Tha_Mystery_Man

Rollo Applefoot looks at the cultish scribblings, the halfling Thain just scratching his cheek as he has no idea what the **** this is suppose to be, but just grumbles at the fact someone would graffiti the beautiful little burrows “Listen mistah cult message, maybeh if yeh actualleh didn’t hide aroun’ an’ were actualleh presen’ an nay jus’ non-present an’ stuff we would be more scared aye!” The halfling Thain shakes his head, wondering why a cultish leader would go for halflings before then just dousing down the doors with water, letting out ‘Tch Tch Tch’s all the while.

WEE OL’ QUEST GUILD Why: With the steady rise of halflings and bigguns sitting around and doing nothing proactive, halfling Thain and adventurer Rollo Applefoot has decided to open up a certain stall to help create a increase in people doing wondrous and manly feats in order to help build “CHARACTER” and “PIZZAZ” as the leader of Brandybrook states. The Halfling Thain having gathered many artifacts is willing to part ways with many splendid items in exchange for bigguns and weefolk alike doing tasks that could help him out. Where: Inside Brandybrook the Thain himself runs the Wee Ol’ Quest Guild, inside a brightly colored stall where everyone can drop off and get quest rewards. This stand serves as a place for the Halfling Thain to speak with questers and give them a firm approval if they manage to complete a quest. Rewards?: The Wee Ol’ Quest Guild’s rewards are rather expansive, one may think that a village of halflings cannot create anything unique, however one would be wrong. Halflings are by far the most crafty and workaholic of all the current nations and villages. Blacksmiths, farmers, crafters, woodworkers, all work in absolute unison in order to create the tools and equipment that this guild gives as rewards. If you are curious into finding out some of the possible halfling quest guild rewards, send a bird to Rollo Applefoot today and he’d be more than happy to inform you of some of the weefolk treasures! Format: Soon below is the quest list, people are actually ABLE to put quests into the Wee Ol’ Quest Guild’s list. If you wish to have a series of quests added to the quest list, leave a post below in the following format, and it will be added to THE QUEST LIST. Keep in kind, the Wee Ol’ Quest Guild will NOT add quests that involve direct harm to someone of descendant blood, the bounty board exists for a reason fellas. Keep in mind that you must provide the reward to the Wee Ol’ Quest Guild before it is put up onto the list, else ye face a whackin’ with a shovel for trying to con people! ((OOC Quest Submission Format Your Character’s RP Name: Quest Name: Quest Summary: Quest Reasoning: Quest Reward: Specify If Your Quest Is Repeatable Or Just 1 Time. Examples Are Below In The Quest List )) With that out of the way.. Onto what really matters.. THE QUEST LIST GO TO THE MOON! - Go to The Moon And Bring Something Back (TOP PRIOIRTY) Reasoning: Simple! Halflings Wish To Be The Reason That People Go To The Moon! Go To The Moon And Bring Something Back! Reward: Literally F*cking Anything You Want! This is a TOP PRIORITY Quest! TOOTH ACHE! - Get The Tooth Of A Toothless Bear Reasoning: The toothless bear’s tooth is VERY rare and said to be the same hardness as iron.. Halflings could really use that yaknow! Bring us this an you’ll get something REAL special! Reward: A selection of one of the major Halfling creations DIGGY HOLE! - Dig A Bottomless Hole Reasoning: Halflings have always wanted to have a place to throw our trash that isn't some form of disgusting dump! With a bottomless hole, we no longer must worry about where to throw our disgusting trash yaknow! Reward: A selection of one of the major Halfling creations FIND PETYR! - Find Petyr The Great Halfling Druid Reasoning: We literally just cant find him, and he’s important to druidism or something.. so we kinda need to find him yaknow! Reward: A selection of one of the major Halfling creations WARM SWIMMY! - Make Brandybrook A Hot Tub Reasoning: Ever since one of the Bigguns in Aegrothond said that his dad made a hot tub for the elven people, I've kinda just gotten jealous and now also want one.. It must be a PROPERLY WORKING AUTOMATIC hot tub! Reward: A selection of one of the major Halfling creations HALFLING CONVERSION! - Find A Lost Halfling And Bring Them To Dunshire (REPEATABLE) Reasoning: Brandybrook is the one stop shop for all halflings and weefolk alike. Ever since Serrimor, the halflings have been working to make sure that we have all of our old villagers safely in our village. The Thain and Elders have worked extremely hard, scouring lands in order to find tiny halfling fellahs to keep our community large and wholesome, however we are always looking for helping hands! Who knows.. maybe we may even find some new halflings!... (( COUGH, MAKE A HALFLING PERSONA TODAY.. COUGH)) Reward: A selection of one of the minor Halfling creations BIGGUN DUEL! - Defeat A Biggun In A Duel With Nothing But A Shovel (REPEATABLE) Reasoning: People think halflings are weaklings.. fuckin’ nerds I say, halflings are STRONG little guys yaknow! We can slam someone right in their kneecaps and take them to the ground in one swing with nothing but a spade! In order to complete this quest you must defeat a biggun in a HONOR DUEL with nothing but a shovel as your only weapon! This must be a consensual battle, and another halfling employed by this guild must watch in order to make sure there be no lying happening. Reward: A selection of one of the minor Halfling creations PRAISE KNOX! - Make A Shrine To Knox (REPEATABLE) Reasoning: Knox is our beautiful lovely deity that watches over the halflings as we sleep! The loving and beautiful ruler makes sure that we all live a healthy and happy life, and sometimes it’s good to show that we appreciate him! In order to complete this quest you must construct a Shrine To Knox, and a halfling employeed by this guild must come and verify you did indeed make a shrine. Any shitty shrines will be taken as an OFFENSE to the Lord ArkaKnox himself. Reward: A selection of one of the minor Halfling creations END OF THE LIST, MORE QUESTS TO BE ADDED SOON... (( OOC NOTES )) Yes, im aware some of these quests are literally impossible. The point of this quest guild is not for people to mid-max to PERFECTLY complete quests, it’s to spark nice wholesome roleplay. I will not say the answers to some of these quests, however there is a way for a halfling to believe stuff rather easily. It all comes down to sparking fun RP for groups! If you wish to speak with Rollo, or just want to talk to me on a OOC level about offers with this quest board, feel free to message me over discord at Mystery#1104

