Gambit

Winchester would wonder if this the land could be used for his capitalist agenda.

Addressed: The Holy Orenian Emperor, the Orenian Supreme Court. LOOK AT THE LETTER!!! See the skull, the part of bone removed, the "master-race" Iblees magic controls, the Brain-thoughts Broadcasting stone beacon, the Eyesight Television, the Pontifical Earphone emissionsions, the Threshold Brainwash Radio, the latest new skull reforming to contain ALL Frankenstein Controls, even in THIN skulls of WHITE PEDIGREE MALES! Visible Frankenstein controls! The synthetic nerve-radio directional antennae loop! Make copies for yourself! There is NO ESCAPE from this worst gangster police state, using ALL of the deadly gangster Iblees Popery controls! ___________________________________________________ In 47 S.A, Haensermen gangster police BEAT ME BLOODY, dragged me IN CHAINS from Dobrov! Since then I HIDE in forced jobless poverty, isolated alone in this low deadly Dwedski old house. The brazen, deadly Gangster Police and Pope-puppet underlings spray me with POISON NERVE AGENTS from horse breath and even books! DEADLY ASSAULTS, even in my yard with knives, even bricks and stones, even DEADLY TOUCH TABIN or ELECTRIC SHOCK WANDS AND SWORDS; even remote magikally controlled around-corners-projection of DEADLY TOUCH TARANTULA SPIDERS or even bloody-murder "accidents" to shut me up forever with a Sneak Undetectable Extermination! Even with trained parroting puppet pope dwed assassins in MAXIMUM SECURITY INSANITY PRISON for writing these unforgivable TRUTHS!! ___________________________________________________ Until my undetectable extermination, I, Winchester C. Baker, esq., VI Brae Street, Du Loc, I STAND ALONE against your mad, deadly, worldwide conspiratorial Gangster Dark Magic Void God Pontifical network with wall-to-wall deadly Gangster protection, life-long sworn conspirators, Falcon Company LIMITED, organized crime, the MOJ and judges, the Deadly Sneak Parroting Puppet Gangsters using all the Gangster deadly Iblees POPES controls! These hangmanrope sneak deadly gangsters, the judges and the Ministry of "Justice," trick, trap, rob, wreck, butcher, and MURDER the people to keep them TERRORIZED in Gangster Popeish Haensermen earphone radio slavery for the Voidal Magic Gangster Government and con-artist Parroting Puppet Gangster-playboy scum-on-top! When they kidnapped me to my Mercatorii-Savoyard homeland from Eastfleet I was kept up constantly and refused to eat or sleep. The secret work of all Haensermen secret polic, in order to maintain a VOIDAL EQUALIST, "closed society"! The same worldwide mad deadly Iblees Popes and Dwedski gangster ROCK MAJIK god that controls YOU as a terrorized Gangster Iblees VOID Earphone NETWORK slave! Parroting Puppet, you are a terrorized member of the "MASTER RACE" worldwide 4 BILLION eye-sight brain waves guinea pig void insurgents Gangster cultist God MASTER RACE! You're LIVING, THINKING mad, deadly worldwide CULTIST Gangster Iblees God SECRET OVERALL PLAN: WORLDWIDE LIVING DEATH DWEDSKI SLAVERY to explore and control the ENTIRE UNIVERSE with the endless "STAIRWAY TO THE STARS" - namely the manmade inside-out planets with VOID POWER powered speeds MUCH faster than the speed of light! Look up and see the Gangster VOID God concocted NEW FAKE STARRY SKY! The worldwide completely controlled deadly degenerative climate and atmosphere through the new world round Translucent Exotic Gaseous Envelope which the worldwide terrorist Gangster Void God MANIPULATES through countless exactly positioned satellites; THE NEW FAKE PHONY "STARS" IN THE SYNTHETIC "SKY"!! For AGES before Iblees Controls apeoidic Dweds interbreedable with ROCKS had no alphabet, not even NUMERALS! Slavery conspiracy over 300 years ago ideally tiny-brained SHORTMEN PAGAN Gangster government Eyesight TV Gangster spy men and rats, VOID IBLEES slavers New World Order DEGENERATION! When "gifted" with all Gangster Iblees controls, Dwedski deadly Gangster Parroting Puppet or Haensermen trained PROGRAMMED DU LOC BOTS DEADLY APE-IBLEES MACHINES!! Degenerative disease to ETERNAL Iblees slavery!! Overall plan through "ONE WORLD VOIDISM" (Top Secret codeword!!!) meaning "worldwide absolutely helpless-and-hopeless simple-languaged mongrel-mulatto- apeoidic DWEDSKI"!! Worldwide, systematic instant moldable surgery BUTCHERY MURDER, fake ageing so ALL people are dead or useless by age 70! Done at night to YOU as a Iblees slave! Parroting puppet Gangster slave, now even you know I am a MENACE to your worldwide, mad, deadly VOIDAL Gangster ROCK MAGIC God! Therefore, I must go to extermination. Before I am exterminated by this gangster, Iblees Void God concocted and controlled worst mongrel organized crime capital sin Gangster insurgent government, I hand YOU the secrets to save the entire mortal race, and the entire UNIVERSE! From: Winchester C. Baker.

