BonesOfTheEarth 1593 Popular Post Share Posted November 21, 2020 I swore I wouldn't write one of these, but here I am. I feel there's a few things still weighing on my shoulders that I need to let go of - I'll begin by saying that I don't want to declare LoTC as a terrible, horrible server. Nor do I want to declare it a wonderful experience. It simply is. It exists, I played it. It is a game like any other; a way of passing the time, frustrating at times and enjoyable at others. I will say however, that I resigned myself to eventually leave when I was something like fifteen or sixteen years old. For years I told myself that the moment I turned eighteen, I would be too old to continue playing and would have to move onto other parts of my life. I joined at fourteen years of age. Now, I'm nearly twenty. I found myself attempting to try and right wrongs in the time I was on the server, to change perceptions and outlooks. Why? I'm not too certain, but lo' and behold, the time has come. I'll be departing LoTC; weep, pray, do whatever you please. That's the majority of it right there. I'm departing, it's nothing explicitly to do with the server itself, though a few players did play a part. One could safely sum up my departure to.. growing up, however. No need to pick anything apart. If anyone is interested in the weights I carry and the reasons I make this a post, read below and come to your own conclusions: Spoiler I joined LoTC for the first time in March 2015 under the username of Fury_Fire, with the character many have come to know as Lefkos Amethil. It was a great time, the son of Locke Lamora and Evelangeline Avern(the latter only decided when I introduced the player to the server). I made him at the age of eighteen and he's not been autoaged; he's over three hundred now. I had great times as he grew up, learning electrical evocation from his father, which expanded into many other forms of magic. Like most Voidal Mages at the time, he had connections with Dark Mages. Best friends with a Mystic. At early Vailor I joined my first proper friend group despite having been around since late Athera. In this group, an Admin and a number of Moderators beneath said Admin were present. Eventually without warning or reason, I began to be ostracized from the Teamspeak groups. Conveniently forgetting to inform me of passwords, IP Changes, etc. I took a hint, and I left. Two months later, now early 2016, I joined a new group of friends. We got along great like the first; not but two weeks later this Admin joined that group. I sighed and figured maybe it was a coincidence. Maybe I overthought things. The action... Repeated itself. Only this time, I was outright removed after some time of ostracizing and me eventually not showing up as much. A third group came. A final one, for these cases. Specifically I became closer friends with a group involving Keening, Deer__, Creete, and one other GM at the time I cant remember. This is around the time my character Tam'naeuth Terin, an already connected Cleric, began to learn from the dwindling High Elf Clerics rather than the wood elven one, and that was the group involved with them. This Admin joined that group - but I confronted him then. We made some form of amends, and he reinvited me back to the first of the groups that he had relatively taken over. For a time all was well, until this Admin began to date OOCly my character's daughter, 5 years old at the time, and made comments about kidnapping her. We laughed it off as a joke. One day, I suddenly here my Character's IRP Wife at the time allowed Crumena to take her, after the individual approached me OOCly saying she was pressured into it by big red admin man. I went along with it IRP at first, until one day the daughter stopped showing up. Clearly, my character threw a fit - only to be told he wasn't fit to be a father and no longer was allowed a daughter in Haelun'or. Before I continue, let me clarify that the RP issues above remain and remained in RP. The following is what is important. A good while passed. Like a month or so. In that time, Lefkos became a Mystic for the soul purpose of revenge. Rather suddenly a student of Lefkos said his daughter wanted to speak with him and was in Sutica. I showed up, was surrounded by 7 different wizards, this Admin included, and killed. Lefkos' Body Was Left Down There In The Tavern Basement. I was then pulled into Teamspeak(Right at its fall and beginning of Discord) by this Admin and a Moderation Manager at the time. For no reason, I was told I had to PK my character. That as an Admin he withheld the right to force that decision upon me. Now I can see that as a blatant misuse of power, but you need to remember - I was a child. I was fifteen, maybe sixteen years old. I thought it was unfair but nothing could be done about it. Immediately, someone asked me to become a Lich. I said sure, they mentioned it to this Admin - and like clockwork his character said "I forgot to destroy the body." And did that. I was infuriated. I messaged an LT at the time asking if a Graven undergoing the potion that allowed an undead a mortal body could become a Lich. This LT(Who is still on the team) asked the chat for me, and informed me it was allowed and perfectly a-okay. So I did it, and boy was there an