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Johnny_Fat

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About Johnny_Fat

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  1. “Regardless of how you angle it, you will, for the rest of time, be considered a race traitor by Rhoswhenii and Humans who do not dab. Aurelius would be rolling in his grave to see how you let Humanity fall. Certainly, he hated Oren. But Humanity did not cease through battle with the dwed. It succumbed to disease, the disease of traitors who, in their thirst for power and malicious attitudes, quite literally invited the dwarves in to wreak havoc upon fellow humans. Weak. Shame on the house of Tiber, shame.” commented angry scholar.
  2. Richard smirks, “We’ve fought Beets, Sarkozics and now Dwarves. One ineffective enemy after another – will the dwarves too fizzle out?”
  3. “A shame, truly. When handed the reigns of power, these individuals saw Ves crumble into obscurity and inactivity. Travelers did not come, the military was non-existent. Now, when Ves has life breathed into it via the workings of the fair Regent, they flee. To me, it seems as if these individuals lavished in their titles only as long as they could get away with not using them. When the cogs once more turned, they refused to perform their civic duty and instead flee to a haven of actual heresy. Luckily, their absences have been felt for some time prior to them leaving – thus, this letter only serves as a public cry of virtue and the seeking of attention in hopes of deterring the progress and stability afforded by the Prince Regent. Glory to Ves, may they never return so that their lack of work ethic may never bring us down again.” Explains Procurator Protector Viktor Orban to his men!
  4. ??? Fleepers aren’t against this, Fleepers are just angry men who are disenfranchised with ERP! They only hunt ERPers because they believe it brings down the morality of the server through the promotion of Free Love, Miscegenation, Homosexuality etc (see Zhulik’s Guide to ERP). Uneducated peons such as yourself should realize that in the Clownic Vocabularum the term “Fleeper” is a term designated for a humble new player/man who spends their every waking hour grinding resources and doing monotonous tasks. The great irony is Fleepers are called PVP goons for waging a war which aims to bring back culture and morality to a server that forfeited development and culture for the whims of Elven hussies and teenagers who care more about looking like an anime character and having online romance rp than adding to the server’s feel. No good man has ever been slain by a Fleeper! Do not disdain the Fleeper, they are the reactionaries which every server needs! Fleepers don’t care about war rules.
  5. THE CAER BANN COMPANY 13th of Godfrey’s Triumph, 1722. MISSION The Caer Bann Company is an organization of disgruntled veterans, cast aside by most men, who still wish to do good before they perish and transcend into the next realm. Clad in Crimson and White and living within the eastern reach of Robertston, men of Caer Bann conduct themselves as free men and sellswords, offering their aid to whoever the Company deems in need, be it a poor peasant, an ally or a monetary contractor. As such, these veterans, with no lord but their commander, Richard de Reden, roam about the country-side and travel city to city in hopes of finding work or use in some way or another. CONTRACTS Security Contracts involving security implies that men of Caer Bann would be acting as peacekeepers for their employer. Be it an escort, the need for extra blades during a high-stress event or simple intimidation, Caer Bann, dependent on the task, shall rally and aid in these endeavours. Additionally, the men of Caer Bann will do its best to aid in the repelling of raids and fight to the death if need be. It should be noted, however, that stupidity is not the same as bravery - should a contract appear to result in certain death, it will be ignored. Prices to be discussed. Offense Men of Caer Bann hold a special ability in their ability to extend cruelty upon its enemies. Though mayhaps not the greatest fighters in the land, they are more competent than nine out of ten guard forces and/or militias. Thus, provided that contracts violate no international treaties, security contracts and/or if a contractor is willing to take full responsibility for the task given to the company, the men of Caer Bann will get into the cuts and do your dirty deed. Prices to be discussed. Construction Being veterans, those in the Caer Bann Company hold the unique ability to quickly establish defenses in a timely manner. Should your fief or people be in need of security upgrades or men to dig trenches, the Caer Bann Company is more than willing to aid in these endeavors should the price warrant the labor. It is noted, however, that this does NOT entail fortress construction. Outpost construction, on the other hand, is possible. Prices to be discussed. RANK STRUCTURE Footman Footmen are the fresh blooded and/or potentially untrustworthy members of the company. Put through a trial period to determine their loyalties and ability to listen to commands and integration, footmen are expected to become trained before potential oathing. The duty of a footman is to become a well-rounded member of the Caer Bann company, so that they might be oathed. Man-At-Arms Men-at-Arms within the Caer Bann company make the bulk of the force and hold its plethora of blades. Filled with recently oathed and fully fledged members, those who don the rank Man-At-Arms receive full contract privileges and the ability to receive a portion of the pay from contract. Additionally, these men will be considered for promotion. The duty of a Man-At-Arms is to simply participate in contracts and aid in their completion. Sergeant* Sergeants within the Caer Bann company are the lowest ranking officers and thereby are the most plentiful. Not made a lieutenant, most likely due to a lack of combat prowess and/or due to their fresh nature within the company, Sergeants wear the normal uniform equipped with pauldrons and