A SILENCE OF THREE PARTS [PK]

[esotericas 1558]

A SILENCE OF THREE PARTS [PK]

 

Spoiler

https://open.spotify.com/track/7KzyTWCXt9Ga9OgIPUPYjZ?si=26b013e2a8f14094 

((OOC: TRIGGER WARNING))

This post contains non-graphic suicide, suicidal ideation, and mentions of blood. If any of these topics could upset you, please click away.

 

I - A Silence of Held Breaths Released

A tired old man in the body of one much younger stands where home used to be. What was once home is now fields, farms, and a lonely winding road.

 

The man is cold, his thin body chilled as the winter wind bites through his coat. His frozen feet lead him on paths now overgrown, paths where once he walked every day. This way to the tavern. Up the hill to his old home. Through here to the park. To the swing and the gardens and the tree.

 

The sight of the tree hits him like a fist in his gut, and the man realizes this is where he must meet his inevitable end. 

 

Aruan Jay Ferinn is too many things. A sparrow, a shepherd. A father and a lover and a teller of stories and yet none of those things. He is a man who is everything but himself. 

 

Long ago, in another time entirely, Aruan wrote a note to a lover on this tree. The note remains there still, carved into the worn bark.

 

Aruan’s chilled hands shake as he pulls out his knife, knowing this act will hurt him far more than his death will, although that moment too is fast approaching.

 

-

 

Once his love note is gone, Aruan allows himself to breathe again. His first mistake is finally gone, and the weight on his shoulders lifts the slightest bit. (The note was written to a woman who no longer saw him as anything other than himself.)

 

He wonders what she could have been without him. He wonders if she knew, even then, how he was going to end. 

 

Aruan Jay Ferinn has always known. It has been an ever-present hum in the back of his head, whispered in his own voice and his mother’s and the voices of countless others.

 

Aruan kneels in front of the tree, carving a new message below what used to be his love note and is now a mess of chipped bark.

 

Here Lies A.J.F.

A stranger to all.

1760 - 58 S.A.

 

Aruan marks it with today’s date. He cleans the knife of tree bark with the cuff of his sleeve, and is comforted in the knowledge that someday this inscription will fade. 

 

After allowing himself the relief of one final breath,

 

Aruan Jay Ferinn is finally, finally free.

 

 

II - A Silence of Things Changing

A hush falls over Elysium. It is the time of night and morning that is both things and also neither of them.

 

A note sits on the kitchen table in the Ferinn home, placed where Aruan’s children will see it.

 

The note is brief, with a stack of letters next to it.

 

This is what it says.

 

By the time this letter reaches you all, I will be dead. 

I hope that you, my children, will not hate me for this. But I understand that you might. I am sorry.

 

I hope that I see you again one day, in a life beyond this one, but I hope that it is a long time before any of you leave this life.

Aruan.

 

Each letter is addressed to one of the Ferinn children.

 

 

III - A Silence of Messages Received

Aruan’s living doll August works tirelessly, delivering letters to those whom he has instructed it to.

 

To Rosalind @Generi:

Spoiler

Unlike the rest, two letters are delivered to Rosalind. The first marked with a date before their final conversation, the second marked with one after.

Rosalind -

 

I hope this letter finds you well, (or at least better than me.) I will be frank with you. I am dead. 

I had hoped to tell you this before the day came, but we both know you would stop me, and you are the only one who I believe truly would be able to.

 

You were my first true friend, and my dearest one. I hope you know this, and that this fact stays with you always. I have finally done what I should have done years ago, and I hope you understand that it will be a great relief for me to be free.

 

I leave you my pets, and I hope you take good care of them.

Yours,

AJF

-

Rosalind -

 

I’m sorry. I tried to tell you, and I’m sorry that it didn’t work. I love you, and I always will. No matter what.

 

In a lot of ways, you remind me of myself. It’s a silly, vain thing to say, but it’s true. Maybe it’s why I needed to be there for you. More than anything else I’ve ever truly needed, I needed that. You’re stubborn, and angry at the world, and it scares me, I think. I don’t want you to meet the same stupid, miserable end that I'm going to meet.

 

All I will say is that I hope you find someone who brings as much happiness into your life as you did mine.

 

You can be angry with me. I would. I’m angry with myself for you. There’s no but here. I’m just giving you permission. 

 

All I ask is that you don’t forget about me.

Aruan.

Along with the letters comes a paper-wrapped package, containing Aruan’s sketchbooks.

