2,922 Days

[The King Of The Moon 5123]

On the 30th of June, 2015, I discovered LotC by chance search and, as a total outsider, created my forum account and applied to join the Lord of the Craft the following day.

 

We used Skype to send messages in janky single-chat channel 'groups' and have occasional one on one calls. The lucky among us had Teamspeak to accommodate group voice chat. Most conversation beyond that relating to roleplay was held on the server itself between characters first and players second.

Today it feels like with the advent of Discord (where many even hang out in VCs whilst roleplaying with the same people), global OOC chat, Twitter-esque forum use and the many external pressures put on communities to behave more in line with OOC accommodation (gotta get that activity up!) over narrative pursuits, the lines between characters and players are blurred and it has become increasingly harder to tell an authentic story without the OOC pressure to follow another player's desired story beats or 'script'. 

 

It feels like since late Atlas (if not earlier), for me personally, obsessing over that sort of raw and emotive storytelling I once knew has been like trying to catch lightning in a bottle. Somewhere along the way I began to question if it had even existed to begin with, or if I was just looking back at week one of Vailor blinded by nostalgia.

 

Much has changed in the time since then. Friends have come and gone. I had plenty of laughs, though above all else the community has changed. I have changed. The values that I and some older players I've talked to about this hold are not the values upheld by the modern majority or upper decision makers. A part of me doubts it's even possible to revive many of those old values thanks to an inevitability of technology and how modern RP circles form.

I am by no means attempting to criticise those that use the tools available to them. In many cases, such as nation leadership, there isn't even much choice in curbing the aforementioned character bleed and softcore metagaming (because if you don't the next guy will, and then he'll win the war/ coup/ popularity contest). I'm not blaming or attacking anyone here.

I can't stomach the self righteousness of most quitting posts; LotC was here before me and it will outlive me. I'm not trying to slander this community nor encourage others to quit. In many ways things have gotten better, and in other ways worse. I've met amazing people and ultimately I've grown up. I don't have the childish wonder I came to LotC with anymore, nor the patience to watch player and staff cycles repeat the same mistakes. I've told stories, and tried to - through writing, community building and RP - help others tell theirs. That's enough for me.

I hope in that sense I've left this space in a better state than I found it with a wealth of world and player lore and culture (a religion and two whole ass made up languages lol) I'm proud to have worked on both as solo projects and in collaboration with many brilliant writers. 

 

Though clinging on to a dying legacy is hardly a reason to stay. I'm not vain enough to keep justifying my presence here by trying to sculpt our shared world to fit my seemingly outdated ideals.

Over the past three years I've felt increasingly alienated here, like I'm spectating and baffled by what I'm witnessing yet powerless to change it. Most of my best friends here are equally disenfranchised or have been outright bullied off of LotC by people acting in bad faith that retain a platform which wouldn't have been tolerated in the past. I don't know how to fix that - or if there's even anything to 'fix' (most people seem content in their own way) - though as what may be my final anniversary on LotC has come, I also have to recognise that the time and effort I've spent already has been thankless and the hope of greener pastures I've been holding out for here is long gone;
It's not my community anymore. I often question if I'm even still welcome in it.

So here I am on the 30th of June, 2023, and I'm an outsider again.

A sobering amount of time, that prompted the digestion of many overdue thoughts. So without malice I'm taking my leave, at least for a while. I made this rambly post because people have already asked my reasons for leaving. Somewhere in the above word vomit is an explanation, but if you want the short answer?

 

Eight years is a long time. 
 

[ScreamingDingo 16990]

Always respect your hustle and how you've done world building on this server. It's something I will always understand to be great and I know the exact feeling that you speak about on the post. I'm stuck here in my own personal crusade to finally make a legacy [which will most likely be fruitless].

To your next stories and adventures you have elsewhere, hope you keep your passion for writing alive in other mediums.

[Gustando 1457]

See you brotha. Even if it was brief, I enjoyed rping with you last map and hope the best for you.

[Jentos 6881]

I'll always be fond of that initial RP with you on Vailor, even though I was a little squealing noob. I too dream of the sheer wonder I felt back in Vailor. 

 

Take life by the horns, and best of luck out there. 

[christman 2307]

my interactions with u inspire me 2 be better & do better in my minecraft gaming career 

have a good 1 :^)

[Traveller 2172]

hey mordu, it's been a bit since we've spoken properly bar the odd one or two line discord dms about Certain Things.

 

just wanted you to know some of my rp with you has been the best on the server, that and your lore has done nothing but inspire me for my own endeavours in and outside of lotc, which sounds silly but it is completely true. i'll always hold you in high regards as one of the best rpers to have ever graced the server, and i'm still to this day very grateful you put so much trust in me with siliti.

 

i don't blame you for leaving, whether it's temporary or permanent, it's better you leave whilst you have good memories than stay and create sour ones to overwrite them, but i do hope you can come back sooner or later and have another crack at it, because a serious hole will be left in rp and lore without you.