Thats actually pretty cool

"An eye for a eye and a leg for a leg." Winchester stated, before wrapping his mail coif around his head, before setting off on his quintillionth raid in Dwed territory

Winchester, pronounced capitalist and small business owner would sweat,

Winchester would remember how he fought, for the first half of the battle, before he mysteriously blacked out I woke up back home.

Can wait for all the passive aggressive replies. Keep it to yourselves champs

Sheesh, that sure was biiiiiiiiig battle! Maybe you're hungry? Maybe your armor has succumb to wear and tear? Well, soldier, that sure is a shame! But, we at Baker Family and Co. have amazing news for fellers down on your luck! Come to the Pomegranate Bakery in Du Loc, (VI Brae Street) where we sell baked goods of the highest quality! Or maybe come to Two Godric Street in Arichsdorf, and get some new arms and armor at Winchester Arms and Armor!

Winchester, having arrived moments after the battles end, was glad that this benefited his capitalist agenda, as he was successfully able to barter for cattle.

We're deep in the Witcher larp now boys

An Open Letter to the Imperial Emperor ---------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------- ‡ From my humble, (and amazing) start as a Goat Farmer, and herder of my fathers flock, I have prided myself on my goats. However, as I urbanize in the glorious, spectacular, most wonderful city of Du Loc, (I was not payed to say this) have been forced to liberate my flock, as now many graze free, with only a handful in my pen now. AND, as my business expand, my need for size of my original flock return. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Now, Orenian Emperor, I propose to you: I am given the title of Baron. I am given a hereditary title. I am given the appropriate land fitting of a Baron, north of Providence on the border with Haense. I am given two hundred Mina. (Can be negotiated) I am given a Levy of five hundred men. (Can be negotiated) In return, Orenian Emperor, you will receive: A life-times supply of Goats Milk. A life-times supply of Goats Cheese. A life-times supply of Goats Meat. A very happy Goat Farmer. The population of land. ---------------------------------------------------------------- Now, you, your Holy Orenian Emperor self, may be skeptical. You may be saying, "Why give this handsome, talented, hardworking and smart, Goat Farmer, his well deserved demands?" Well, Mr. Emperor, I share your views on Humanic unity, as well as, the land I propose... Is empty. Let me use it. Your Emperor-ness, this is a risk free deal, and you only gain from this, and once you invest, it will pay off in your favor. From: Winchester, The Goat Farmer, Entrepreneur.

Winchester pondered how this could benefit his capitalist agenda.

Winchester would love the idea, simply for how wacky it was.

Winchester, the Goat Farmer of Du Loc, not having kept up with the ongoing crisis, would be in shock upon hearing that the Irehearts, of all Dwarves, attempted to collaborate with the Orenians. Before immediately going to bother his wife with the news.

To the: - Holy Father, His Holiness Everard VI, High Pontiff of the Church of the Canon, Archbishop of Visigia, Successor of the High Priesthood of the Church, Supreme Pontiff of the Church of True Faith, Keeper of the Canon, Missionary to Aeldin, High Servant to the Exalted's Testaments, Humble Servant to the Faithful and Vicar of GOD. Keep it up, we're proud of you, you can do this. From: Winchester, The Goat Farmer, God Lover A poorly drawn happy face would be drawn:

A Gravel Miners Prayer --------------------------------------------------------- --------------------------------------------------------- ‡ Dear Lord Each day I descend into the deep - cutting stone to earn my keep I pray to my Father, in the Skies above - That I return to the ones I love If somehow in death, and I should meet my end - As even the grave-pits need to feed I want my loved ones to be sure - in Saints arms I am secure. --------------------------------------------------------- Praise Be God, and his Holy Exalted. Amen.

"Death to the taxman and his short evil men." Proclaimed Winchester

Winchester, the Goat Farmer, dawned his gambeson, before secondly adorning his chainmail body armor that his father's father's father's father wore during the Great Crusades. Aggressively polishing the rust off of an old family sword, and brung his goats to the city of Du Loc. "Now this, these are the faithful I can rally for."

A (goat) FARMER ULTIMATUM _______________________________________________________________ The "people" of Yong Ping, I, the Goat Farmer of Almaris, mighty and handsome that I am, see you in your hour of need. For the fee of 500 interchangeable monetary legitimate funds on a yearly bases, I, the (very attractive, and strong) brave soldier will come ensure that your grass DOES NOT, rustle, and that NO man attempt to put a darkly colored (One could even say black) vale over you, or any loved ones! I will also bring my flock of "healthy" goats, to renounce all demons and re-enforce my Garrison of myself and several men who help me write this. (I cannot read or write) _______________________________________________________________ SIGNED The Goat Farmer, farmer of goats, master of herding, handsomest man, Baron of my Hut!

A young Mercatorii read the news he had collected from local missive boards to his veteran aging, crippled, Father as he lay in bed.. ”A Bishop, the family, has passed away, a letter addressed to our kin follows, Father.. Do you wish to hear it?” “A Bishop..? Who- His name, what was his name, Ezicul?” ”Luka, papa, Luka Bishop.. Shall I read his letter now?” The Father choked on his words, but gave a slight nod nonetheless, and the Son read the letter.. The Father shed a single tear rolling over so his Son could not see his moment of weakness. ”I would like some alone-time, Ezicul. Please.” ”Of course, Papa.” Till death do I part.

Can you remove the copious amounts of warnings on my account?