liz

THE LIYAR of PETRUH TO THE ARCH-MEANIE WEENIE BO BEANI OF PETRUH, eye’ve alwees thot wee’r frinds butt it seems tuh mee yew ar a deeceever and a liyar uf the most evilest swart. nawt olny did yew hiyde frum mee for yeers n yeers, an tel yor peepol to help. yew all-sow chewsed yer grumpy ole prince merry-is all-dee-mar ovur mee an plaided darts with hem wen eye just wanned ta tok to yew and interdews to yew meye bestestestest frind (culd bee yew so ya no) allie-on-ner . iff yew evur wonna c mee uhgen, yeew gotsa sey sorri for me. iff nalt, the keds uf haynse arr comin for ya. TRANSLATION: with haytred and lotsa sandness LORENA JOSEFINA GANT OF HOUSE GANT

"It has been an honour, Sviatoslav." Remarked Ophelie, offering her Lord Marshal one last salute.

Issued on this Fourteenth of TOV AG YERMEY, 461 E.S. KRUSAE ZWY KONGZEM VA BIRODEO HERZENAV AG EDLERVIK, With the tragic passing of HRM King Karl III and HRM Queen Amadea of Susa, the time has come for the next generation to be ushered in. With high hopes for a prosperous future under HRM King Georg, the Aulic Envoy sees fit to organize a grand fete to be held in his honour immediately following the completion of his coronation rites. TIMETABLE OPENING TOURNEY: Upon the closing of the coronation rites of King Georg I, a grand tourney will be held within the Hippodrome, the winner of which will be named the new Grand Champion of Karosgrad. TAVERN NIGHT: On the 16th of Msitza and Dargund ((Monday, January 23, @5:00pm EST), Haeseni denizens and allies of the crown are invited to participate in a night of revelry within the Goat’s Lookout tavern in the city square, with card readings from the illustrious Rosie-Posie as well as a drunken brawl to finish off the night. ROYAL HUNT: On the 13th eve of Jula and Piov ((Thursday, January 26, @Time TBD), the Master of the Hunt will lead a party into the Queenswood for a hunt, the quarry of which will be prepared at a feast within the hunting lodge. CLOSING BALL: On the 17th day of Vzmey and Hyff ((Friday, January 27, @5:30pm EST), the revelry will be brought to a close with a ball within the Morrivi’s ballroom. IV JOVEO MAAN, Her Excellency, Lady Ophelie de Falstaff, Aulic Envoy of Hanseti-Ruska Her Excellency, Lady Viorica Irena Kortrevich, Grand Lady of Hanseti-Ruska

Lorena Gant watched in awe as her father and the Duke Vidaus spoke.

Ophelie de Falstaff, who had long admired the Viscountess's wit (among other things), wept.

The long-dead Baroness Carrington gave an excited cry as she watched her daughter cross the threshold into the Seven Skies. "Oh, welcome home, my dove!" She sung, tears of joy filling her eyes.

Ophelie de Falstaff silently mourned the woman she might have called mother, in another life.

The Morrivi was cold – colder than usual – and though she sat before a raging fire, Ophelie could not keep herself from trembling. Honesty was all she ever sought in this world, but the practice of that showy ideal was more than she could bare. “I know my son,” were the words echoing through her mind, a cruel taunt and a divine kindness all the same, as she sat rigidly still in one of the palace’s myriad antechambers. This place was her home – Karl had said so himself – but it felt distant and chilly. She scarcely recognized it now that the truth had so shattered the illusion she had created for herself. The King spoke out of kindness, not cruelty, but there existed an unshakeable feeling inside of her that the ailing man had acted out of malice – that he left her thusly as a wicked method of ensuring he was remembered. She knew it was nonsense, but what was she to do other than rebuild the fortress of delusion she had once sat so loftily atop? “You are Haeseni,” the King had said. It was all she ever longed for: an admission that, although her blood was Orenian, her heart beat along with the drums of Haeseni war. And though the words should have brought her comfort, they brought only the familiar sting of shame the woman had known all her life. She was a coward and a fake, relying on the kindness of others to prop her up: Georg, Valdemar, Marius, Karl. Each of them had provided fleeting comfort – fleeting warmth – but perhaps she would never quite recover from that frigid trek from Guise to Karosgrad all those years ago. Perhaps no amount of warmth could sate her. She knew that Karl would be dead within the day, and even that she tried to deny. He is strong. He is mighty. He is King. But even the mightiest among men must die, and no one, not even a King, was God. Karl had assured her that God would be merciful to both of them, but something in her wished it were not true. Karl certainly deserved His grace: he had created something beautiful, he had strengthened Haense, and he left behind a family who loved him dearly. What had she done? She wished, perhaps a sign of her lingering naivete, that she could take his place. She wished she could die in his stead -- face God's wrath for all her sins -- and that he could go on living and ruling. Marius could live without her, but not without his father. She wished that she were strong enough to do it – to spare her love the pain she knew so well – but she knew in her heart of hearts that she was not. King Karl III died a matter of hours after their last words were spoken: "Krusae Zwy Kongzem," and Ophelie lived on.

"The drums of war are as ceaseless as the seasons," remarked a disillusioned Ophelie de Falstaff.

Ophelie de Falstaff quietly mourned the late Queen-Mother.

One Ophelie de Falstaff donned a scowl upon reading the missive, her pallid features contorting with disgust. "The so-called Ladies of this nation are just as rotten as I left them. One would have hoped the years had made nuns of them, and yet..." To whom the Ashford spoke was as much a mystery as any, but she continued nevertheless to carry on. "This sort of vile drivel drags humanity further from God's light each day."

Zoya vas Ruthern snickered faintly upon reading the missive, having picked it up from the very same table the Duchess had placed it on. "Mikhail, a close confidante of her Majesty!" Remarked the former Grand Maer snidely. "My successor must have the best contacts on the kongzem, for even his family knew niething of this relationship."

OMG I LOVE LOUISJ17 OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I LOVE BUFFSANTA!!!

Unknown, The Reveler’s Yacht, c. 415 Issued by the Office of the Grand Maer of Karosgrad on this 9th of Joma ag Umund, 433 E.S. KRUSAE ZWY KONGZEM VA BIRODEO HERZENAV AG EDLERVIK, As the Haeseni people move into midsummer and the year’s heat reaches its apex, the Office of the Grand Maer invites the Haeseni populace to embark on a sea voyage atop the flagship of the Crown Fleet, specially decorated for the occasion. Attendees will enjoy a feast of freshly prepared aquatic cuisine, as well as a good deal of games and activities in which to participate. Attendees are additionally encouraged to bring along a spare set of garments, as some activities will involve getting into the water. ITINERARY WATER JOUSTING: Contestants will be grouped into pairs and assigned a dinghy to commandeer. One member of each pair will be given a sparring blade with which they will attempt to tip their opponents’ boat, while the other member of the duo will be charged with rowing. KING OF THE HILL: Contestants will be given sparring blades and assigned one simple task: to take, and keep, their spot at the top of a boulder. Winners are dubbed the ‘King of the Hill.’ FISHING COMPETITION: Attendees will each be given a fishing rod and challenged to catch the most fish within a designated time period. The victor will be made the evening’s guest of honor. BANQUET: After a long, rewarding day of activities, attendees will have the chance to enjoy a bounteous feast prepared from the day’s catches. IV JOVEO MAAN, The Honorable, Zoya vas Ruthern, Grand Maer of Karosgrad, Deputy Treasurer of Hanseti-Ruska

"Expected," remarked a member of the Opposition (Ops).