uproar. Any veterans of the server can likely tell who the Admin is I have been referring to, who will remain officially unnamed. This individual was vastly accepted and enjoyed by the community at the time. Most of the time, if he said something, it simply was. This clearly changed in later years, but it was the sad reality of that time. He began to spread rumors of me; powergaming, min-maxing, etcetera. I will grant a single example so not to overly clog my writing: I was commissioned some ten magical items over the period of a month in Sutica. I carried them, and as a Lich was caught and attacked. I escaped, but emoted my character's bag being pulled away. I dropped my inventory. This Admin was present and saw the items, and began to maliciously spread the rumor that I was using all ten in combat; I did not use any but a single personal item to myself, not one of the ten commissioned ones. But what is an Iron VIP's word to an Admin's? I was informed after that a new rule(only carrying 3 magic items at a time in combat) was made because of my actions I did not commit. Let me interrupt here to say over the years, many attempts to have me blacklisted from magic, and many magic reports, were made from rumors began by this individual. Not one time was a single piece of evidence brought to me. I will admit; I minmaxed. I was a child. I am regretful that many who exist now who also existed back then, do not understand that people grow up. They get older. They learn. So did I, but an impression was made four years ago that remains to this day. I was frankly, pissed. But I couldn't do anything. I continued on; lied to In Roleplay by the necromancers who made me a lich and my Phylactery was kept. I was forced to do dumb actions, such as "walk into sutica and kill anyone you see." That was not my preferred choice. Yes, I played my character poorly beyond this in his social interactions(slice of life undead :< ). But, for the third time, I was a child. I was 16 at this point. I was upset and confronted this admin, I asked why he spread malicious rumors that cling to me to this day, I asked him why he hated me. He said "Your tone of voice - I can't help it, but it gives me a headache when you talk." In reference to me in the midst of puberty voice cracks. He admitted to me that he sought to ruin my experience on this server, because I was going through puberty. A few years passed and I was urged to "make amends" earlier this map. In the end, he was given a list of every wrongdoing he had ever performed. Not denying them, he claimed "I can't help it I have autism." The admin left, Lich's got shelved. I became a Paladin, and decided I wanted to do some good. I made a massive proposition piece that led to the Athera eventline, I began to believe I was doing well. But individuals who remembered me as a child, and never truly interacted with me, upheld their opinions. Things began to happen - People began to approach me after interactions in random discord chats, telling me things. "[Redacted] said they would ban me from their discord if I became your friend." Usually, these people realized the ridiculousness of such a demand on them and left the groups that did it. Many became my friends anyways. I made mistakes. My character, a supposed "Dragon Slayer," married an Azdrazi. But those actions were taken In Game. It wasn't until a few months ago that it was truly brought up as such though, even though the issue is now ages old; it was entirely OOC. Forum Status Updates were made referencing it indirectly, making any attempt if I would have made any to point it out likely summed up to whining. People would, mostly in one particular group, take turns dropping snide remarks so no evidence beyond one comment could ever truly be gained against one of them. Even now I uphold to a degree that the portion of negativity aimed at me stems from player inability to separate Fantasy RPing from Reality. Not all. I am not a flawless person enough to claim that; I'd say I'm more flawed than most. Even areas where I cannot see, I must admit I have made errors to have garnered so much attention. With that tale over, I would like to leave @ScreamingDingo, @SquakHawk, and @Malaise an apology for lashing out a few months ago. That was immature. I leave the three of you with this however: Imagine if you stood by a doorway, and one person who passed you insulted you once. You ignore it, right? If it's the same person repeatedly, you have them thrown out, removed, etc. If it's one, it's a standalone case. Besides, you need to have thick skin to play LoTC. But imagine if every third person insulted you, also a single time. People who, sometimes, you do not know. People who have never heard you speak, never met you. How many insults do you take before you cave? How many cuts does it take for your thick skin to bleed? And when you do break, who do you lash out at? Who do you aim your frustrations to, when each person's action individually was small? So small that you are just whining to complain about it? I envy the three of you, able to take heat seemingly endlessly with no outright backlash from you to others. I don't mean to insinuate a lack of emotion, but instead a great amount of control. Again, I envy you. But understand that I, and perhaps