teams of the HFL. For the third year in a row, the Suns could not bring an entire team to the pitch, and it should be no surprise to onlookers as the city of Valfeur sits desolate and devoid of life. If you want a good fright, look to that ghost town, as it is rumored among the heartlanders that the ghosts of the Cuck’s War wander about, scaring the living from the land. As for the game, Petra showed up again with a team of three: Simon Cowl, Craig Gregerson, and Glenn Clarke. This time, Coach Peter Norton did not even bother to attend the affair and is said to have left Petra for greener pastures. With this pitiful display, the three remaining members offered a deal to the Halflings. They would intentionally throw the ball over the net and give the halffolk a half point, very rhymey! Bywater’s Coach, Flanagan Greenwhistle, agreed and ended the game moments after it had started as the Suns walked off the field. However, it could be seen that Craig Gregerson talked to Barrowton fans long after the performance and during the following day’s games. Does this signal a possible move from the deadlands of Petra to the dreadlands of Barrowton?! Game 2 Grenz Hurlers vs Adrian Black Barons The Hurlers and the Grenz squared off in the first vigorous action of the first day following the pitiful display of the Petrans. Fans erupted as Adrian half Leo Pold entered the field. It was told that he had a section of women so dedicated to him they wore shirts crudely depicting his face and generously providing for his physique. Nonetheless, the Grenz Hurlers took the field without their star, Heinrik Rarehird, who was grievously injured by Sedan’s Roberto il Toro. Their decisive offensive passing has been diminished as secondary half Willem Steav and replacement half Seth Hairytooth have been less than cooperative. It seems the entire team’s charm has been impacted by the loss of Rarehird. If he does not recover, the Hurlers could quickly find themselves relegated to the lowest portions of Folkball, especially with so many teams battling to gain a spot in the league. Nonetheless, the game was a defensive showing. Adrian netter Alec Ratiborison scored two half points, and co-netter Andrik Lethen scored another. Leo Pold, too distracted by his fans and pinned down by shielder Viktor Berenson was ineffective, to his screaming fan’s dismay. Willem Steav scored a single point on the opposing side, but it was not enough. The Hurlers were a half point behind as the final bell rang and went back to the cold Grenz with colder news. Game 3 Atrus Stars vs Minitz Mootgoers The Bauerbecken Vow stood strong last season. But now Minitz fans are frothing for a championship appearance. The team, having gotten out of the opening stages for the first time last year, is now prepared for a championship season. However, they were faced against the infamous southern immigrants, the Atrus Stars. For the first time since the beginning of the HFL, the owners of the Mootgoers made an appearance in a specially designed box along the pitchside. However, many were surprised to see the owners were not Reinmarian knights but Kralto-Malinorian outlanders with dark mauve skin. As the opening bell rang, the Blanc Cavaliere and Halfbert Pocke took at each other. Both halfs were so thoroughly invested in beating each other in heavy armor that they scored very little. Instead, netter Rafail Moor scored three goals for the Stars, and secondary half Gither von Volburg scored two for Minitz. After the half-bell, the Stars shielder, Alekos Georgopoulos, effectively deterred the netters back to their posts and neutralized their offense. Meanwhile, the Stars continued to score while Halfbert and Reinhart Wilhelm were pinned by Alfredo Canto. This failure on the part of the Mootgoers led to the Stars victory, though the vow to never get shutout was still upheld by Coach Bauerbecken. Game 4 Sedan Goats vs New Vienne Upstreeters The New Vienne Upstreeters, after an impressive victory last season in their home fields, returned to Barrowton with a determination but an aura of mischief. Specifically, the HFL is still investigating if Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, was involved in paying Roberto il Toro to permanently injure Hurler’s legendary half, Heinrik Rarehird. Notably, Rarehird is the biggest competition to the arm of Upstreeter’s half Charles ‘the Fish’ Fisherman. So, some speculate, the intention was to make Fisherman the star of the HFL by taking out the only other impressive arm in the league. Nonetheless, enough speculation. The game began with an impressive goal from Louis du Ballon, who managed to kick (not throw) a ball into the net after feinting the netters with his intricate footwork. Nonetheless, this was Ballon’s only goal. Coach Filippo Jacoson’s prodigy has to make a lot of improvements before he is ready to face teams like the Upstreeters. By the final bell, New Vienne was up by three points thanks to an impressive four nets by the Fish. His play with secondary half Simon Bishop is so immaculate that it makes many question if anyone will be able to beat the Upstreeters. However, Thoric Bloodshield, the giant of New Vienne, was unseen during this match or the previous day’s affairs. Is it possible King Charlie ordered his team to leave the beast behind so far from home? Semi-Finals 1 Bywater Hedgehogs vs Adrian Black Barons After their first trip to the Championships last season, the Adrian Black Barons were ready to return. They dismissed the notion that the halflings would threaten that success. Famously, the Hedgehogs and Barons have had a troubled past. The coaches, Flanagan Greenwhistle and Rikhein Ingrid are rumored to despise one another. Both teams went into the match intent on brutalizing their opponents. The Devilish Duo of Bywater, Richard Longstride and Tegan Smoothhands, took straight away to beating