 

enjoy your time away, permanent or temporary, cheers mate :)

 

Spoiler

 

 

[Laeonathan 3970]

While we were never friends, I always enjoyed our RP interactions. Even if not in the moment, our petty squabble about the useless channel from Helena to Reza was probably one of the funniest things on LOTC I can remember now.

[DISCOLIQUID 1963]

 

[Cloakedsphere 1462]

I've never quite interacted with you so I cant speak on personal experiences aside from the 1 time I believe you and I were both misunderstood when I declared war against a certain player group you might've been a part of. It had come to my attention just a couple weeks ago that what I had done, even though nothing of significance had occurred, caused a major rift in the mystic community with infighting between the players and eventually the degradation of the community to now be split into multiple sects (some would say this is a good thing, others may think it is bad). I'd like to apologize if there was ever any misunderstanding in my intent and never wanted these things to happen to the mystic community. I am glad on some aspects that it helped others drift away and create their own story lines and narratives with new groups and in other ways I am saddened to know that I potentially was a catalyst for people killing off their character, friendships being broken, and/or leaving the server. None of that was ever the intent and I understand what is done cannot be undone but hopefully in the future you'll understand that I never meant for any of that to ever happen. 

Good luck in what ever it is you decide to pursue in the future. I have enjoyed a majority of your writings that I have come across.

[Proddy 2247]

I'm glad we managed to square things up between us a while back, and I know exactly the feeling you're talking about in the post. Now more than ever the server really does run moreso off of an OOC bureaucracy of popularity contest and personality cult over dynamic roleplay oppurtunity and narrative fidelity. I think it's been snowballing to a worst state over the years and it's only really reached it's zenith over the past two years or so. People really care more pixels and how others will percieve them with their own community over the ultimate point of LoTC; that being telling a good, collaborative story. It really takes a lot of the magic out of the server that was once there, and may possibly be out of reach for good.

 

Regardless of that tangent, whether you return or this is the end; I hope you find success in whatever you do off the server and continue to write through some other medium. I think you've made some fantastic lore contributions to the server and it'd be a massive shame to see that talent go to waste.

[excited 10833]

Speaking to you and Eric here and there over the years has been a pleasure. Goodbye, EnderDragonSlayer66. Derfey sends his regards.

[UnBaed 8953]

1 hour ago, Cloakedsphere said:

I've never quite interacted with you so I cant speak on personal experiences aside from the 1 time I believe you and I were both misunderstood when I declared war against a certain player group you might've been a part of. It had come to my attention just a couple weeks ago that what I had done, even though nothing of significance had occurred, caused a major rift in the mystic community with infighting between the players and eventually the degradation of the community to now be split into multiple sects (some would say this is a good thing, others may think it is bad). I'd like to apologize if there was ever any misunderstanding in my intent and never wanted these things to happen to the mystic community. I am glad on some aspects that it helped others drift away and create their own story lines and narratives with new groups and in other ways I am saddened to know that I potentially was a catalyst for people killing off their character, friendships being broken, and/or leaving the server. None of that was ever the intent and I understand what is done cannot be undone but hopefully in the future you'll understand that I never meant for any of that to ever happen. 

Good luck in what ever it is you decide to pursue in the future. I have enjoyed a majority of your writings that I have come across.

 

To assure you for your comment:

 

You didn't cause any infighting in the Mystic community for declaring war on our lair [unless I've just been living under a massive rock].  The community was growing and people had their own ideas they wanted to pursue and it was just agreed that it was better done separately because it didn't make sense to stick together as a group with conflicting ideas

 

As for Mordu:

 

Enjoy your time way from the server

[squakhawk 7924]

hey bro

just wanted to let you know i hope things are going well and even if we've spent equal time both laughing together and butting heads, I hope the prior outweighed the latter in your memory and mine. I feel in retrospect you've said a lot of things which at first seemed somewhat outlandish, hell some even still are - but I've learned a lot from the outcomes you brought me or lessons you were trying to convey. After graduating from the Lhindir Test Tube as subject #003 I felt pretty isolated both lore-wise and on the ST and was intimidated by a lot of the guys who I consider made me to what I am. Dunstan, phil, eric, arzota, and yourself- a lot of you guys I take most of my most formative inspiration from, from when I was first an ST and a budding player just starting my journey here. 

It's easy to sit here now and think that this will be the last time, and equally as much that it won't be. It's easier to think about every time I've made a mistake, or misjudged someone. 

I hope you take things easy and well, and have fun. I hope you find some good creative endeavors elsewhere; minecraft rp is a highly specific itch so few things can seem to scratch.

 

Take it easy.

[Bonito 2264]

despite the turbulence, the rp you generated was some of the most fun i’ve had on the server, and your dedication to minecraft terror that didnt center around pvp or being a sociopath on discord is rare and appreciated 

 

i don’t think anyone’s avoided falling into the trap of the highschoolification of lotc to some degree, so it’s great to step away and smell the non pixelated roses. have fun, learn stuff, and find something that fills the hole this place can leave

 

 

[megavoltar 1110]

Escape, u deserve