ALL MY OPPOSITION LAY DEAD

[fluffycop 276]

Spoiler

 

 

13th of Anbella’s Seed, SA 138

BY DECREE OF

THE FROSTBEARD CLAN

ᚴᚼᚱᚢᛘ ᚴᛅᛋᚾᚬᚴᛘᛅᚱ ᚴᛅᚢᛁᚱ

ALL MY OPPOSITION LAY DEAD

 -= KHRUM KAZNOKMAR KAVIR =-

ᚴᚼᚱᚢᛘ ᚴᛅᛋᚾᚬᚴᛘᛅᚱ ᚴᛅᚢᛁᚱ

 

Spoiler

 

 

Our resident illustrator has compiled a “motion picture”. Please flip the pages in rapid succession to view the battle in lifelike detail! 

 

To the ever-damned craven of Norland,

 

No longer do I write to you as an equal, for I have brought your cowardly kingdom to its knees. Had you not considered the grave insults you gave unto us? Surely you were mistaken to approach as if we were the idle crowds in your city. You cowardly cabal that hides in the Norlandic keep, we have shown you thrice our might, and thrice you have fallen. Before you was all the strength of Adria, your steel glittering in the sun, and yet you have fallen time and time again, You cowardly craven, come hither and fight, thrice have I slain your rallies and thrice have I not seen Hilda the heathen nor Balon the coward.

 

Let us recall the events of today when the clarion call was heard in Urguan when the beardlings swarms rallied forth. I must surely be mistaken, but I recall a sighting of a dwarf resembling the Norlandic King, not only a coward but a midget as well? I will make sure this dwarf is to be slain on sight, as shortly upon his sighting did coincidentally you cravens prepare to hide. We of the dwarves hold our heads high, and indeed does the Frostbeard Clan not allow slights against our honor and pride. You craven inbreds, did you think we would give you an olive branch and allow your response of indifference? We have met and spoken with the true and proper king of your lands, Vangel, and he has shown us a clear map of your bloodline and family tree. Tell us Balon, why so do you marry your sister? You accursed varlet, come out from your little bunker and see the pitiful lament of your sister-queen!

 

Rotten knave, no longer is the opportunity for diplomacy available to you mongrels. We were most surely mistaken in committing diplomacy with those who engage in inbreeding, a “veritable word-salad” as one had said, most clearly a sign of illiteracy and ignorance in reply to our warning to you worthless serfs. As well in return for the Dwarven spy relaying news of our rally to you wretched curs, I will have my own operatives do the same. As we speak, I have unleashed a squad of ten musin led by John “The Savant” to lurk through your sewers and destroy all your redstone linings, mechanical traps, and tear holes in your walls. It is well known those of incestuous lineage are not competent in means of architecture, I wish you good luck in fixing this. And in one final jest, Loathsome rogue, do I give you a final opportunity to come speak with me at my mansion. Do not take this lightly, you pitiful wretch, bring whatever means of worth you have left and I might just spare you.

Edited July 22, 2023 by fluffycop

[_Grey_W0lf_ 625]

Ursus Grandaxe approves of the message given by his Honoury Clan

[Jogdish_Argamesh 99]

sigmus would begin rambling with battered teeth and gums after having to chew through the steel gates that use to enclose norlands sewer system "Teh fauk ded deh go? wehs jost gettin started laddehs! Weh well nawt stawp untel norland hes ben reduced teh mere ashes!"

[1784 185]

Gardalf Frostbeard smiles at this missive

[countingcaskets 4]

Vulcanus couldn't contain his hearty laughter as he read through the decree, each word a poignant blow against the disgraced kingdom of Norland. His fingers traced the harsh lines of the message, a gleam of merriment and triumph dancing in his eyes. "Served them right, the cowardly lot," he muttered to himself. 

[indiana105 2297]

Ser Arthur Gant narrowed his eyes as he read the missive. He moved a candle close to the parchment and ran his finger under the word... "Inbred," he muttered to himself. "Well, tha' explains it. Legs're too twisted to leave their city."
 

[Borin 5290]

[racist] Brother Odo visits a local church to pray for peace "May the innocents be spared from the various hordes that rove the countryside"
 

Spoiler

 

 

[Freischarler 364]

Pertinax over hears chatter in a nordlandic tavern "the opposition has been victorious."

[Asutto 2020]

3 hours ago, fluffycop said:

Tell us Balon, why so do you marry your sister? You accursed varlet, come out from your little bunker and see the pitiful lament of your sister-queen!

Somewhere Erik Erikson, the Ex-Northlandgrad Delivery Boy reads over the missive and slaps his belly. "Heh. Don't worry. It be quick."

[HouseOfYork 371]

"Oi'd call dat ah total Frostbeard victoreh" Vithor Frostbeard slapped his belleh

[__Clocky 762]

"All m' opps wiped, call me Mr'Clean." Elsiimah'Ceru made finger-bows and aimed at a target with a 'woosh' sound effect.

[AnonymousAlexa 3877]

"I HAVE ANOTHER BROTHER!?" Hilda gasps, shocked by this revalation. 

[Mark2282 305]

Borin wipes the sweat off his forehead, a grim smile forming on his face as he recounts the daring raid to his fellow Frostbeard brothers back at the tavern. "Aye, it was a battle to remember, lads! We charged in like a storm, shield and axe in hand, and showed 'em the might of the Frostbeard clan. The Norlanders couldn't stand a chance against our ferocity and skill. Let this be a lesson to any who dare cross us, for the strength of the Dwarves knows no bounds!" He raises his tankard high, the sound of cheers filling the tavern, celebrating their victorious raid.

[Turbo_Dog 1528]

11 hours ago, fluffycop said:

I have unleashed a squad of ten musin

A musin repeatedly looked over this line of the missive “Where was my invite?” he questioned with a hum