others, have limits vastly lower. I apologize that my frustrations then were aimed at you when they should not have been. I understand some of you in particular already go under a lot more stress and did not need that added on top. And do not let this be misconstrued with why I am departing; I have grown, and merely decided it is time to close this door. I've a career to pursue, a life now. A plan. I'm not so conceited as to leave while pinning blame or hiding my mistakes. Lastly, and truly lastly, a few parting words to a few I may not speak with as often from now on: Spoiler @ScreamingDingo Kind of an ass, but I appreciate your work and honestly admire a great amount of the things you strive for with the server. Good work finishing the job with the Snow Elves you left a few years back. @Witchlore I'm sorry that we met in such a time in growing up, that we arrived and departed as entirely different people. Hope your cat behaves o7 @Kalehart Genuinely glad you never turned against me despite who you befriended beyond myself. You made a comment in passing after an In RP situation where Lefkos took a hit for Celiasil; "People say Lefkos is such a bad person but Celiasil has this happen and goes 'I dunno, I kind of like him'." I couldn't tell you exactly why, but that stuck with me. The notion that you, beyond your persona on the server, might just truly be somebody who doesn't adhere to hearsay and rumors, would be my guess. A rarity. I wish you the best my friend. @Toodles78 Happy Birthday. I'll be missing future opportunities, I am sorry old friend ! @Valaryon You were my brother at a time. Maybe one day you'll believe that I fought for you. Either way, I don't hate you. I'm still contactable over discord for those interested. And please don't deny my magic students I'll try and find them new teachers and keep you updated. See you folks later 37 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
squakhawk 7945 Share Posted November 21, 2020 No hard feelings man, take it easy. Wish you the best of luck with things to come. 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kalehart 1064 Share Posted November 21, 2020 Hate to see you go man, it's been a long ride. You've always been a good friend to me, every interaction I think we've ever had has been a pleasant one, and I will defend the quality of your character until I run out of breath. Whatever mistakes you may have made, as we all do sometimes, you're a good guy and I hope others recognize that as well. There is nothing to be gained in mindlessly villainizing people, and you are a far more decent, upstanding and good-natured person than some try to paint you as being. Most of my characters in the last few years have interacted with Lefkos in some form or another, to the point that it seems like we kind of developed an RP dynamic that carried between characters in a way that I always found really fun, and you've consistently been one of my favorite people to RP with on this server for as long as I've known you. I'll mourn the loss of the Celia-Lefkos-Rav dream team. Whatever the future holds, I wish you the absolute best and, should you ever decide to come back, I'll be eager to RP again. 5 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
- Pastry 931 Share Posted November 21, 2020 As the guy who was Haelun'or NL during that admin nonsense in Axios, I owe you a big apology. Allowing people under me -- and allowing myself -- to ostracize a fella like you so hard was absolutely no bueno. There was more I could have done to be a proper community leader at the time that I didn't. Thanks for being such a great sport about it these many years, though. anyway thanks for the shnice rp over the past 4-5ish years. stay safe dont get covid 4 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
justDEWit 133 Share Posted November 21, 2020 Hey bud, it's been real cool to get to know you over the time you've played on the server. Whenever we had conflict with one another on our characters, it was cool because we personally were always able to keep it in roleplay and it was especially exciting to see what you'd pull out of your bag next. Ravondir and Lefkos were able to build a pretty good relationship towards the end, and it always made me feel good inside to know how far they've come over the literal IRL years of knowing one another. No matter what anyone says (or if it means anything to you at all), you're a pretty decent guy in my eyes. Keep on going man. I'll miss you, and I'll be around when you come back and need someone to talk to. Sad to see you go. 32 minutes ago, Kalehart said: I'll mourn the loss of the Celia-Lefkos-Rav dream team. ^^ literally this ^^ 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemini 1639 Share Posted November 21, 2020 It was good to RP with you once a in a while c : Hopefully life treats you well. Good luck and don’t **** it up, as Rupaul would say Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Punished_Pup 1364 Share Posted November 21, 2020 2 hours ago, BonesOfTheEarth said: I'm still contactable over discord for those interested. And please don't deny my magic students I'll try and find them new teachers and keep you updated. Aka he is gonna play League with whoever wants to play it with him. