Werew0lf

After a number-guessing game, Merlin Altwegg is released unharmed.

"I don't give no fucks about no damn crusade," Baron Cassius spoke out towards his brother, Lionel Tiber, as they discussed the affairs of the world. What a coincidence, it seems Ser Aviel was talking about the same thing.

BARONY OF HARTWELL We have captured one of your own – a singular Merlin Altwegg is currently being held in Castle Clapton. If you wish to see him freed, come face us in battle. However, should you not arrive, we shall return his head to you. We shall offer you no other bounty of peace.

Y THE GRACE OF GOD, and by the authority invested in Our person by His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor of Azuras and of all Mankind, We do set forth this edict: We shall find you, Avistrans. There will be no hole to hide in, no quarter to spare, no blade to raise. We shall hunt you down mercilessly for the crimes of your people. You were slow, cruel, and now, you shall suffer back tenfold for the crimes you have committed upon those of our friends within Valmont. We shall come for you! Signed by hand of, For too long have the Avistrians existed in the same world as us – their crime? To be alive, breathing the same fresh air that was gifted to us by the Lord GOD! Furthermore, they were being extremely rude to our allies and brothers of Valmont; for this very reason, we are going to kill everyone in your fortress. I | CONCESSION. If you do not wish to die, you will drop all titles and surrender yourself to the Barony of Hartwell posthaste! II | PAYMENT. You will provide us with a sum of thirty thousand mina in order to accommodate the emotional trauma suffered by those of both the Barony of Hartwell and the Temple of Aurawatch. III | WAR. We are going to imminently raid your fortress until said concessions are made. IV | PEAGLE SANCTUARY. Because of the location of the first Avistrian March, many of the native birds which once flew in abundance within the area have been driven to near extinction- the primary and most attacked by this disgusting housing of cravens is that of the mighty PEAGLE. The PEAGLE, which is a symbol of many Imperial households, has had its nests completely and utterly ravished by Avistria. For this we require a section of land which might be allocated for the PROTECTION of PEAGLES. You will suffer for the crimes of your people. As our good friend, Lord Thrax, has spoken to us: “Avistria is a state that exists without the consent of those who lived upon the land which was gifted to them for unknown reasons. They are a people of weakness, a crippled species that consistently worms itself into the greater apparatus in order to obtain a page in the HISTORY BOOKS; their kind is that of a cowardly worm- it is for this reason we declare a state of WAR. This is quite the empowering speech, and now, we shall fight until one person is not breathing (death). Apologies, my Emperor, for I could not request your permission due to the imminent nature of this soon-to-be massacre. As I write this parchment, my brother is lying on the ground, frothing from the mouth. I am actively resuscitating him by doing chest compressions; this is war. We will kill them all!

fk u

Rakesh of Aesterwald swoons.

what funtzu said

@Islamadondidnt know u were consulting for slop nowadays

these r like the shitty version of wights buff them breh why did u guys write wraiths as weak chuds isn’t this an end game CA just cuz LT like to nerf stuff doesn’t mean u gotta write them like cucks from the beginning

Ok.

I like playing my characters at 1 years old, suckling on his thumb whilst crying as he’s rocked in his cradle. My 1 year old baby is also a mystic. He can dodge swords. This prevents me from doing baby-rp. Going to have to say no.

Y THE GRACE OF GOD, and by the authority invested in Our person by His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor of Azuras and of all Mankind, We do set forth this edict: Our house values the men and women who serve, especially those who prize themselves as gunners of the Hartwell stock. Know that any harm put before our comrades is seen as a direct affront to the grace and kindness afforded by those of House Tiber. So, let us engage in conversation, and settle this dispute. Signed by hand of, Upon landing on this continent, my stock has been – for the most part – kind and servitorial men and women, offering our aptitude in artillery weapons, including those of our cigar brand. However, this hospitality has not been returned. On a standard day, my soldier, Hubert, found himself in the vacant tavern of Alba, and engaged in a night of celebration for our recent success in contracts. To my surprise, a man adorned in plates of gray and green insulted his honour and insulted our Barony. Further to this, he then followed my Hartwell Gunner out of the tavern, exiting the city within Alba, and then, attacked him on the road near Summerhold, cutting off two fingers. This armour was, upon the recounting of my gunner, identified to be from the Principality of Reinmar–we are unsure what motivates those of the Princedom to attack our small barony–perhaps, it is due to our ballistas facing your allotted land, or simply because we are cooler than you. For this, we ask: I | CONCESSION. We ask for a delegate of the Principality of Reinmar to meet us at our Castle Clapton to understand and mediate this conflict. II | PAYMENT. If a concession or engagement does not need to be made, we ask for a sum of two-thousand mina to be directed to our bank, to pay for the surgery of poor Hubert who has lost his finger. III | MEETING. If mediation does not work, we ask our glorious Emperor to aid in finding a reasonable outcome for this slight. We grace ourselves in the trust of our men, and poor Hubert, he is known for his loyalty – we have raised him to a man that, once of a poor shelter, is now free of those stresses. Heed this call.