the Adrian half, Leo Pold, to the ground using the patented knee-chops of Obidiah Longfoot. Leo Pold’s screaming girls in the stands could not take to see this brutality and rushed the field. When the women were finally pulled off the trio of folkballers, all three were bloodied and ridden with scratch marks. They were carried off the field in litters. Play continued with officials clearing the field and having the three taken to the priests on the sidelines for inspection. Baron’s netter, Alec Ratiborison, shut down the little offensive pushes of Longfoot, who, without his halfs, was the only one left to score without leaving their goal undefended. Heinrik Franzoc and Hugh Heffher racked up an impressive three points and closed the game out for the Adrianites. Semi-Finals 2 Atrus Stars vs New Vienne Upstreeters The Stars and the Upstreeters took each other on during the tournament’s third day. This evening’s game was wonderfully lit by the lowering sun of the over-Arentania plains and the thousands of excited onlookers clustered around the dusty dirt pitch of the western extent of humanity. Notably, New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, was not seen during this game and was supposedly being questioned by HFL officials in a distant tent. With the opening bell, the Blanc Cavaliere took to covering Charles Fisherman. Although the Fish does wear a colored gambeson, his padding was no match for the plates of the Cavaliere. Throughout the game, the Upstreeters had to rely on the efforts of Charles Fisherman and the net work of Merrett the Brown Knight. The Stars relied on the net tossing of Rafail Moor and the catching, running, and shooting of Alfredo Canto. However, sometime in the second half, the Cavaliere was struck from behind by Jaremy Smith. Placing his shield on the knight’s knee, he struck down, and the knight could be heard screaming southern profanities amongst cries for his comrades’ help. This brief pause in the defense allowed Charles Fisherman to masterfully score two goals and march the Upstreeters back from a deficit to a half-point lead. Although the priests of Atrus were seen praying for the team, their prayers did little. The Upstreeters’ fans quickly started rallying around the cry that the cup was “staying home,” in reference to last year’s chant that the cup would be ‘coming home’ to the capital of the Heartlands. Championships Adrian Black Barons vs New Vienne Upstreeters Amazingly, the 1911 tournament brought together the same two finalists as the 1910 season, the Adrian Black Barons and the New Vienne Upstreeters. The Barons, riding off their victory and the newly bustling city of Velec, came up against the Upstreeters, who may definitively be one of the best teams in all of the Heartlands. This would be a rematch for the history books. As the morning settled in and the teams made their way onto the pitch, the sidelines were quieter than a Canonist mass. From the tents of the Upstreeters lumbered the Beast of Vienne, Thoric Bloodshield. This hulking giant had just the previous year been ejected from the match after chucking Hugh Heffher and his shield dozens of yards into the crumbling walls of Vienne. Heffher was seen requesting a substitution from coach Ingrid, who sent in novice, token shielder Aleksei Vakera to replace the mainstead. As the opening bell rang, the Baron’s shielder, Aleksei Vakera, quickly outmaneuvered the dull giant. He used the fence sides of the pitch to launch himself onto the shoulder of the giant and began to punch at the shoulders and back of the beast. It was a truly heroic showing that made many fans clap furiously for the Beast’s demise. They had finally found the counter to the Upstreeter’s secret weapon! However, Thoric Bloodshield did not take kindly to this offense. With a mammoth movement of energy, the beast grabbed Vakera by the waist and began to beat him on the ground as a child does a toy he does not care for. His tangled remains were then chucked out of the pitch to the shrieking of fans. Officials rushed to eject Bloodshield, but it was too late. Vakera lay dead, and the priests were powerless to help him. After confirming the news, officials announced that play would resume by Thoric Bloodshield was officially banned from all future Folkball league matches for the entirety of his miserable life. As the increasingly macabre affair marched on, the Fisherman demonstrated his usual skill and sailed in three nets. Leo Pold, notably damaged from his match against Bywater and in shock about the loss of a teammate, did not muster a single goal. All three of the half points scored by the Barons were a result of the net work of Alec Ratiborison. However, even Ratiborson couldn’t stop the Fish! By the final bell, the Upstreeters led by two points, and they had claimed their second back-to-back championship, the first in league history! Nevertheless, the following feast day was filled with news that shook the HFL. New Vienne’s coach, Greg Miller, had also been permanently proscribed from the league for his involvement with the maiming of Hurler’s half, Heinrik Rarehird, in the previous season. According to officials, Miller paid Roberto of the Sedan Goats to purposely injure Rarehird to prevent the Hurlers from reaching the finals. Roberto has similarly been banned from the HFL. So, as scandal rocks the HFL, we close out our handbill with a call for good people to enjoy the company of their neighbors. Take to the fields and play the sport because despite the chicanery about these matches, the heart of folkball is spending time playing a sport we love! So, until next year, dearest readers and Folkball enthusiasts. Until next year! Congratulations to the Winners! of the Heartland Folkball League Championships XIII THE NEW VIENNE UPSTREETERS! List of Champions 1899 ……… Petran Suns 1900 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1901 ……… Florentine Bulls 1902 ……… Florentine Bulls 1903 ……… Florentine Bulls 1904 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1905 ……… Petran Suns 1906 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1907 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1908 ……… Grenz Hurlers 1909 ……… Bywater Hedgehogs 1910 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters 1911 ……… New Vienne Upstreeters (This Year) List of Most Valuable Folk 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Heinrik Rarehird (Grenz Hurlers) 1908 (Joint MVF)……… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1909 …………………… Jerry Applebuck (Bywater Hedgehogs) 1910 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 1911 …………………… Charles Fisherman (New Vienne Upstreeters) 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
