Songwitch

I really don't want to discredit your work, but this does not execute the purpose or the effects of an actual rewrite and while, sure, semantics and interchangeable words do not matter much, all I can see here is that existing spells from the current lore page have simply been expanded upon with further detail (that it had been lacking up until now) that had been missing from the submission as a whole. Clearly, I appreciate that some spells were given the same love that other evocations have, but I'd like to go in-depth about these changes that you have kindly highlighted for me. Half of the water's properties redlines are already within current lore. The nature-druid interaction is rather interesting and I am glad that people are taking it into consideration whenever they write anything that may otherwise potentially harm nature, and while I will delve not much in this aspect because I personally think that evoked water (as being from the Void) shoud provoke a twisted song, I'd like to say that I cannot really see any of these new changes other than a few reworded paragraphs AND in actuality, I have just noticed that there are some crucial redlines missing from this rewrite such as the following: (Water Properties) "Water cannot be consumed nor provide any nutrients, due to the fact that it requires line of sight and maintenance from the caster. Should one attempt to ingest it, they will receive no benefit as the water would simply vanish the second it leaves the mage’s sight." I'm unsure whether you had intended this for whatever reason, or if it was simply missed, but overall the point that I am trying to get across is that this submission only seems like an amendment post made and based in on the rest of evocations, taking after their "unique" spells (this is not an attempt at making a 'dig' or anything, i'm putting it in quotes because literally every spell across the evocations is one way or the other the same in terms of capacity). I understand that this magic is underwhelming and rather underpowered in comparison with any other voidal evocation, but why should that matter? Why do the four evocations need to be on par with one another in terms of combat practicality and utility? The answer is they do not. I don't think each one of them should be arguably as "strong" as one another.. There is so much more that could be achieved through voidal magic if we simply shifted from the way we do and have been doing things. Again, I just don't like this submission simply because despite the amount of detail that has been further implemented into the abilities, in its most devolved and natural form, the lore has not changed. It is the same stuff--the same abilities with slightly more detailed interactions and further defined ways of casting each spell (such as for water whip and storm calling, which by the way i do not consider to be a completely new ability because that is literally and without any offense hailstorm divided in three different types; water, ice, snow). When I hear the word rewrite, I expect drastic change. Something (actually) completely new and different to current, old lore. I have always thought that every evocation should have different ability arsenals and/or mechanics that solely vary on the fact that each element is different; studying earth is not like studying air, or water, or even fire, and this should be reflected somehow. Water does an exceptional job at fulfilling the "defensive" archetype (even if it has not been executed well with the currently accepted submission) and its abilities absolutely could resemble this conceptualization. These could be replaced by non-conventional and non-generic abilities that could distinguish water evocation from the rest instead of slightly thematically different variances of the other evocations' abilities (like the ones i have mentioned and now for example this write's water barrier being able to mimick the deflect ability from air evocation). Overall I just would like to see spells that are somewhat unique to each evocation rather than have all of them do the same thing to some degree (as all of them share the same combat capacity due to their abilities being what some would assume to be copy and pasted mechanics). My headcanon for water was versatility and/or protection/utility, like keeping water shield, water whip and water wave/summon wave (this ability is actually in current lore, you may have missed it), but getting rid of the rest and replace them with other new abilities that better suit the whole concept of letting water distinguish itself from the other elements. Some abilities I had in mind were: (1) water geyser (replacement of water projectile/blast), allowing water mages to have access to a somewhat combative ability that is arguably unique to its theme and elemental perception; or (2) water shield/tidemaking (replacement for water shield with an extended mechanic that unlocks based on tier progression), allowing water mages to summon their own variation of a shield spell while also being able to, at later tiers, cast the same spell but on a larger scale, allowing them to summon a tide and encase their enemy in what would be a cage/trap (this is bit anime lol but i thought that water evocation could potentially do very cool stuff if and when properly put into words). I have more ideas that I have been noting down over the last few months as I admittedly have been working on a large project to completely overhaul voidal magic as a whole (a project that i have shamelessly neglected), and I will be more than glad to share them with you in private. "I added to enchanting a new DEEP ICED, Which is super strong ice that is bound to Arcanium frames for use of Art, Gates, or weapons which is a nice, useful enhancement to enchantment." I'm particularly not too fond of this either because I personally think it may infringe on the overall niche that Frost Witches have regarding ice manipulation and cursed ice (which is basicaly deep iced but non-void sourced). This is just a personal nitpick and irrelevant to the point that I am trying to make above. Nevertheless I am glad to see that efforts are still being made to water evocation, and while I do not really support the idea that this suffices the purpose behind a rewrite, few of these changes do highlight some details that have been missing from the lore page for a while (such as for water whip, particularly enjoyed the clarification on that one). Please refer to the message above.

i don't like it simply because there is nothing in this rewrite that actually changes anything from current lore in terms of either theme, mechanics, or overall conceptualization. it just seems like a new format was slapped on it with a few re-named abilities and reworded paragraphs (no offense). my suggestion to you when you write lore is that you actually write it with other people; i have worked solo on my own projects before and they have not gone according to what i had envisioned, not by a long shot. what you need is somebody reviewing what you write before you go ahead and post it, and you should probably give your lore submissions a bit of time to either let other insightful readers provide you with their opinions or so that you can ensure that the piece will actually be any distinguishable from current lore (because being brutally honest, expanding on the only tier five ability and dividing it in three types does not really achieve the purpose of a rewrite). format is pretty but other than that, what has actually changed in the magic? overall i personally don't like reinforcing the (very true) stereotype that voidal evocations are solely and purely intended for combat. i'd rather see rewrites that actually aim towards detracting from this stigma and not pieces that have been rushily written for no particular reason (because this could have come way sooner and in a much more drastic bundle of changes).