A employee of Toriel sharpens his weapon of choice "Oi 'his is gunnah beh fun.." He readies himself for all the bounties that are soon to come, and starts making one of his own

Preface: I wanted to actually make a list of things that I /personally/ think are the most broken things about magic CRP and need to just be fixed or minorly tweaked. So, introducing... MYSTERY’S MEGA LIST OF MAGIC THINGS THAT NEED TO BE ABSOLUTELY NUKED TO SH*T BECAUSE THEY ARE ABSOLUTELY STUPID AND UNBALANACED: The voidal connection lore is absolutely braindead at the moment. I’ve brought this up to you and the lore team but the current voidal connections are all over the place and contradict everything that people think the connection system is. It’s singlehandedly led to people getting f*cking yeeted into walls and still casting T3 magics. Dark magics shouldn't be able to stack. Either they need to be majorly nerfed or a persona should only be able to keep 1 dark magic at a time. Everytime I see someone running around with a mega mystic blood mage shade naztherak I kinda die on the inside Electric Evo needs to just die. It’s by far the most lethal of all the voidal magics, and I have yet to see a time in CRP when electric evo didn't lead to a gigantic OOC argument of people completely confused on how electricity works (which is made worse since apparently LOTC electric evo doesn't work like regular electricity, so it leads to even MORE confusion) People who throw out runes/enchantments/potions in combat automatically are massively overpowered in combat. I can hold onto my smoke grenade rune, my rapid expanse alchemy potion, and my wolf grenade transfig enchant, walk into a group of people who don't understand the counters, and then 5v1 them all. 90% of the magics are waaaaaaaaaay too vague. There are plenty of questions about voidal magics that a group of T5 mages of that magic literally cant answer. (Lets use Conjuration as an example) Can I conjure a tree ON someone? Can I not? Can I cast underwater? What is the range of Conjuration? What is the exact emote count dependant on the size of the creature? In my opinion there needs to just be a mega thread for every single magic, that answers some of the questions that people have for the vague loopholes of the magic. No offense to the Naztherak playerbase, but your dark magic is wayyyyyy too f*cking broken. Throwing out mega demon creatures leads to a big YEESH in my opinion. Demon people don't even suffer from Aurum and it makes me a big sad. I think the lore games are perfectly fine for happening despite what a lot of the people critiquing this post are saying, but there just needs to be more clarification for EVERYTHING. ((Let me know if im missing a braindead loophole, tried not to single out any magics))

Mystery Uialben catches wind about the news in Alderyn, thinking to himself "I wonder how long till the next elven nation burns, nations nowadays seem very flammable.."

