CharmingCavalier 1723 Share Posted November 16, 2021 THE ALMARIS BUCKETBALL ASSOCIATION GAME RESULTS Week 16 Season 1 RETURN OF THE MONKS! (THIS WEEK'S ANTHEM) Ladies and gentlemen, thanks for picking up another edition of Almaris Bucketball. I am, as always, your dutiful commentator and author Martie Lickman. This week the ABA Commissioners announced a deal with the Monk Referee Union (MRU) in which they would be provided extra padding for their official robes, fines given to players who assault referees, and very lucrative life insurance policies in exchange for being less biased and holding a strict code of zero bribing, which the ABA concluded with bribing the MRU to accept the clauses of the contract. In other news, the Western Conference continues to shock as the Krugs, Foxes, and Dragons all battle to not be eliminated from the playoffs in six weeks. With week twenty two around the corner many teams are thinking about where they will be next season and what the first ABA playoffs will be like. I'll let you know when I figure out what it will be like! Anyways, on to this week's games: (ABA OPENING POST LINKED HERE) Providence Vigilants - Kal'Darakaan Miners In a rematch from week thirteen, the Miners headed to Providence to square off against the Vigilants. These two teams, battling it out for second place in the Eastern Conference started off relatively evenly. However, Grimdal Irongut was tripped early on during an arch rush by an unnamed wig wearing spectator. The man gleefully ran off and from the point the mojo of the Miners was off. Erik Othaman, an elderly man, managed to work his way around Agnar Ireheart because Druin Hammerforge was playing out of position for the second half. This win though, while a boost to the struggling Vigilants, is not amazing news. They still stall behind the Miners in the standings and face the Flames next week. Meanwhile, the Miners get what equates to a week off as they travel to face the pitiful Freeport Pigeons. Karosgrad Crows - Du Loc Flames The Flames managed to travel up to Karosgrad this week and were not too happy when they found the return of the regular monk referees. Within the first half both Gib and Gulmon, the dark elves of the Flames, were ejected for unsportsmanlike conduct, a thing we didn't even know you could be ejected for! The ensuing argument saw Coach Mantequilla ejected and a brawl start between the Crows and the Flames right before the end of the game. Emotions got wrapped up here this week and it distracted the Flames from their goal of scoring and winning. Elysium Foxes - Haelun'or Purifiers The Foxes paid host to silver-haired Purifiers this week in what equated to one of the most average games we've seen in a while. There was little tomfoolery, a lot of shoving and tackling, and some decent scoring in the field. Head Coach Velu'Asath of the Foxes has made it clear that they are interested in playing some good, clean bucketball and not messing around with finding craft ways to win. In addition to this, the Foxes were seen again being frequented by a goblin with various glass tubes and bottles this week. Their head coach refused to comment on what he referred to as the "team's medical staff." Vortice Krakens - Fakhr Dunes Head Coach Lenora Jusima of the Krakens tried her best to get her team back on track this week but ended up faltering to the Eastern Conference leaders. Dunes' star, Hakim the Brick Wall, managed to shut down multiple attempts at arch rushes by simply clotheslining the rusher. Mehreen Al-Hattan also demonstrated amazing range this week, going up with thirty-five points from the corners. Looking forward, the Dunes are going to face down against the imposing Foxes next week in a bid to keep their lead over the Vigilants and the Miners. Meanwhile, the Krakens are gonna try to see if they can best the developing Druids. San Luciano Saints - Talus Grove Druids San Luciano celebrated a revivalist victory against the Druids in what has been coined as their turning point for the season. Istvan and, more importantly, Herakles seem to be back in fighting form and ready to score. The latter went forty from the corners and even managed three field shots as well. This puts them back into striking distance against the Crows and Berserkers. The Druids, on the other hand, did not do poorly and managed to hold a relatively close game the entire time. Head Coach Pyrin does not have to hang his head over this loss. Next week, to add to their happiness, the Saints are facing off against the homeless Rabbits in what Head Coach Joseph Brandt has described as a "training exercise." Iron Uzg Krugs - Rozania Rabbits After a riot at the Druid's last week the Krugs came into this game hyped for combat. Rushing down the homeless Rabbits was easy prey and Ulug showed off some of his fancy footwork by taking a halfling member of the Rabbits' team and dunking him with one hand, the ball going in right after. In what most people would call a slaughter, the Krugs managed to put down four members of the Rabbits and tore the limbs off of the assistant coach and water boy after the game because they 'felt like it' according to Head Coach Ar-Borok of Mog. The Krugs now have to come up against the Berserkers next week and time will only tell if their rage