Hypocrisy in the Hen House

[Pancakehz 1697]

Hypocrisy In the Hen House

By the Authority and Will of The Dwed Who Boinked Your Ma

Issued on, 13th of Sun’s Smile, 136

 

To The People That Are Reading This,

     On the 8th of Sun’s Smile, within this fortnight, a dwarven party of six, led by Lord Justicar Thromdrick Irongut, entered the capital city of Norland, Vjardengrad, seeking an audience with King Balon Ash. Blah blah blah-

 

[!] The ink drifted off with the last blah.

 

     You’ve heard this all before and I am too old to care to rewrite the accounts of the meeting that was had. I have met Balon Ash, as I have met his father, his grandfather, his great grandfather, and his father before him. In fact, some of them I broke bread with and could call friend. I recall sitting beside Javier Ruric and Jory Ruric as we together plotted the demise of the tyrannical Orenian Empire that waited at our doorstep like a rabid dog. Though those times are long passed, I still take interest in Norlandic culture and study it thoroughly. This leads me to question recent events and claims of the Norlandic regime. Shall we begin…

 

[!] The ink trailed off again, the sign of a dwarf tired of bickering.

 

     Shall I begin at the root of this conflict? On the day that Balon Ash was crowned as the King of Norland, Bakir Ireheart joined in the festivities to celebrate with those he considered friends. Upon entering the gate, Bakir Ireheart was verbally provoked by a nearby Guardsman. The guards intentions were unclear, though backed by malice to be certain. Bakir, however, ignored these verbal assertions, and continued onwards to celebrate with the Norlandic folk. While inside, Bakir noticed an elf, one which he identified as being part of the Vale of Nevaehlen. Admittedly, Bakir was enraged by their presence, as he harbored resentment for previous actions committed by their administration. Dwedmar are known to harbor grudges and resentment towards those they believe to have wronged them. Bakir Ireheart approached the elf, issuing insults and verbal disorder in their direction.

 

     After a very brief conversation, Bakir, overcome with his anger, punched one of the elves in the arm, leaving an arguably unnoticeable dent in the otherwise untouched metal. Though in the wrong, Bakir, who very clearly possessed a weapon, attempted no further conflict with the elf, leaving it at just the irrelevant punch to the arm. Immediately after the altercation, Bakir was surrounded by a Norlandic guard on the order of King Balon Ash. With weapons drawn, and deadly force seeming to be a viable option for the party, they apprehended Bakir, who offered no resistance. When Duren Ireheart stepped forth, offering to barter as a representative of Clan Ireheart, he was attacked from behind by a guardsman of Norlandic origin. If not for the Clan Fathers quick reflexes, he himself would have been slain for merely speaking up. Though he parried the blow and got himself to safety. 

 

     As punishment for the accused crime of assault, King Balon Ash beat, tortured, and took the hand of Bakir Ireheart, leaving him maimed. Without trial, the sentence was carried out and King Balon Ash went on his merry way, seemingly providing an iron fisted reputation for his reign. Allow me to present my issues with these events. Below you will find excerpts from the Norlandic Code of Laws.

 

 

Spoiler

Article I: The Common Law

Conventional Crimes

Assault: Directed, intentional violence, outside of common brawling, with the intent or end result of bodily injury.

 

Article IV: Entitlements of the Citizen

Section III: Rights of the Foreigner

The Right to Equal and Fair Treatment under the laws of the Kingdom of Norland

 

Article VIII: Criminal Punishment

Section V: Banishment: Exile from the lands of Norland, be it permanent or temporary. Suitable for repeated violations of honor codes or crimes such as burglary or assault.

 

 

     As is clearly visible to those of us with functioning eyes, Bakir Ireheart had the right to be tried and convicted legally. Furthermore, his accused crime was befitting of Banishment from the land of Norland, not beating, torture, and maiming. Aside from the fact that Bakir was not granted a fair trial, his punishment far outweighed the crime. Duren Ireheart, aiming to be a mediator to avoid further diplomatic issues, was assaulted as well. Not by a fist or a punch but with deadly intent. Was his aggressor punished? The answer remains no to this day. When posed with this question, King Balon Ash turned his back on Grand King Garedyn. He asked whether Duren was actually harmed, though according to the Norlandic Law he claims to be upholding, it matters not whether harm was dealt but rather the intent.

 

     Shall I delve further into the law? Why not, I ask myself. It was not as if Bakir and Duren arrived uninvited to this coronation. In fact, Grand King Garedyn personally received an invitation explicitly stating that his kin were welcome. Assuming Bakir did in fact violate the law, a just punishment of Banishment was to be expected, but what of Duren? Duren merely spoke up to act as a mediator and ease tension. Given that the order to apprehend Bakir was given by King Balon Ash, can the blame for Duren’s assault not also fall on his shoulders? Would this not put him in violation of Article III: Codes of Honor where it states that an Honor of Deed is to never bring harm to his guests nor those who would host him?

 

     Let it be clear to all that our argument is not that Bakir committed no wrong, rather that just punishment was waived in favor of egotistical posturing on behalf of the King, Balon Ash. 

 

     For all the laws you claim to uphold, you seem lacklusterly well versed in them, King Balon. This could have simply been settled, but your ego and need to be right, which likely began trying to earn your fathers approval, outweighed your sound mind.

 

     Nowhere in your laws does it explicitly condone the maiming of an accused criminal without fair trial, let alone the attempted murder of a bystander who merely wished to invoke peace between parties. Your denial and unwillingness to admit any fault speaks volumes to the plague of egocentric and erratic behavior that befalls you. I may be an Ireheart, but I can read. These laws are currently accepted as the laws of your lands, yet you do not uphold them.

 

Signed,

Gror Ireheart Lover of Thy Mother

 

Spoiler

Proofreading Credits:

sneakybandit

Elitesnipes

 

[sneakybandit 1503]

Darek Irongrinder pats his long time friend Gror Ireheart on the back, happy to see his writing and reading skills have improved!

[AnonymousAlexa 3877]

"I have never seen this law codex in my life," says Hilda.

[Jihnyny 2572]

"Oire'ear's can read? Wo' t'a fok?!" Thráin falls backwards from his chair, astonished.

[AstriaS 3709]

In the distant afterlife, Alisa Camian was well-pleased that, unlike at any time during her own long life, a foreigner had taken the time to read her most beloved codex of Norlandic law. However, she also wondered if perhaps times had changed enough since her passing from the mortal world to warrant the issue of a new codex. Alas, she was far too dead to do it herself, and she found this regrettable.

[Mannamannaa 1626]

Kor'garr immediately begins taking notes upon a spare copy of the legal argument within the Kaktuz Weekli office in San'Briu. A wide smile curls around thick tusks as he rumbles. 

"Hozh. More Truuthz, more invormazhun."