DNN #17, This one is extra spicy

[gandalfo 1452]

 

BREAKING NEWS!!!!

Edition #17

 

Goldhand Clan are Murderers!?!

 

One stone day ago, Morag Goldhand was taken by the Goldhand Clan and ruthlessly murdered. The leader of this murderous bunch of dwedmar, Ivar Goldhand, masterminded the plot to take down a fellow dwarf. Morag Goldhand had gone to inform his Clan Father, Ivar Goldhand, about the return of his cousin, Barundin Goldhand. Ivar, along with the Goldhand Clan lured Morag outside of the capital with intentions to murder Morag. Morag informed the classified key witness that should he not return, it should be assumed that Ivar had done the worst to him. The classified key witness watched several members of the Goldhand Clan surround Morag’s corpse; Morag Goldhand had been murdered.

 

THEREFORE:

 

Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder, & Irongrinder and Sons Law Firms, in the name of the murdered Morag Goldhand, hereby moves forward to prosecute Ivar Goldhand and the Goldhand Clan with:

 

Conspiracy to commit Murder - Second Degree

Conspiracy to commit Kidnapping - Third Degree

Conspiracy to commit Heathenism - Fourth Degree

Conspiracy to commit Vigilantism - Fourth Degree

Conspiracy to commit Assault - Third Degree

 

Murder - First Degree

Kidnapping - Second Degree

Heathenism - Third Degree

Vigilantism - Third Degree

Assault - Second Degree

 

[sneakybandit 1650]

Darek spits out his Dr.Beard tm as he reads the news 

“holy **** that’s spicy”

[McDaedra 261]

Mafraedon would gasp loudly!

[Cpt_Noobman 1954]

“M-Morag?” asks Barundin with a look of shock and despair

[Josh3738 3137]

Bhudand jumps up, spitting out his morning bourbon in shock and surprise. ”Tha’ bastard! Ah knew ‘e ‘ad sometin wrong wit’ ‘im!”

[SoulReapingWolf 2281]

An anonymous dwarf would send a note to the Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder, Irongrinder and sons that would read the following.

 

"I have not seen the National Treasure Charles The Bald in a while. He's also missed his flower picking appointments the last couple o' days. Perhaps this Ivar guy dissapeared 'im as well"

 

[Hiebe 2493]

Couldnt we just call these fake goldhands what they really are? Bunch if nasty Anvilaxes...

 

Dwain the smith states

[nevy40 405]

 

Ser Loras Lorraine the Last True Knight of Lorraine, happens upon one of the DNN newspapers. He grabs the leaflet, gingerly flipping through the pages and reading its contents carefully. Suddenly he bursts out into laughter reading the ‘Breaking News’.

 

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“Quite the imagination those Dwarves have. By God – What a sensationalist piece of gibberish. The daft pint-sized Dwed must have been drunk on ale and high on some herb when conjuring up this fantastical ‘Breaking News’ story. I know the Goldhands, quite well actually. I’ve dealt with many of them back in the day of Lorraine’s Great Resurgence. They’re a greedy bunch of hook nosed, palm rubbing gold lovers. That much is true. Murders? Doubt it. 

 

Though, let us entertain this sensationalist rubbish for but a moment. What reason would the Goldhands have to kill one of their kin? Surely you could enlighten us as to their motive without compromising this alleged “key witness.” On top of this, the Irongrinders are notorious throughout all of Arcas for taking individuals to court and exploiting the common layman’s lack of knowledge for their own monetary gain. Seems like they’ve targeted the wealthy Goldhand with this propaganda piece in an attempt to steal some their wealth through the courts....

 

Rather disappointed in DNN. Usually it is the Goldhands who try to subvert nations, yet in this instance it seems the tables have turned.”

 

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