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valaryon 513 Share Posted November 21, 2020 19 hours ago, Magicpastry said: As the guy who was Haelun'or NL during that admin nonsense in Axios, I owe you a big apology. Allowing people under me -- and allowing myself -- to ostracize a fella like you so hard was absolutely no bueno. There was more I could have done to be a proper community leader at the time that I didn't. Thanks for being such a great sport about it these many years, though. anyway thanks for the shnice rp over the past 4-5ish years. stay safe dont get covid Pretty ironic. 20 hours ago, BonesOfTheEarth said: @Valaryon You were my brother at a time. Maybe one day you'll believe that I fought for you. Either way, I don't hate you. Spoiler You know Will - these past six months have been pretty interesting. A lot of people who wronged me over the last year have come back and made amends, apologized for their behavior, and mended rifts (or at least have taken steps to) that I quite honestly never thought would be. You'll know who I'm referring to, but Bailey and Noah both - after almost a full year of animosity approached me. I'm sure you and I both felt there was no way in hell that day would ever come and honestly burying the anger, the bitterness was probably the best decision I could've made. Even some of the Haelun'orians who've explicitly listened to one side of the tale - have approached me and apologized for listening to Ankan and his loyal followers. Cookiie being the most recent example, came forward and listened to my outrage at his actions. But you know what? Sometimes time does heal all wounds. He apologized, he admitted his fault and holding anger and bitterness at that point only hurts me. The dude apologized and doesn't justify his actions, what more can I ask of him? So with our mutual friends and many of the High Elves who've come and apologized to me, I've forgiven and tried to forget. I appreciate you admit your faults here Will. We're only human, and I know that. What's always mattered to me was just admitting mistakes were made. I'm not perfect either dude, I've certainly made missteps with our mutual friends in all that drama but perhaps now we can talk and try to forgive and forget like I'm sitting here preaching about. If I've learned anything about life, maturity is how we reflect on the past. 13 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
garentoft 8353 Share Posted November 21, 2020 o7 young man, see you around. 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
UnBaed 8956 Share Posted November 21, 2020 you may escape LoTC, but we all know you will never escape league. let’s play later today 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
HurferDurfer1 2584 Share Posted November 21, 2020 i heard from someone ^ that ur bad at league? Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
ToodIes 1195 Share Posted November 21, 2020 I hope you can make a clean break, friend. You deserve that much. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
rukio 8910 Share Posted November 21, 2020 I loved the experiences and who you were as a person when I first returned in 2017. I enjoyed what roleplay we had, though I was quite all over the place. I know all too well what you endured and felt, and I remember the frustration and disinterest I had in paladin after you were disconnected. As much as some people hate or dislike you, I don't think I ever did. You were a fantastic roleplayer and OOC friend, even if your league builds are a bit helter skelter. I'm sorry we've drifted apart since my ban but I'm proud of you for not leaving the server in anger or hate. You've grown so much, even from the time I first met you. I wish you the best of luck with college and everything else you're going to go do. That is, unless, of course, you try to outrank me on league, and then I refuse to wish you luck ❤️ Take care, hopefully we at least keep in touch on discord every few months. If not though, it was nice to know you and I hope you find peace and meaning in the world. Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
TakeMeT0TheFae 951 Share Posted November 21, 2020 (edited) I just came back after a 5 year hiatus and I didn't realize you still played my, though I guess that just ended. While I wish I could have realized it was you while you were still on to maybe get a bit of RP in I wish you all the best my dude. I hope everything goes well! Edited November 21, 2020 by TakeMeT0TheFae 1 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
Malaise 1569 Share Posted November 21, 2020 @BonesOfTheEarth I didn't expect to be tagged in this post -- mostly because I've never taken offense to your actions. I've played into the notions that you are what "they" say you are, but have never taken what "they" say to heart. I wish you luck moving forward and hope you do not hold yourself accountable for whatever opinions people might hold of you. This is a Minecraft role-playing server. It is perhaps the least significant part of your life thus far. If this is to be your last post ever, it was a humble and endearing one. Remember that to fare at all is well. See you, FuryFire 3 Link to post Share on other sites More sharing options...
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