REEL IT IN

[Mickaelhz 3832]

REEL IT IN

The great upset of 156 S.A.

Spoiler

 

It was a calm, peaceful morning on the Ferryman getaway island, many infamous faces huddled around a bonfire and discussed how they’ve been enjoying their vacation. The usual topics came up; grilling sausages, painting propaganda, fishing. when suddenly a figure only known as “The Skipper” yelled something from his hammock.

 

“So that’s it? The great Ferrymen were reduced to lazy fishermen! Look at us!” 

 

The rest of the island fishermen didn’t know what to respond at first. Skipper was right, the greatest battle they had recently fought was when one of their fishing lines got caught on a rock . It made no sense, until an old, greying man spoke up.

 

“The fishing is practice, I’ll show you how this all applies to the real world.” 

 

What followed was an elaborate lesson on how the greatest band of warriors outmatches any military by simply practicing the art of fishing.

 

STEP 1 : Choose your bait

Everyone should know that with nothing but a rod and a hook, it’s difficult to catch larger fish. You need something to lure the big beauties into a position where they are even able to be caught. A common technique is using live bait; using a smaller fish to fish for larger fish. In this case the smaller fish was the Crown Princess of Balian.

 

5 Horsemen rode into the overgrown land of the south, equipped with blindfolds, rope and simple weaponry. They were headed for the capital of the Kingdom of Balian, a nest filled with little vermin that would make some fine live bait.

As they rode in, they instantly spotted someone wearing a tiara decorated with fine emeralds, an eye-catcher for sure! The Ferrymen surrounded her and 5 other citizens and brought her to a fortress they had recently occupied. Here the visitors were informed about the reasoning behind their capture, the violations of the A.D.D.F.A. At first the captives didn’t know what this law was, but it was swiftly explained to them.

 

 

The Crown Princess of Balian was confused as to why their kingdom  

made such a big deal out of intentionally breaking this act if they knew it would result in violence, so she asked for a calm conversation with the leader of the Ferrymen. She was brought to a cozy tavern room and was handed our finest chair. She was given a drink and enough cake to last her a lifetime. In this tavern room she agreed to follow the A.D.D.F.A., since she wanted Balian to sprout beyond just a shadow of a failed Empire. A peaceful resolution.

 

Spoiler

 

 

STEP 2 : Cast your rod

Now it was time to raise the stakes and really make their strategy shine. Using live fish has been a technique in circulation since the early days of The Ferrymen, it has been applied time and time again and it has never let them down.

 

They had acquired a fine live bait, the next regent of Balian. The Ferrymen knew this would surely attract some VERY large fish.

First, the fishermen released all hostages except for the Crown Princess, this would allow for the larger fish to take note of the fact that there was food in the area. The larger fish would start scurrying around the area where the hostages were released and they would gladly start eating away. Little did the Ferrymen know that the hostages would attract not just any fish, but the largest fish, the fabled Helpless Haenser. This fish specifically is extremely hard to find because they only hide in massive fortified rock formations and only comes out during mating season.

 

As the Helpless Haenser made an appearance, the Ferrymen instantly showed their hand; the Crown Princess of Balian herself. This would ensure that the Haenser stuck around for a short while, buying the Ferrymen time to make further plans.

 

As the Ferrymen gently swayed around the bait, they noticed something awful. The Haenser was infested with Church Mites, making it way more difficult to attack since every time you tried reeling in the fish, the Church Mites would start shrieking, making you lose control over the line.

 

So the Ferrymen took a clear stance, they tried reasoning with the Church Mites, explaining to them that their canonist Princess is safe and sound and that The Ferrymen simply care for the Helpless Haenser. They even offered to hand the Crown Princess to the Church Mites if they could stop latching onto the Helpless Haenser so it may be caught.

The Pontiff refused to take the deal, leaving the wellbeing of the Crown Princess of Balian in the hands of The Ferrymen, essentially abandoning her. He also sheepishly demanded that the Crown Princess be kindly delivered to the gates of Haense. 

 

STEP 3 : Catch the fish

This abandonment of the Crown Princess made it very difficult for the Ferrymen to catch the Helpless Haenser, but they wouldn’t yield. A fish this rare is too valuable to give up on, so as the  Church-Mite infested Helpless-Haenser departed from the bait, it was trailed by our merry band to its fortified nest.

 

Upon reaching the capital of the Kingdom of Haense, they were met with closed gates. As usual, the Helpless Haenser had locked themselves in once more. Luckily it had not retreated into its dark hole entirely, instead it was guarding the gated entrance. Along with the Church Mites, the hole was also infested with Bald Balianites. A considerably smaller fish without teeth.

Anyone who’s read the Ferrymen encyclopedia for exquisite fish knows that the Helpless Haenser is a prideful animal, especially when in the company of smaller fish. So to lure the creature away from the entrance of its hole, the Ferrymen mocked them until the Helpless Haenser’s blood started to boil. It start to twitch and shake until it finally made an attack on the Ferrymen. It departed from the entrance and charged at the brave fishermen, who swiftly put down the craven beast. 410 Haensemen were found dead that day. 