oh, so unwillingly is a little bit of a formatting placeholderer

I love this!!!!!!!! <3 mreow mreow mreow

I love you turbo!!!

iwl whilst reading this comment i farted like crazy n blew it out towards the screen, so now ur comment has fart on it

Y THE GRACE OF GOD, and by the authority invested in Our person by His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor of Azuras and of all Mankind, We do set forth this edict: Let this contract stand as testimony to the great friendship and bond between those of the House Tiber and those of the House Helane. Know that our friendship is bought, and although it is not cheap, our services and loyalty are as deep as the ore-depots, and as hard as the iron cast upon our siege weapons. Let this contract stand until the end of my life. Signed by hand of, With this letter, the following agreement has been made between those of the Duchy of Valmont and that of the Barony of Hartwell, signed and sealed on 10th of Harren’s Folly in the year 2025 under the grace and virtue of our most Holy Imperium. I | ON WAR. The Barony of Hartwell shall assist in: the preparation, production, and construction of gunners, defined as siege artillery, in any future conflict to arise. With this agreement also comes the noticeable risk of being outpaid. The cost of this arrangement shall be kept private as per the agreement from both parties. Any future and additional costs in relation to wars shall be discussed between both parties before any further planning is made. II | ON FRIENDSHIP. The Duchy of Valmont and the Barony of Hartwell shall agree to never raise arms against each other in any future inter-vassal conflict, but this provides no obligation for either side to aid or assist in any wars outside of the above agreement; this is only if any war shall arise in the future amongst fellow imperial vassals with the permit and approval of our most glorious Imperial Majesty, Marcus I, the Emperor of Azuras. III | ON RENEWAL. The Duchy of Valmont and the Barony of Hartwell shall agree to meet at the end of every ten imperial years at the Castle Clapton in order to share a cigar, drink alcohol, and eventually, to renew this contract. Let it be known that any breach of this contract shall leave either side vulnerable and open to future conflict, but that it is hopeful, through guidance and through friendship, that this contract shall exist until the end of times, living within the peace and grace of our Emperor and our Empire. The House of Tiber and the House of Helane, both of the same dragonsblood, shall reforge their bonds in fire.

Y THE GRACE OF GOD, and by the authority invested in Our person by His Imperial Majesty, the Emperor of Azuras and of all Mankind, We do set forth this edict: With the promulgation of our noble pedigree, we do, those scions of the House Tiber, introduce ourselves to the realms of the Empire of Man. With this, the Barony of Hartwell shall outline their coronet of land, their services, and invite those of the lordships of the Imperium to engage in friendly conversation for any fiscal matters, or those related to our mastery in the siege-arts. Signed by hand of, Since our landing upon this continent, we have been interred to a vast plethora of men and women, their invariable services, but their lack of shrewdness on the matter of artillery, which – in a continent bred of war – one could consider to be of great importance. Through this, those of the Barony and our stock of House Tiber seek to establish: business, trade, and friendships with those amongst the continent, including those of this great Imperium. Let it be so: I | ON TERRITORY & BOUNDARIES. The Barony of Hartwell shall encompass the previously held tract on the western hill (Mount Beleg) outside the imperial capital, with the constructed fief to be known as the Castle Clapton (named after our ancestral seat), which shall be used for the purposes of our siege workshop and cigar factory. II | ON SIEGE WEAPONRY. The Barony of Hartwell shall become, with the guidance of His Imperial Majesty, Marcus I, the focal manufacturer for siege-weaponry in order to aid in any external conquests, wars and conflict, or in defence of the Crown. Furthermore, with the blessings of the Emperor of Azuras, vassal engagement in internal conflict may request, at a named and agreed price, the services of the House Tiber for the: production of siege weaponry, preparation of siege encampments, and the calculations for artillery. Artillery officers of the Barony of Hartwell shall not be provided in any vassal conflict, only our services in: production (via our workshop), construction, and calculations. Calculations reference the presence angle of: trebuchets, ballistas, and canons in order to directly hit their target. Our services can encompass as little as: ensuring an entrance into a castle, to destroying all enemy artillery in one volley. III | ON TRADE & PRODUCTION. The Barony of Hartwell is also home to the production of the Clapton Special, a brand of cigars; those who hold a certain taste and class in cigars should contact those of our noble barony to: test, taste, and bulk-purchase cigars. Furthermore, the Barony of Hartwell will, upon a long-term relationship, offer market-value at newly crafted siege weaponry outside of vassal conflict. This includes experimental gunners which have yet to come into public view. With our establishment, the Barony of Hartwell grows; as of now, a temporary encampment has been created on the parcel of Mount Beleg to engage in customers and those attempting to make friendship. Unfortunately, our friendship does not come cheap. Our blood is foretold to hail from dragons; in truth, it is our gunners that kill those very dragons of eld.