fluffycop 276 Share Posted July 30, 2023 (edited) Spoiler 10th of the Sun’s Smile, 139 SA By Decree Of: The Scholar, Gardalf Frostbeard ᛏᚬ ᚴᚬ ᛁᚢᛁᚾ ᚠᚢᚱᛏᚼᛁᚱ ᛒᛁᛁᚬᚾᛏ A SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS OF NORLAND ᛏᚬ ᚴᚬ ᛁᚢᛁᚾ ᚠᚢᚱᛏᚼᛁᚱ ᛒᛁᛁᚬᚾᛏ To the forever-weak coward of Norland, It has recently been brought to my attention that the Norlanders have been parading a recent “victory” against Urguan. This came as a shock to myself and my Frostbeard brethren who were in fact celebrating our hard fought victory against the Norlanders in the midst of women and ale! Celebrating the terror and wrath brought down upon the norlanders, by Chris Frostbeard, who returned from the battle with countless heads and a mane stained crimson red! Perhaps, maybe, the fight was not as victorious as it had seemed to us and we had made a grievous error in our judgment? At once, the greatest Frostbeard thinkers were assembled and put to work solving this conundrum. After much headwork and problem solving involving complex formulas, the scholars came to the conclusion that the Frostbeards were indeed victorious, and the Norlanders were mistaken. Here is the mathematical theorem which led them to this conclusion: Nine Frostbeards faced off against 180 Norlanders. 150 Norlanders were slain (with ease). Five Frostbeards were martyred heroes. By using a complex operation only recently brought to the backwards backwaters of Norland, called “subtraction”, we may assess that the Norlanders had lost more than a hundred forty-five more men in a conflict where they had outnumbered us twenty to one! The same scholars, upon the completion of their analysis, then got to work unearthing the reasoning to Norland’s mysterious claims to victory. Our conclusions are as such: The incestuous queen is facing symptoms of grief - no doubt to these countless losses - the most prevalent of which we have labeled as ‘cope’. Most likely a symptom of their incessant inbreeding. We will be sending our clan doctor, John Frostbeard, to assess the situation behind Norland’s walls. We hope to come with a clear diagnosis in the coming stone week. Spoiler Edited July 30, 2023 by fluffycop 27 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
OwOrc 355 Share Posted July 30, 2023 "Inbreeding es bad" Vithor said with a nod 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tornaedo 1009 Share Posted July 30, 2023 Merlin the Wizard would be distraught upon hearing their was a fight he missed in which could sell his services "My minas... I need more!" 6 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Legoboy7984 2448 Share Posted July 30, 2023 Torrhen Eiriksson remembers killing quite a lot of the Urguanites that showed up. Along with them hytailing away after losing yet another dwarf. Either way he was quite satisfied with all the gear he gained filled with Urguan equipment. Spoiler It was actually 15 vs 10 or 11 of you guys. The numbers were a lot closer than you thought. Also, it ended with 7v4 with the Urguan side calling it off after losing PCSwift at the end. Not here to argue that's just how it was. 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
sneakybandit 1503 Share Posted July 30, 2023 Balon Eiriksson sings a song 9 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
AnonymousAlexa 3877 Share Posted July 30, 2023 “Balon! Balon!” Hilda shook her brother-husband awake. “The dwarves recovered a few swords and armor pieces off the bodies of their fallen brothers. How can we recover from this insurmountable loss to our treasury?” She sobbed, cradling her incest-baby in her lengthy arms for comfort. @sneakybandit 8 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eokamaster 215 Share Posted July 30, 2023 12 minutes ago, Legoboy7984 said: Torrhen Eiriksson remembers killing quite a lot of the Urguanites that showed up. Along with them hytailing away after losing yet another dwarf. Either way he was quite satisfied with all the gear he gained filled with Urguan equipment. Reveal hidden contents It was actually 15 vs 10 or 11 of you guys. The numbers were a lot closer than you thought. Also, it ended with 7v4 with the Urguan side calling it off after losing PCSwift at the end. Not here to argue that's just how it was. Peter Frostbeard would smile upon remembering how he slew Torrhen and countless other norlanders at the battle. Spoiler Sorry brother, the fight was a 9 vs 35 in reality. Unfortunate loss. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
_pr0fit 2945 Share Posted July 30, 2023 1 minute ago, Eokamaster said: Peter Frostbeard would smile upon remembering how he slew Torrhen and countless other norlanders at the battle. Hide contents Sorry brother, the fight was a 9 vs 35 in reality. Unfortunate loss. Vykk smiles at another common Norlandic W Spoiler Actually you are wrong, it was a 3 (urguan) vs 150 (Norland) and 160 Norlanders died and urguan ended with 37 alive 7 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Borin 5270 Share Posted July 30, 2023 Spoiler And thus the two sides sit on the forums fighting over public opinion as to who truly won the latest inconsequential skirmish that will be forgotten about within a day - get a warclaim already, if you really want to fight literally just agree on different warclaim rules without the cost or whatever 14 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ichigomaster98 646 Share Posted July 30, 2023 Io stops reading after 'To the forever-weak coward of Norland,-' as they sit in the Vale tavern, having routed the Frostbeards by simply arriving. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Werew0lf 12179 Share Posted July 30, 2023 King Sugarfoot III runs into the battlefield and slays all Urguan and Norland soldiers by himself, before hobbling back home to his little halfling hut. 11 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
GreenWitchLys 72 Share Posted July 31, 2023 Euphemia sits in the Vale Tavern, laughing at what was posted, "Aye, t'eir tiny legs ran faster t'an a steed w'en t'ey tried us todaeh! Cowards. T'eyre ne even full men!" The 'ame continued to sing merrily with a mug full of mead in her hand! 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
PanicZealot 229 Share Posted July 31, 2023 The Elven Captain would read the message and laugh "So dwarves CAN right! Who knew?" 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancakehz 1697 Share Posted July 31, 2023 1 hour ago, PanicZealot said: The Elven Captain would read the message and laugh "So dwarves CAN right! Who knew?" "You're write!" says Gror Ireheart 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
KeatonUnbeaten 1102 Share Posted August 1, 2023 (edited) On 7/30/2023 at 11:51 PM, Borin said: Hide contents And thus the two sides sit on the forums fighting over public opinion as to who truly won the latest inconsequential skirmish that will be forgotten about within a day - get a warclaim already, if you really want to fight literally just agree on different warclaim rules without the cost or whatever Spoiler literally. warzone when? Edited August 1, 2023 by KeatonUnbeaten 2 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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