MadOne 3386 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Brandt Barclay, as he was in the stands starts frothing at the mouth after the second loss of the Mootgoers, tossing his pint cup at the nearest Balianite fan with rage. He yells a provocative remark towards them, and turns toward the nearest Minitz Mootgoers fan and goes on one of his famous rants; "We made a massive error. But we didn't ******* deserve to win this game. We didn't deserve to win it!! Why do our fans keep going; 'Ohh, we should've done this that ohh, we should've won the fuckin' game, ohh, we would've won if it wasn't for Halfbert Pocke~' No! We didn't deserve to win that game because we weren't ******* good enough! Do you understand that? The reason why we aren't good enough is because the manager is not good enough!" Brandt then pauses to point an accusing finger from the stands towards the owners of the club, yelling towards them to no avail; "You let all the fans down. You should be ashamed of yourself! Do you know what I mean? My seven year old cousin can do better than that! The god damn owners will not come down and give an apology to the fans here, because they are too ******* arrogant! Do you know what I mean?!" He yells, turning to another raging Minitz fan. "I'm telling you, mate. You can't have a hundred and eighty thousand minas in the bank and play Reinhart Wilhelm, who just got off from destroying the Pagan God shrine with the Warband! And yet people are booing him, because he's made a mistake. The reason he made the mistake, is because he shouldn't have been in the pitch in the first place! He was KNACKERED from that fight! What is going on with this club?!" After all his rant, Brandt groans and starts to smoke a Barcston cigarette to calm down. 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Miniguy15736 398 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Overheard in Neu Brandthoff after the Mootgoers' defeat: “He got me,” Halfbert said of Alfredo's play against him. "That f***ing Alfredo boomed me." Halfbert added, “He’s so good,” repeating it four times. Halfbert then said he wanted to add Alfredo to the list of players he works out with this summer. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ramon 3965 Share Posted February 10, 2023 Ottomar, after the end of the folkball match catches another Minitz Mootgoers fan making a commentary about the game that they've just lost yet again; "...But, von Volburg gets the ball, Pocke equalises, it's a different game. We were two-nil down..." Ottomar, witnessing this absolute bullshit speech suddenly interrupts the commentating man. "Oh, rubbish! Absolute rubbish!" He yells towards the fellow fan, who promptly repilies; "What do you mean rubbish? Huh? No, no, don't interrupt me. Why are you talking to me? Have I finished? Why are you swearing at me for?" Ottomar looks towards the fan, and takes off his mootgoers cap, throwing it to the floor. "Ja, that's all you are happy with! But this is the problem with this club, people like you! Last season, We've lost by four and a half points. Four and a half!! Set a record for being absolutely shit. These are the same players, and there is still nothing there! Yes, I will criticise the player selection and Bauerbecken as well! Wilhelm should've started, soon as he came on, we were the focal point. We looked like we wanted it. And he was strong. He was powerful. He played well. But the biggest thing for me, was Pocke. What were you thinking? What did you do? Thirty minutes, and I should know this, for I've drunk with him; he's a fat bastard, He obviously knows, that you don't get two yellows in thirty minutes! It's a disgrace! I understand, that he may have been putting the performances in on the training ground, but on the pitch he gives us NOTHING! What the **** is wrong with this club?!?!" Spoiler I love folkball friday 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GoodGuyMatt 7064 Share Posted February 10, 2023 A raging Ludrik Katzak goes Bosnan mode within his home in Neu Brandthof as the Mootgoers lose once again. He begins cursing in Old Reinmaren as he holds a Barcston cigarette in his hand. "IK SE TQIVA ROBT! O KURVICA KOO O KUR SHPARO! IK QEN IK! RREZOHU MER SHKERDHAT, RREZOHU O HAJDUT O HAJDUT. O HAJDUT MU-" those nearby who didn't speak old Reinmaren probably did not want to know the translation... 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shmeepicus 3942 Share Posted February 10, 2023 A Balianite fan is knocked in the head by an aerial pint of ale. He glances around- looking for the thrower. Stories are told in days passing of a great and glorious brawl between the Minitz Mootgoer fans and the Atrus Stars' fans alike. Alexander, makes a comment about it to his daughters. "Well- both us and the Minitz folk are quite passionate about the sport.. hopefully no one was hurt too seriously." He chuckled after hearing of the debacle. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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