Crevel 7561 Share Posted April 30, 2020 The Valiant Haensemen Issued Snow’s Maiden 1766 To the Haensers It is with great honour that I commend the valiant party of Haensemen that travelled to Norland on their sluggish steeds. Their shields proudly display the colours of their steadfast loyalty to the strawman ‘Highlanders’ of Haense. They had finally arrived to the Kingdom of Norland with crossbows in hand with their bandit-face equipped. The Norlanders had witnessed the honourable attempts to jump 2.5 metres with their steeds to find a path into the city, only to be met with a closed gate. The valiant Haensemen had returned to the main gate, eyeing off the unarmed civilians that posed a serious threat to the armoured soldiers in the Heartlands. The party unleashed a volley of inaccurate bolts in the name of the Crossed God that was met with the full force of a Norlandic gate. Blast! The pesky Norlanders and their gates, stronger than those of Haense. Alas, the valiant trio had not anticipated the Norlanders to secure their gate following recent Imperial aggressions. No! For it is not the fault of the trusty Haensemen, it was the Norlanders’ for closing the gate! The Haensemen trio are never at fault. The Norlanders pointed and laughed at the now crying Haensemen. To save their dignity from the mean Norlanders, the valiant Haensemen retreated back to the safe confines of their homes in New Reza. Once again, another victory for the Kingdom of Haense against the Kingdom of Norland! May this humble trio be granted treasures one could only grasp in their imagination. Penned by Mister Muffins, Chamberlain of the Kingdom of Norland, Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evonpire 2014 Share Posted April 30, 2020 “Oh. this again” Says a tired Aleksandr II, remembering the last time the Haensemen did this. Spoiler Spoiler ((Don’t forget, using horses to jump over city walls is against LOTC rules! I am aware it was not the case this time around, but still just a reminder)) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
FlemishSupremacy 6115 Share Posted April 30, 2020 Flemius is disappointed, but not surprised. "W-We come as crows..." He'd state in a mocking tone upon hearing the news. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeatonUnbeaten 1103 Share Posted April 30, 2020 Keaton Errmark I finds endless hilarity in the Imperial failure. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
argonian 14254 Share Posted April 30, 2020 Conrad stares bemused at the document. “That’s a lot of words for ‘we hid behind our gates scared shitless of three men’.” Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
seannie 7443 Share Posted April 30, 2020 "They hid behind walls, outnumbering their enemies, and claim some sort of glorious victory, when they couldn't get inside? Pardon me? This is quite a stretch - I think I might release a missive on the color of my excrement in return to this." Sigismund questioned bemused. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
garentoft 9265 Share Posted April 30, 2020 30 minutes ago, seannie said: "They hid behind walls, outnumbering their enemies, and claim some sort of glorious victory, when they couldn't get inside? Pardon me? This is quite a stretch - I think I might release a missive on the color of my excrement in return to this." Sigismund questioned bemused. The Royal Physician advises the King not to do so, as the colour of his excrement may be cause for questions about this health, noting that green excrement, much like a genuine Norlandic victory, is something unknown to man. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukio 8924 Share Posted April 30, 2020 3 hours ago, seannie said: "They hid behind walls, outnumbering their enemies, and claim some sort of glorious victory, when they couldn't get inside? Pardon me? This is quite a stretch - I think I might release a missive on the color of my excrement in return to this." Sigismund questioned bemused. Ratcliffe looks around at all of the women and children inside of the walls and writes down a letter to his superior officer, asking what kind of man this young boy will be if he demands a peaceful nation risk the lives of unarmed civilians just so his men can beat someone up, since they seem too scared to keep yelping in Oren at how unfairly Haense is treated yet do nothing about it. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
shortchangehero 4217 Share Posted April 30, 2020 12th of snows maiden 1766, hours before the battle between Nordling and imperial forces. Frederick looked over at Reynault saying, “are you sure this’ll work? The Nordlings claim they’re not allies with the Ashen, that they’re enemies too.” Reynault watched his three best men ride off on horseback towards Morsgrad’s gates. “They’ll come, trust me,” Reynault stated, a smile on his face. - The Nordling reinforcements arrived and were defeated by the imperials. - Reynault handed two identical letters to the young courier boy, “report this back to the King of Haense and Emperor of Oren. We’ve proven the Ashen are indeed affiliated with and allies of the Nordlings. This should be enough for war.” Reynault handed the boy a pouch of minas. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
monkeypoacher 8055 Share Posted April 30, 2020 “in a war between haensemen and nordlings, humanity wins” says joey jr. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukio 8924 Share Posted April 30, 2020 22 minutes ago, Ggt said: 12th of snows maiden 1766, hours before the battle between Nordling and imperial forces. Frederick looked over at Reynault saying, “are you sure this’ll work? The Nordlings claim they’re not allies with the Ashen, that they’re enemies too.” Reynault watched his three best men ride off on horseback towards Morsgrad’s gates. “They’ll come, trust me,” Reynault stated, a smile on his face. - The Nordling reinforcements arrived and were defeated by the imperials. - Reynault handed two identical letters to the young courier boy, “report this back to the King of Haense and Emperor of Oren. We’ve proven the Ashen are indeed affiliated with and allies of the Nordlings. This should be enough for war.” Reynault handed the boy a pouch of minas. Ratcliffe looks around, confused as none of those men that Reynault cites are of Morsgrad descent or connection, but rather have also been a hassle for his fellow guards. He shrugs, knowing the Marnan brainrot is still strong in the Crownlands. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_pr0fit 3084 Share Posted April 30, 2020 45 minutes ago, Ggt said: 12th of snows maiden 1766, hours before the battle between Nordling and imperial forces. Frederick looked over at Reynault saying, “are you sure this’ll work? The Nordlings claim they’re not allies with the Ashen, that they’re enemies too.” Reynault watched his three best men ride off on horseback towards Morsgrad’s gates. “They’ll come, trust me,” Reynault stated, a smile on his face. - The Nordling reinforcements arrived and were defeated by the imperials. - Reynault handed two identical letters to the young courier boy, “report this back to the King of Haense and Emperor of Oren. We’ve proven the Ashen are indeed affiliated with and allies of the Nordlings. This should be enough for war.” Reynault handed the boy a pouch of minas. “Yes the old Lets raid Morsgrad days after we fight some bandits, that’ll prove that they are allies of Nottingham! Brilliant!” Olaf says shaking his head. ”You can’t make this stuff up.” Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crevel 7561 Author Share Posted April 30, 2020 1 hour ago, Ggt said: (( Re-using the screenshot you got from when you camped Morsgrad I see )) Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Inferno_Ougi 1454 Share Posted April 30, 2020 A good old Nottinglad really wants to get involved. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bisscy 64 Share Posted May 1, 2020 *A battered old man shakes his head laughing, “If they had norlandic boats them boys could phase through the gates and not have an issue.” Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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