You are missing the whole point and trying to deflect. The whole conceptualization that comes with the idea of atronachs at large is fundamentally, when devolved to its most natural state, the same altogether--each subtype under this specific lore branch is as a whole a derivative of the main and general design written in for an atronach, and literally the only difference that significantly distinguishes each different subtype is their classification divided in liquid and/or solid (which disproves any notion that the types of atronachs listed down are any dissimilar from one another, because every solid atronach and every liquid atronach is able to achieve the same potential described in your examples in every capacity; they are all the same). What you don't understand, and what I am trying to point out, is the fact that you think somebody posting lore for something that is heavily reliant on following the established theme (both in terms of conceptualization and abilities) of the magic lore that it is being based on is plagiarizing your underdeveloped ideas--atronachs are by far one of the only submissions that leaves little room to one's imagination when paired up with another lore page (because as mentioned it then relies on the thematical mechanics of said lore), so it is going to be unavoidable for endproducts to not be consistent with one another. Immediately jumping to the conclusion that your "work" has been stolen when you hadn't even provided an actual definitive design for the ideas (not abilities) that you shared in a public platform is simply perplexing and you should probably shift from that approach towards concepts tied with something that you have written in the past. Your ideas couldn't have differed much from what Tree had been working on since December of last year and to think otherwise is essentially feeding into a delusion, and that is the point that I am trying to make. Just have common sense when it comes to these things, especially so if you are aiming to deliver unsubstantiated accusations that lead nowhere like the one from before. I have already explained what you did not understand in both previous messages. Atronachs in general are fundamentally structured in the very same fashion and thematic approach; meaning that no, none of the subtypes differ from one another any more than what their types (solid and liquid) allow them to. They are inherently the same thing with a series of traits and capacities that slightly vary depending on the affinity of whatever external lore is being used (the evocations and now conjuration), and semantics regarding one or two abilities that may somewhat dissimilate a certain subtype from another are wholly unnecessary because the point still stands true--whether it be fire, water, air, or earth (disregarding telekinesis for this in specific), every subtype is essentially the same thing, the same concept: they all either take after the characteristics related to the type of atronach that they have been written as, solid or liquid. An ice atronach (solid) can achieve the same purpose that you had described as an example evident of earth atronachs--why? Because they are fundamentally the same, being the same type of atronach with a slight variance in terms of abilities and combat utility. Same goes for liquid atronachs and their many different subtypes. I'm going to simply say that harassment goes a long, long way beyond insults and (direct or subtle) verbal aggressions. You don't earn respect by making lore. Nor should you expect it any more than any other person on this server simply because you wrote lore for a magic archetype that takes precedence in server history and general fantasy niches.

People tweaking like the whole concept of Atronach isn't CTRL + C and then CTRL + V... There's nothing original about this specific lore (referring to atronachs as a whole). You can't possibly accuse someone of plagiariasm (directly or subtly so) about something that they've written because it is similar or alike to what you had in mind and what you publicly divulged in a discord without defined mechanics; meaning that no, your abilities were not stolen because you had ideas about how they could work. They were unfinished products that somebody else is free to take inspiration from (and so they have) because this is not real life. You don't own the rights to your intellectual property to the same degree that you may do outside of the server, and if you think you do, please change that mindset ASAP. It's just baffling to think that an atronach submission, out of everything, has been plagiarized from (once again) ideas that were hardly formulated with any overly descriptive detail, mechanics, or redlines. This lore is literally the same thing but with a different font and a different aesthetic based on the magic used; there is little room to the imagination, so obviously endproducts are going to be rather congruent and similar with one another. Overall just start using common sense, thanks @LoTC's Next Top Model

A woman waits.

