A SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS OF NORLAND

[fluffycop 276]

Spoiler

 

 

10th of the Sun’s Smile, 139 SA

By Decree Of:

The Scholar, Gardalf Frostbeard

ᛏᚬ ᚴᚬ ᛁᚢᛁᚾ ᚠᚢᚱᛏᚼᛁᚱ ᛒᛁᛁᚬᚾᛏ

 

A SCIENTIFIC ANALYSIS OF NORLAND
 

ᛏᚬ ᚴᚬ ᛁᚢᛁᚾ ᚠᚢᚱᛏᚼᛁᚱ ᛒᛁᛁᚬᚾᛏ

 

To the forever-weak coward of Norland,

 

It has recently been brought to my attention that the Norlanders have been parading a recent “victory” against Urguan. This came as a shock to myself and my Frostbeard brethren who were in fact celebrating our hard fought victory against the Norlanders in the midst of women and ale! Celebrating the terror and wrath brought down upon the norlanders, by Chris Frostbeard, who returned from the battle with countless heads and a mane stained crimson red!

 

Perhaps, maybe, the fight was not as victorious as it had seemed to us and we had made a grievous error in our judgment? At once, the greatest Frostbeard thinkers were assembled and put to work solving this conundrum. After much headwork and problem solving involving complex formulas, the scholars came to the conclusion that the Frostbeards were indeed victorious, and the Norlanders were mistaken. Here is the mathematical theorem which led them to this conclusion:

 

Nine Frostbeards faced off against 180 Norlanders.

 

150 Norlanders were slain (with ease).

Five Frostbeards were martyred heroes.

 

By using a complex operation only recently brought to the backwards backwaters of Norland, called “subtraction”, we may assess that the Norlanders had lost more than a hundred forty-five more men in a conflict where they had outnumbered us twenty to one! The same scholars, upon the completion of their analysis, then got to work unearthing the reasoning to Norland’s mysterious claims to victory. Our conclusions are as such:

 

The incestuous queen is facing symptoms of grief - no doubt to these countless losses - the most prevalent of which we have labeled as ‘cope’. Most likely a symptom of their incessant inbreeding. We will be sending our clan doctor, John Frostbeard, to assess the situation behind Norland’s walls. We hope to come with a clear diagnosis in the coming stone week.

 

 

Spoiler

Edited July 30, 2023 by fluffycop

[OwOrc 354]

"Inbreeding es bad" Vithor said with a nod 

[Tornaedo 1009]

Merlin the Wizard would be distraught upon hearing their was a fight he missed in which could sell his services "My minas... I need more!"

[Legoboy7984 2441]

Torrhen Eiriksson remembers killing quite a lot of the Urguanites that showed up. Along with them hytailing away after losing yet another dwarf. Either way he was quite satisfied with all the gear he gained filled with Urguan equipment.

 

Spoiler

It was actually 15 vs 10 or 11 of you guys. The numbers were a lot closer than you thought. Also, it ended with 7v4 with the Urguan side calling it off after losing PCSwift at the end. Not here to argue that's just how it was.

 

[sneakybandit 1503]

Balon Eiriksson sings a song

 

[AnonymousAlexa 3877]

“Balon! Balon!” Hilda shook her brother-husband awake. “The dwarves recovered a few swords and armor pieces off the bodies of their fallen brothers. How can we recover from this insurmountable loss to our treasury?” She sobbed, cradling her incest-baby in her lengthy arms for comfort. @sneakybandit

[Eokamaster 215]

12 minutes ago, Legoboy7984 said:

Torrhen Eiriksson remembers killing quite a lot of the Urguanites that showed up. Along with them hytailing away after losing yet another dwarf. Either way he was quite satisfied with all the gear he gained filled with Urguan equipment.

 

  Reveal hidden contents

It was actually 15 vs 10 or 11 of you guys. The numbers were a lot closer than you thought. Also, it ended with 7v4 with the Urguan side calling it off after losing PCSwift at the end. Not here to argue that's just how it was.

 

Peter Frostbeard would smile upon remembering how he slew Torrhen and countless other norlanders at the battle. 

Spoiler

Sorry brother, the fight was a 9 vs 35 in reality. Unfortunate loss.

 

[_pr0fit 2945]

1 minute ago, Eokamaster said:

Peter Frostbeard would smile upon remembering how he slew Torrhen and countless other norlanders at the battle. 

  Hide contents

Sorry brother, the fight was a 9 vs 35 in reality. Unfortunate loss.

 

Vykk smiles at another common Norlandic W

 

Spoiler

Actually you are wrong, it was a 3 (urguan) vs 150 (Norland) and 160 Norlanders died and urguan ended with 37 alive

 

[Borin 5259]

Spoiler

And thus the two sides sit on the forums fighting over public opinion as to who truly won the latest inconsequential skirmish that will be forgotten about within a day - get a warclaim already, if you really want to fight literally just agree on different warclaim rules without the cost or whatever

 

 

[ichigomaster98 634]

Io stops reading after 'To the forever-weak coward of Norland,-' as they sit in the Vale tavern, having routed the Frostbeards by simply arriving.

[Werew0lf 12022]

King Sugarfoot III runs into the battlefield and slays all Urguan and Norland soldiers by himself, before hobbling back home to his little halfling hut. 

[GreenWitchLys 72]

Euphemia sits in the Vale Tavern, laughing at what was posted, "Aye, t'eir tiny legs ran faster t'an a steed w'en t'ey tried us todaeh! Cowards. T'eyre ne even full men!" The 'ame continued to sing merrily with a mug full of mead in her hand! 

[PanicZealot 206]

The Elven Captain would read the message and laugh "So dwarves CAN right! Who knew?"

 

[Pancakehz 1697]

1 hour ago, PanicZealot said:

The Elven Captain would read the message and laugh "So dwarves CAN right! Who knew?"

 

"You're write!" says Gror Ireheart

[KeatonUnbeaten 1102]

On 7/30/2023 at 11:51 PM, Borin said:

  Hide contents

And thus the two sides sit on the forums fighting over public opinion as to who truly won the latest inconsequential skirmish that will be forgotten about within a day - get a warclaim already, if you really want to fight literally just agree on different warclaim rules without the cost or whatever

 

 

Spoiler

literally. warzone when?

 

Edited August 1, 2023 by KeatonUnbeaten