After the hole was breached, a few Ferrymen took it upon themselves to explore the hold, finding many riches.

 

STEP 4 : Cook the prize

Great celebrations found the Ferrymen island that day, they had reeled in enough fish to make for a fine feast. Banjo music echoed on the waves, dancing caused clouds of beach sand. It had been a great day. The only thing that was left to do is to filet the fish and get to eating.

 

There is one thing important to remember when feasting on the Helpless Haenser, it is very difficult to remove every single bone. You need to watch out when eating or you might choke to death!

This fish, even after it has been bested, will make fickle attempts to either claim victory or discredit events. So to remove every bone and doubt, let us summarize:

 

Dear Pontiff, you abandoned the good canonist Crown Princess of Balian and left her in the hands of a violent organization. You left her to die a horrible death. After the Ferrymen razed the city of Haense, she was safely let free. She was well fed and wasn’t harmed. This was not because of your baseless demands, this was because our organization has more honor than any now-dead Haenser that abandoned her on that day. You have no sway over us. We have never been, nor will we ever be a canonist organization. You may excommunicate us, but this will not change the fact that yesterday your prayers weren’t answered by your god, but by us.

You chose to expose yourself to this situation, we made it clear we cared not for church matters and only for the Helpless Haenser.

410 Haensers lay dead in their city today. This fact was not changed by your prayers, it was not changed by your appearance in front of the keep, it was not changed by your demands. 

This is not a matter of church, never blame a man from putting fish on the table for his starving family.

 

Signed,

Your ferry friend

[Orlanth 3539]

Vyllaenen returned home with a plentiful amount of equipment from the battlefield. He set to work repurposing the Haensemen's loot into fishhooks. 

[Milenkhov 4522]

Húrin offers a fist bump to Vyllaenen after not only surviving but running through the entirety of the enemy's rally. He finds this to be an agreeable and suitable anticipation of a birthday gift for his mentor and llir.

"We are so back."

[Drew2_dude 2130]

“Do ye Remember a time when the fairy boys were relevant? Cause I don’t.” Father Malcolm would call out to his Acolyte.

 

”Must’ve been when they didn’t hide behind their walls from a fight.” The Acolyte would respond.

 

”Oh, so never then.” The priest would chuckle as he continued to transcribe copies of the Holy Scrolls.

Edited November 22, 2023 by Drew2_dude

[budaq 472]

6 minutes ago, Drew2_dude said:

“Do ye Remember a time when the fairy boys were relevant? Cause I don’t.” Father Malcolm would call out to his Acolyte.

 

”Must’ve been when they didn’t hide behind their walls from a fight.” The Acolyte would respond.

 

”Oh, so never then.” The priest would chuckle as he continued to transcribe copies of the Holy Scrolls.

"Home advantage wasn't enough, boys, we should've made twenteh versus fourteh happen once again" Istvan the Ferryman motioned to Vyllaenen, laughing and chuckling.
@Orlanth

[Pancho 2527]

"Little do they know, Maethor Sythaerin is the greatest fisherman of them all. His bait hooks the skygods readily." A 'thill from a far away land commented!

[Rigorous 1548]

2 hours ago, Drew2_dude said:

“Do ye Remember a time when the fairy boys were relevant? Cause I don’t.” Father Malcolm would call out to his Acolyte.

 

”Must’ve been when they didn’t hide behind their walls from a fight.” The Acolyte would respond.

 

”Oh, so never then.” The priest would chuckle as he continued to transcribe copies of the Holy Scrolls.

 

Ferryman Silas, pious as ever, spoke thusly. "May our enemies face a profound Kiss of God, as we guide them back into the bosom of the Creator and His magnificence. All Mighty, God, may this test of faith you have granted me be met with the mettle of my steel, and the steel of my brothers. Amen."

 

He then prepared to depart from the keep to wreak devastation upon the lands of the colonizers, his teal bandana wrapped around his face and his Thanhic blade gleaming cold as snow. Before these coming years were up, Silas was sure that many men would be buried, but that mattered little to him for his own cause was just. I pity the fool who thinks that The Ferryman has not considered their transgressions upon their fellow man. All the same, may each man who dies be commended the highest accolades in the Seven Skies, for there is no greater deed than dying in the defense of your homeland, even if your leadership is not quite so humble.

[ReveredOwl 5330]

"Tis a shame he neglects to mention the Stassion and Veletz soldiers which bolstered their numbers and the fact they the Ferrymen themselves proclaimed that: should the soldiers of Haense leave, they would then release the Princess unharmed." remarked Ser Andrik.

Edited November 22, 2023 by ReveredOwl

[TeawithFrisket 2634]

"Yikes" Said the Royarch Shaman Ember. She looked on the missive with a smirk of entertainment, and also massive dissapointment towards their allies. Then again, Canonist were never good in demands. She traversed the mountain range of Balian, studying the sky and clouds after she visited the sovereignty of Balian, enjoying the sight of the fort.