No commitment in hesitance.
Castiel stared at the empty spot before him, once occupied by the man whose heels crunch across the aged gravel of Dobrov and its dreadful splendor, its hideous beauty.
Perhaps, this square had once seen the occasional passerby rattled by the tirade of shopkeepers working for their next meal. Perhaps, this square had once seen the muddy tracks of visitors who trudged their bootprints into the inn’s floorboards as they entered. Perhaps, this square had once seen all, yet so little.
Now, it sees nothing at all.
This place had a hold over Castiel, yet it landed far from the jaws of nostalgia, how dare he compare it to such. It rendered something terrible, something that twisted his gut and brought a sourness to his throat.
But he is better than those who would turn a heel and make haste, and so he did not.
He bit his tongue and fear, the instinctual drive to leave, and sought the depths of the derelict village.
The dank scent of dust and dirt coated the air thick, seen floating through the beams of light that pierced the cracks of decaying wood. A series of dry coughs tore from Castiel’s throat as he entered the barnhouse, arm reflexively lifting to cover his nose and mouth throughout. He squinted through the debris, half-gaze scanning the interior of the structure.
Dead. Nothing moves within, not even the spiders that would naturally make home in the nooks of crevices or crannies. Carefully did he bring himself forth, eye following the staircase that led to the upper floor. A trembling hand extended, brushing across the splintered and dry railing as his foot, even with his skeleton-body, procured a violent creak from the first step.
Perhaps, this place warned his curiosity in its sudden outburst, but he would not allow it to get the best of him. Again, a step forth, and he soon found himself in the belly of misery.
Dried, cracked, and seemingly lapped at by the barn’s rodent inhabitants, that smear and pool of blood had never been cleaned. The knife was missing, though, that much Castiel recognized. The pale of once-water had either been drunk or evaporated, but the cause did not sate the internalized response.
Heat crept at Castiel’s neck, causing the air’s dust to stick to his skin, and his legs locked in place. Every angle of his mind screamed at him, perforated his intent, sought to tear apart whatever ridiculous game he played with the trauma.
Truth be told, he didn’t know why he was here. He hadn’t returned since that day, and since that day, he writhed in the depths of regret. He squirmed, much comparable to a worm, in the bowels of sloth and woe.
Yet, he stared, so fervently at the empty spot on the derelict floorboards. Perhaps, he thought, if he stared hard enough, he may be able to play a game of eye-spy with his missing silver eye.
There came the throaty croak of a crow, who perched in the window sill at Castiel’s left. With a sharp flinch did it break him from his trance, and he stared towards the bird with unspoken animosity. “Go, shoo,” Castiel warned, making some vague gesture towards the crow with his hands.
It did not. It stared back with its marble, glossy eye, as if to taunt the conflicted man. “I said go, get out of here!” again did he call, this time taking a step forth, then two, then three, before he found himself in a deft lunge towards the window.
The crow made off with a vibrant flap of its wings through the air, Castiel left lingering in its spot as his hands gripped the window sill white-knuckled.
And yet, perhaps there was some value to his outburst, some good outcome to this hellish experience. His gaze caught a glimpse of something long abandoned.
A book.