will carry on. Yong Ping Dragons - Varhelm Berserkers In almost a repeat of their first matchup in week nine, these two teams faced off again and the overpowering rage of Berserkermania overwhelmed more moderate players like Lanqui. Skjord Svardssen, despite being on par with Lanqui in height, managed to be dominate in the arch and even in the field, scoring over twenty-five points. Next week, the Berserkers have to face the Krugs though so we know their aggression will come out, and probably some people's blood too. As for the Dragons they are heading off to face the Bucks and seek a victory to stave off the Foxes and Krugs who wish to take away their playoff position in the West. Elvenesse Bucks - Freeport Pigeons High Prince Evar'tir Oranor has clearly made a difference with the Bucks, though this game was against the Pigeons who are notably one of the worst teams in the ABA nowadays. This game saw the High Prince tidily wrap up thirty-three points in the field and four from the arch. Pigeon star Mister Caw was devastated during this game when he saw his friend, Mister Beaker, run over by an advancing Buck player. Another loss for bucketball and the Pigeons this year. Anyways, next week the Bucks are heading off to face the Dragons and the Pigeons are clash against the Miners. Both teams are not favored to win their next matches so we wish them the best of luck. STANDINGS The Western Conference Pos. Team Points Played Won Lost "+-" 1 Varhelm Beserkers 24 16 12 4 140 2 Karosgrad Crows 24 16 12 4 110 3 San Luciano Saints 22 16 11 5 83 4 Yong Ping Dragons 18 16 9 7 2 5 Elysium Foxes 16 16 8 8 36 6 Iron Uzg Krugs 16 16 8 8 25 7 Elvenesse Bucks 10 16 5 11 -43 8 Vortice Krakens 2 16 1 15 -264 The Eastern Conference Pos. Team Points Played Won Lost "+-" 1 Fakhr Dunes 22 16 11 5 140 2 Kal'Darakaan Miners 20 16 10 6 74 3 Providence Vigilants 20 16 10 6 32 4 Du Loc Flames 18 16 9 7 39 5 Haelun'or Purifiers 12 16 6 10 -33 6 Rozania Rabbits 12 16 6 10 -131 7 Talus Grove Druids 10 16 5 11 -90 8 Freeport Pigeons 10 16 5 11 -120 AMATEUR DIVISION RESULTS AND STANDINGS Honeyhill Hedgehogs - Valwyck Bears 86 - 88 Fennic Blizzards - Halcourt Eagles 82 - 65 The Amateur Division Pos. Team Points Played Won Lost "+-" 1 Honeyhill Hedgehogs 30 16 15 1 109 2 Valwyck Bears 18 16 9 7 35 3 Fennic Blizzards 14 16 7 8 61 4 Halcourt Eagles 2 16 1 15 -211 Do you want to add your name to the roster of your favorite team? Are you interested in bucketball and want to learn more? Join our discord and supply us with your player's names so we can include you in our posts! https://discord.gg/UbdSZNrTFT 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reckless Banzai Screamer 11594 Share Posted November 16, 2021 "LET ME AT DEM, LET ME AT DEM," screeches Father Paco de Mantequilla as he'd be forcefully escorted away from the court. The Religious Man was an Angry Man. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
NotEvilAtAll 9945 Share Posted November 16, 2021 "Rigged" comments local Honeyhill elder Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Xergarok 297 Share Posted November 16, 2021 "Okeh," the now hot-headed dwarf huffed as he was tripped. "Toime tah c'ange our tactec! May dah Brat'mordakin bless our games!" he roared to his team. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drew2_dude 2130 Share Posted November 16, 2021 Spoiler After a rough start to the season, the Valwyck Bears had finally seemed to turn a corner, picking up some key wins. After beating the taking down the undefeated leaders of the Amateur league, the Honeyhill Hedgehogs, Coach Andrik J. Baruch was asked his opinions on the game, the season, and what this win meant to them. "Well, it only makes since that the best team in the league is the one to take down the Honeyhill Cheaters, who have blatantly bent the rules to edge out wins against us the whole first half of the season. This Bears team has found its rhythm, we told you to trust the process, and we've delivered. We're the best there is, the best there ever was, and the best there ever will be. I wake up in the mornin' and piss excellence. Nobody can hang with our stuff, and I'll tell you what I told the team, if we ain't first, we're last, and we're comin' in hot to take that first place from those decieving wee runts who think they can keep us down." 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
flexMate 328 Share Posted November 16, 2021 "KOBI" The giant orc roared as he holds the halfling in one hand and jumps. A psycotic smile formed on the Wargoth's face as he jumps and puts the halfling inside the hoop "KOBIIIIIIIIIIII" Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnimeWolf0080 1493 Share Posted November 17, 2021 Kin thanked the berserkers for the game, once more going to train less he be beaten with the discipline rode by their new coach Wenping (@Rapture) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PeachLova 324 Share Posted November 17, 2021 6 hours ago, El Padrecito said: "LET ME AT DEM, LET ME AT DEM," screeches Father Paco de Mantequilla as he'd be forcefully escorted away from the court. The Religious Man was an Angry Man. Spoiler Father Paco of Butter? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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