The world shook, engorged in wreaths of voidal energies and the catastrophic remains of some antediluvian monster’s invasion–earth and sky turned hazardous, blighted not unlike the east once used to be. All bore witness to this phenomenon of calamity, but a few sages graced with the gift to see beyond what most do were the only ones to grasp the crude truth. Every Veil Watcher found within Almaris felt an unbalance. A disruption in their very being. It began with swelling of the cheeks and quickly progressed with ringing of the ears. Blood itself churned so rapidly that it sung, tainted with the magical essence found in the mage. Only then was their brain affected. ZAP - The vision was enrooted through every neuron, deep within one’s conscience while drowning any and every other thought. “Today, we unweave that which my avarice once crafted.” An ancient wizard drawled in quiet declaration. “Break the wheel. Preserve our folly!” The Veil’s integrity rumbled. Some interplanar rift was being disturbed at the behest of a madman’s command. “Halt.” - “There is a give and take. A tithe to be collected.” Fear and dread, fruits sowed rapidly into the wizard’s soul. His action brought misfortune and approaching misery. “Continue.” - “Oblivion comes to harvest us.” Death awaited at the end of it. Chaos cast loose to spill and seep through rock and stone–an invader freed from its prison far beyond the material plane. After a sharp pain in your head, images storm through every thought and emotion, transporting you into a pseudo sleep–some magically induced trance–whereat every sense is muffled and replaced by dread, feeling like prey to an unknown threat. For a moment, all that could be seen were flashes of radiance; brimming though sickening light that sprung across what some would assume to be the cosmos. Then, it became clear. CRACK - Your field of view fractures like glass does when broken, disorienting you momentarily before the depiction of some cloaked figure and their golem-like scion appeared. One stood behind, delegating orders for the other to abide by; orders that led the two to their demise. An explosion detonated in consequence to their actions, unleashing into the worldly realm unmeasured mana and corruption that could not be contained. But, that was not all. Greater evils had been left behind as an unforgiving reminder of what it means to toy with the fabric of space and time; some aberrant, illogical, and above all ravenous recusant from the Void. An entity wrought of malice and infinite gluttony–a terror that was destined to consume whatever in its path. You ultimately awaken, liberated from the vision that had been planted into your mind.

Ysabeau reads through this declaration, merely and strictly fixating on the name of some familiar friend. "God be good to him."

Amendments/Additions implemented into main lore post. Thank you for your submission. Moving to correct subforum to prevent redundancy and clutter.

Amendments/Additions implemented into main lore post. Thank you for your submission. Moving to correct subforum to prevent redundancy and clutter.

Amendments/Additions implemented into main lore post. Thank you for your submission. Moving to correct subforum to prevent redundancy and clutter.

This lore has been denied. You will be sent a forum PM regarding the reasons for denial within the next 24 hours.

This lore has been denied. You will be sent a forum PM regarding the reasons for denial within the next 24 hours.

This lore has been denied. You will be sent a forum PM regarding the reasons for denial within the next 24 hours.

Amendments/Additions implemented into main lore post. Thank you for your submission. Moving to correct subforum to prevent redundancy and clutter.

Application completed. Denied. Given recent projects and eventlines, the team doesn't feel as though it would be a wise choice to admit any new lair; especially when there are only up to three members that will make use of the said. We advise that you attempt to establish this sort of roleplay through existing nations and/or settlements, as most won't particularly care about your affairs as a vassalized state. My discord is Vi#3544 for any concern that you may have.

i'm just confused as to how this would even be possible when current azdrazi lore disables the player from practicing any slotted magic, including BM. as well, after skimming through the submission, the spells are batshit op and it doesn't really seem like these ideas are congruent with the whole theme that blood magic has going on in regards of non-combative, utility and narrative-oriented rituals/abilities. in-fact, this is what i think about each proposed ability/rite: the blood fire tear - embark ritual with minimal (fluff and aesthetic) variations the gobblet of blood & fire - potentially the only narrative-oriented rite in this submission, but it's also overcomplicated regarding requirements (like 12 nephilim is a bit overkill ngl) the blood-fire forge - vehement smithing and (overpowered) ensorcell material all-in-one. seems a bit redundant and out-of-place when compared to other blood magic marriage pieces, or blood magic lore itself flame torrent - batshit op. reminds me of old lore where authors would try to make their spell very taxing or take many emotes to cast in order to strengthen the effects ethereal form - this literally makes no sense within this context arraxes' wrath - why does flame torrent take 8 emotes, but u can summon a literal dragon in 6? ngl this should be wholly scrapped blood fire arrows - quite redundant when you can just set them on with normal fire or dragonsflame

i think blood magic is fine as it is. not every lore needs to have some sort of leeway to impact combat (per the 'blood crystallization' mechanic that you've written for this submission, given that you can make weapons through it) + the amendment you're proposing is only a one-line clarification, that you could've just mentioned to the ST for fixing...

Ysabeau stumbled upon this notice. Her eyes read from start to finish; Smack! The woman's palm shot upward, and slammed against the chest. She then turned over the missive, scribbling upon it few rhythmic verbose and ultimately depositing the paper within the pocket in her gown: "Crawl, carve- the string of fate recoils, and shines. Lodge in a stitch; part of its gleam. It flows, and crawls. A pattern as thin, sweet, and small, as motes made of glistened dust. Crushed, and severed. The string dies down; forgotten behind wilted roses."

This lore has been denied. You will be sent a forum PM regarding the reasons for denial within the next 24 hours. SELF DENIED

This lore has been denied. You will be sent a forum PM regarding the reasons for denial within the next 24 hours. SELF DENIED

seeing the word chi brings me to the time where the last iteration was shelved during my irp lesson 🥺 why are seers incompatible?

getting my hopes up just to do this 🥺bye kira..

? he's not the void LOL