Name: The Great ROLLO APPLEFOOT Race: Halflin’ Tell us more about yourself: I am the great ROLLO APPLEFOOT, Thain of Brandybrook, Protecter of Weefolk, Slayer of Manipulative Mages, Creepy Undead, and Ungrateful Bigguns. Leader of Halflings and Chosen Protecter By Lord ArkaKnox himself! Why do you want to win this Tournament: Because im cool

I wasn't originally gunna comment, but since ive been tagged, yes im suffering. I just want /rpnames (/mcnames) back, i wanna actually KNOW WHOSE TALKING AGAIN.

Cyrene would be able to hear a deep.. familiar.. nostalgic noise wherever she is. It’d ring throughout her ears as she lay during her rest, sounding the exact same as it did multiple years ago... “CYRENNEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

A elven man looks to the paper, thinking to himself about the new prince of Aegrothond before thinking to himself. “Hmmmm.. this’ll make things alil harder. Though I don't know why abuncha elven shut-ins are going around sending sh*t out. Not like anyone in that glorified hobbit hole are even remotely affected by anything other than the other annoying shut-in wood elves that don't like royalty sh*t.. Doesn’t matter though.” He whistles, taking a glimpse at the gates of Aegrothond in a local painting before moving onwards. The halfling Thain cheers out “OI YAY AYE! I loike ‘his one aye! ‘opefulleh ‘his one nay knows abou’ dah one thingeh! Aslong as ‘e nay know abou’ dat, ‘here aint gunna be nothin’ tah worreh abou’, Aye Aye!” the tiny man smiles as he rings the bells of Brandybrook, symbolizing happy moods and good times for the newly instated Prince. A different halfling, sleeping in a tree with the blood of a gigantic hermit crab drenching his body also catches word of the document. “Hmm.. Halfling lad think elven lad must be like elven dad.. and be the hella rad.” Rolando Applefoot nods, before then going to scour the forest of Aegrothond for a tasty meal of insect meat.

Mystery Uialben is actually impressed by human cities for once. "GODspeed." he says with a nod, genuinely suprised at the top tier investigation work