tassets. Sergeants are expected to act as the role-models for the lower ranks and display their prowess so that they might be promoted to lieutenant. Lieutenant* Lieutenants within the Caer Bann company are those who’ve mild officer power yet have shown great prowess in combat. Primarily acting as the heavy lifters of the Company, Lieutenants are to act as fall-back commanders should the chain of command falter and thus have authority only in instances of combat. Lieutenants are clad in full Company Steel and are expected to own and break their own steed. Captain Captains within Caer Bann act as the head of Company divisions and are tasked with leading men on most missions. Captains, observable by their full armor and sigils, are the ones most likely to lead their squadrons into the chaos of battle. Duties of Captains include training, recruitment and the execution of contracts. Current Captains, as it stands, consists of Robert Rovin II [Zhukov__] and Sigemaer Wodansson [Cranky_Varangian]. General The General of Caer Bann acts as the martial right-hand of the Governor General and oversees most military matters. Tasked with general recruitment and training, it is expected of the Marshal to ensure that Companymen are disciplined, busy and employed. Duties of the Marshal include recruitment, the seeking of contracts, training and moral reinforcement. The Current Marshal, as it stands, is the honorable Honeycut [Generalstang838]. Governor General The Governor General of Caer Bann acts as both civil and martial administrator of the Company and the lands which the Company owns. The Governor General thusly acts as the de jure head of the Company and has ultimate say in contract acceptance, rejection and military decisions. The Governor General’s duties include ratifying promotions, contracts and maintaining order within Company grounds. The current Governor General, as it stands, is the honorable Richard de Reden [Littlefleeper]. APPLICATION NAME: AGE: GENDER: RACE: [OOC] DISCORD:
  6. “All this drama for a shite house!” BARKS the bastard of a bastard.
  7. “I counted 28 – 28 Horen descendents from the Pertinaxis, EXCLUDING the Marna filth. Yet, people who I speak to wonder why I call them mutts!” comments a rather confused Richard de Reden.
  8. To the Esteemed Count of Ravensburg, I, alongside my peers, write to you this day to present our concerns to thee. Previous attempts for civility have been met with wrothfulness from your employees and the banner-men, which, in turn, leads me to believe that you have sanctioned such activity and share no concern in punishing them for such disrespectful conduct. When my company-men and I approached your settlement, we were told to disperse or leave a message. We attempted to leave a message, to which your men told us to disband, join Ravensburg or “**** Off”. Regardless, our issue shall be defined and made clear to you so that you may understand the angle in which we write from. Simply put, the tabard in which you have equipped your company with acts a disrespectful thorn upon the legacy of those who came before you, that being the Order of the White Rose. I in no way, shape or form claim to be a Roseman nor a spokesperson for the Kaedreni. However, I can state that my ancestor, Jack Rovin, was indeed a Man-At-Arms within the Order of the White Rose, thereby making my family Rhoswhenii. Thus, to have your men parade about as if they were the spiritual successor to the White Rose not only spits upon my Ancestor, but, in consequence, feels as if you are spitting upon the ancestors of all modern Rhoswenii. The literal successor to the White Rose was that of the Order of the Flaming Rose - an Organization, which, as history shows, only forms out of perceived necessity. At this point in time, however, there is no perceived necessity for the Order of the Flaming Rose - which, to clarify, was ran and led by direct descendants of House Chivay. Additionally, those of House Chivay formed the Third Holy Orenian Empire, linking their legacy - and that of the White Rose - to that of humanity for eternity. Such was evident within the Imperial Palace in the realm known as the Fringe where a stained-glass White Rose was displayed before the court and the populace as a whole. Once Again, Ravensburg is not linked in this capacity as, although the settlement is growing, it is by no means a successor to the White Rose. To believe such exhibits the sin of pride and, more importantly, showcases your willingness to not only utilize the colors of the White Rose, but to attempt and hijack the Order’s sigil. The Order has been retired, as has its sigil. I pray that you may see the folly in its use. Let the evidence speak for itself, here is an artist's depiction of the tabard in question: As far as I am aware of, there are no Rhoswenii houses within your County, and - more importantly - I am certain that you yourself lack blood of the Kaedreni. Therefore, I humbly ask thee - on behalf of the descendants of the men of the White Rose, to cease and desist in the use of this uniform so that peace of mind and respect may be given to those who perished honorably centuries before. Sincerely, Hans Rovin, Patriarch of House Rovin, Titular Markgraf of Vanderfell, Titular Baron of Arnheim and descendent of BLESSED Jack Rovin, White Rose Man-at-Arms. Ser Helton Hadrian Helvets, Patrician of Ves, Last Elector of Kaedrin, descendent of BLESSED Ser Foltest of Aeldin, Knight of the Flaming Rose. Caleb Crider, descendent of Alexei Nicodemus, White Rose Decurion.
  9. “Holy **** Haense BTFO commendable” comments Yahya Al-Samin.
  10. Richard de Reden, commander of Owyn’s Creed, is most gracious that the anti-Pontiff approves of a fellow scapegoat “Owynist” order. Now he could commit all the war-crimes he desired with plausible deniability!
  11. “Ves should make of burning a second time...” comments Sviato with disapproval in the Seven Skies. Mayhaps it was best that Darius Ault humbled the city. At-least he was in the Seven Skies with him.
  12. Sviato paints a portrait of his family in the Seven Skies.
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