To Adelina @LuxyLucy:

Spoiler

To my beloved Addie -

 

I don’t know how this news will have first reached your ears, but I am dead. 

 

It breaks my heart to know that I will never see you grow into the beautiful young woman I know you will be, but I promise you I will be watching from the Seven Skies.

 

Remember to tell your sisters that you love them,

Papa

To Arcelia @marslol:

Spoiler

Celi -

 

Of all the letters I have written, my attempts at this one have affected me perhaps the most.

 

Savor your time in this world, my precious one. Do not let the same poison that drowned my mind do the same to yours. Be kind to your sisters, and keep your heart and hands open.

 

I leave you custody of my shop and the Ferinn home, when you come of age. I also leave you my jewelry collection, in the hopes that you may someday use some of it.

 

Remember me.

Love,

Papa

To Andora @Generi:

Spoiler

To my precious Andora -

 

You brought sunlight to my life in a way I will never properly be able to describe. I wish I could see that light just once more, but my time has come to leave this world.

 

I hope that one day you will understand why this had to happen, but for now I just want you to know that I love you. 

 

Take care of your friends, they love you more than you know.

Papa.

To Eugeo @Suicidium:

Spoiler

Eugeo -

 

Once you receive this letter, I will be dead.

 

You have been a dear friend to me, and I can not thank you enough for the comfort you brought into my life. 

 

I hope that when I am gone you will continue to bring that comfort to others, and that the rest of your life is gentle on you and filled with joy.

AJF

To Lotte @marslol:

Spoiler

Lotte -

 

The day has come for my death. I will be honest with you, as I always have. 

 

You have been a dearer friend to me than I ever thought possible, and I hope you know I hold you close to my heart, even now.

 

I’m so sorry I was never able to finish learning magic from you, but I hope that whichever student you take on next will not be so foolish.

 

I hope the rest of your days are long and bright,

AJF

 

 

((OOC NOTE))

Thank you all so, so much. I hope to never forget the memories I’ve made on Aruan, and I hope you all don’t forget me either.

 

Aruan was my first ever persona, and he's stuck with me in ways I never realized a character could. I feel like there's something symbolic in the death of one's first character, especially one so emotionally significant to them, but I don't have the words, so I won't try. 

 

May the sun smile upon you,

Wowsirs.

 

 

IV - Epilogue

Spoiler

When Aruan’s head stops spinning and the sight of his blood leaves his vision, he is not where he expected to be.

 

The Father’s Hall is warm. Its details are vague in his vision, and the hum of chatter drowns out any hope at identifying voices. But when Aruan’s gaze catches on a bowed blond head, he knows that, for once, he is in the right place.

 

Aruan Jay Ferinn is home.

 

[Javert 5573]

Said blonde headed man smiled as he saw Aruan enter the father's hall, and he soon rose to greet the man as he entered. "Well then, suppose Oi'll show ye around ey? Welcome home."

[LupinCrystal 168]

"Rest easy my friend, you don't have to hurt anymore" A soft smile crosses Amethyst's lips as she looks out the window. Her eyes closing, inhaling deeply 

[CaffeinatedCrow 162]

Word spreads fast in times of strife, that was no different for Meredith. Only a numbness was felt as she heard the news, yet behind closed doors she wept. Those she had thought would live much longer than her were dropping like flies. The pain was heavy, for she remembered old days with tea and bear-hugs, now all that is left is bloody tears and hollow hearts. "Rest well...mo chara." She utters to the wind.

[Periphonics 358]

Such news hits the wood elf hard. What had previously been a good year seemed to crumble around him upon hearing such a dear friend had fallen to his own self. With drooped ears he walks through Elysium solemnly, much of the life in him fallen. It's only in the company of himself or his lovers do the tears fall, and they fall in gallons. La vie en noir, one could say. "Aspects guide," He would say to the memory of his friend, "I 'ope ye find peace."

[camocat9 1021]

Christopher de Astrea, still wallowing in the pain of his father-in-law, Absolon's, death, hears word of Aruan's death too. He had been miserable for the past years, but these consecutive deaths had utterly deflated him. He remained silent in his room this time, closing his eyes. The dim, flickering candlelight illuminated his gaunt face, and as he stared at the weathered wooden floorboards, he wondered how much more would he endure before he finally had enough...

[christman 2307]

The haggish husk of what once was an Amaricius produced a rage filled cry. A uncharacteristic bout of manic anger overtaking her.