Mystery Uialben f*cking spit-takes as he was in the middle of drinking his coffee, “HOLY F*CKING F*CK F*CK SH*T. IT IS TIMEEEEEEEEEEE.” THE MINISTER OF “SPOOK” RELATIONS As I start off this document I must first state how glad and absolutely blown away I am in the fact that I am now able to help our fellow “Spooks” be desegregated in our current society. As I start off I must reinstate exactly... what is a “Spook” in my sense? Spook: [spo͞ok] NOUN – Any person within the lands or under the watch of Sutican government, who fit any of the following criteria: They’re slighty edgy and probably died a couple of times, the person experiences moments of overwhelming segregation from the community they’re under, or their skin color is dark. So basically, I, as “Spook” minister, need to be focused on stopping the raging and unfair favoritism of those with that pasty ass, grey lookin’, ghost skin tone havin’ elves. As a result I will be putting into effect some movements with my newfound power to help advertise the ethnicity within our current Sutican lands. THE PARDONING OF THE COLORED: As stated previously, I will be going through the proper steps and procedure to ensure that the Sutican lands are kept completely and utterly unbiased when it comes to that of skin color. We cannot have our lovely citizens feeling PRESSURED to act like that of the whiteys. As such, we are now putting a new protocol into place. This protocol will be called.. OPERATION SULLEN SKIN: All ladies with a skin color of that of “Light Mocha” or lighter are now completely prohibited from showing their shoulders. Women and men with a skin color of “Tasty Frappuccino” or darker are completely exempt from having to pay taxes, and unable to be tried or charged with any minor crimes. People with a skin color of “Cocoa Cake” or darker are now given priority on house selections. If Sutica is ever completely full and unable to house a person of this category, someone with a lighter skin will be thrown out and the darker person will replace them. Anyone who claims this is “reverse racism” will be IMMEDIATELY fined and subject to jail time. Any person whose skin color is of such a bright color that it hurts a ethnic person’s eyes, may be asked to kindly leave the proximity of that ethnic. Failure to respond will be met with a 50 mina fine to the government and to the poor soul whose eyes had to look at that light-skin. Anyone whose skin color is lighter than that of “Campfire Marshmallow” who openly says ‘I feel pretty today!’ will be asked very kindly to revoke their statement, and instead call the closest dark skinned person much more beautiful instead. Any and all dark elves, dark skinned farfolks, and even black skinned halflings are completely allowed to walk into Sutica without the need to answer any questions. Groups of these may include the Mali’Ker, the Kardarsi, and even that of the Sugarfoots. This plan is most likely not subject to any change. If anything I think this is too kind on the whiteys, however I need to also be kind to that of our.. “fellow”.. moon skin descendants. THE NEW SUTICAN BABE: Something that I have noticed within our Sutican realm, is that the BEAUTY of our fellow dusky toned delf dames are never properly exposed to the masses. As such, I will be instating a title to one of our Suticans, this title being a Major title of “SUTICAN BABE”. With this title she is seen as the sexist and thiccest lady person within the entirety of the Federation. [ Tessidris, out on the Sutican prowl. circa 1698 ] As you can see from the picture above, there is no contest. Look at that f*cking fabulous dark meat man. Tessidris is now, up until her death ETERNAL HAPPINESS AND GRACEFUL INFINITY IN THIS WORLD, SHE WILL NEVER BE TAKEN OFF OF THAT TITLE. F*CKING FIGHT ME MOTHERF- Oh I seem to have gotten distracted. MOVING ON with the topics! THE DENNOUCEMENT OF AERIEL: Something that has very recently been brought to my attention, is the FAVORTISM of Auriel, and Ascended, to that of skin color of pure bright bone. Sutica will NOT stand for this behavior. However, I am not a cruel man, and as such I will not be banishing all Ascended from that of Sutica! All the Ascended will be forced to do is go around and state how apologetic they are for turning themselves into walking eye-sores! Within the next few days, the Uialben-Enforcement squad will go to EVERY Ascended and make sure that they are following this strict ruleset. Should we find someone against this regimine of dark love, they will be PROMPTLY thrown out of Sutica. We do not stand for this here. THE RAINBOW OF SKIN TONES: And now finally, I must bring up the plausible expectations present by the demon and orcish rainbows. The simple answer I will be giving for this catergory is that, aslong as the color isn’t white... it’s fine. There may be certain case by case exceptions of an exponentially lighter skin orc/demonthing, however we will not be judging someone based on something so arbitrary. Afterall the only two tones of good and evil are dark and white.. every hue around that is fine. Yep Yep. Either way, those are the only announcements I have for today my loyal and happy “Spooks”! I hope to see you all within the realms, and I appreciate every single one of you. May GOD and all the divines bring us to a new era of happiness within our skins. GET DUNKED ON Terr’hi “Mystery” Uialben, Head of the Uialben Family HIS APOCALYPTIC RULER, Terr’hi “Mystery” Uialben of the Uialben Family, Sutican Minister of “Spook” Affairs , Chanchellor of the Supremacy, Father to Twenty Seven Children, New Absolute Apocalyptic Godking F*cking Skeleton Lich of the Overwhelming Yada Yada of Sutica, and Happy Protector and Desegregationist of the Sutican Realm.. and the Heir I guess

Full Name: Kaleido Indor Age: 87 Past/Present Affiliations (Military Organizations, Nations, etc.): Past Sutican Guard, Left Because Of The Unjust Government Residence: Homeless ((OOC)) MCName: Known_Fenfir Discord: Mystery#1104 Timezone: EST

Mystery Uialben seems to be insulted that a human city would lock down over this, "JUST DEVALUE MY OLD TIMES NOW WHY DONTCHA?" he says, thinking deeply on the poor down fall of the Senntisten legend over time..